Marie Mallory
Well-known member
It is alot of money but we're not talking about more than a couple months. Our kids will hekp some if needed, not planning on that though.
Maybe use crdit card if we can.
Hospice or Hospital
- Thread starter Marie Mallory
- Start date
Maybe use crdit card if we can.
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Thanks for the help and imput.Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Not going to leave Jake in a bind, with bills he can't pay.
Faye Fox
Well-known member
So, is a couple of months what the doctors have given you @Marie Mallory ?
If that is the case, do you really want to spend it sharing a room with someone in a nursing home? I know they call it assisted living, but to me, assisted living implies you have some independent living time left. From what you have told us, you don't have any independent living time left.
So, as this threads title indicates, you have a choice of hospice or hospital. I have known several that chose hospice and they and their loved ones were well pleased with the care and compassion. I have also known one that chose to go to a nursing home with a shared room and she stayed in bed there until she died. Then another that stayed home as long as possible and only went to the hospital when her kids took her there. She refused all care but med for pain, said her goodbyes to everyone and to everyone's surprise, died two hours later.
What is the right choice? I have no idea. Many here have tried to help you explore the pros and cons of each, but that decision is yours and yours alone. As one of my grandmas said, it is a blessing if one gets to chose where they die. Many don't get this choice. It is wonderful that you think of doing what will impact Jake the least, that's called love.
Hugs to you and hopefully you will make a decision soon. Your final journey should be one of being at peace with yourself.
If that is the case, do you really want to spend it sharing a room with someone in a nursing home? I know they call it assisted living, but to me, assisted living implies you have some independent living time left. From what you have told us, you don't have any independent living time left.
So, as this threads title indicates, you have a choice of hospice or hospital. I have known several that chose hospice and they and their loved ones were well pleased with the care and compassion. I have also known one that chose to go to a nursing home with a shared room and she stayed in bed there until she died. Then another that stayed home as long as possible and only went to the hospital when her kids took her there. She refused all care but med for pain, said her goodbyes to everyone and to everyone's surprise, died two hours later.
What is the right choice? I have no idea. Many here have tried to help you explore the pros and cons of each, but that decision is yours and yours alone. As one of my grandmas said, it is a blessing if one gets to chose where they die. Many don't get this choice. It is wonderful that you think of doing what will impact Jake the least, that's called love.
Hugs to you and hopefully you will make a decision soon. Your final journey should be one of being at peace with yourself.
Faye Fox
Well-known member
Here is a highly recommended place in Gainesville. It might be worth calling them. They are Medicare approved.
havenhospice.com
Haven Hospice
Welcome to Haven We are the source for patients, their families and their healthcare providers to find answers to their advanced illness challenges. Haven provides Advance Care Planning, Palliative Care Consultations as well as comfort through the compassionate delivery of Hospice Services...
havenhospice.com
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Faye Hospice wants too much control,where assisted living doesn't.Here is a highly recommended place in Gainesville. It might be worth calling them. They are Medicare approved.
Haven Hospice
Welcome to Haven We are the source for patients, their families and their healthcare providers to find answers to their advanced illness challenges. Haven provides Advance Care Planning, Palliative Care Consultations as well as comfort through the compassionate delivery of Hospice Services...
I just met a man from Haven today, he was at the place I'm checking on, but it is a choice if you want it there.
Is it possible that you can stay in your own home and be with Jake and have some kind of hospice care right in your home, @Marie Mallory ?
I don’t know about hospice, but the hospital wakes people up at all hours of the day and night to take blood pressure, and other stuff, and you can never really get a decent bit of deep sleep, and Jake and your family might only be allowed during visiting hours.
I think that nursing homes have visiting hours, too, at least some of them do; so you would still be restricted in how much time you can be with your family.
If you can have hospice care at home, at least until you needed complete hospital care, you would have more control, and the care would be covered by Medicare, as you mentioned before.
Assisted living is somewhere in between living at your own home and being in a facility, but is not going to be covered by Medicare insurance, and you would need to see what their rules are as far as visitors.
I don’t know about hospice, but the hospital wakes people up at all hours of the day and night to take blood pressure, and other stuff, and you can never really get a decent bit of deep sleep, and Jake and your family might only be allowed during visiting hours.
I think that nursing homes have visiting hours, too, at least some of them do; so you would still be restricted in how much time you can be with your family.
If you can have hospice care at home, at least until you needed complete hospital care, you would have more control, and the care would be covered by Medicare, as you mentioned before.
Assisted living is somewhere in between living at your own home and being in a facility, but is not going to be covered by Medicare insurance, and you would need to see what their rules are as far as visitors.
Beth Gallagher
Well-known member
Marie--you aren't making any of us feel bad, except we are sad that you are going through this and we can only offer some suggestions and a few prayers. I hope you don't feel that we are pressuring you or criticizing your very personal decisions because those are yours to make. Most of us want so badly to help but we don't have the ability to fix it. Plus we don't know how we will handle things when it's our turn to be where you are.
I honestly don't understand your feeling that you won't have any control or input if you choose hospice. That goes against any experience I have ever heard of so I don't know what to say about that. Again, it's totally your decision and you don't have to explain anything to anyone.
I'm hoping that you are getting some pain relief and that the anxiety meds are helping you.
Mary Stetler
Well-known member
Get it in writing and be careful of anything about responsibility for bills. Your kids may help but don't let them sign anything.
Hugs.
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Yvonne, I can't handle being at home. I didn't want to move here 28 years ago. I could handle more long as I stayed busy, now I can't do anythying outside.
We looked for a place we could afford we could keep a horse for Jake. I had the donk and horse sold, but Jake said not getting rid of his horse.We can't afford a damn ranch.
No place near home was affordeable. So somebody told us
about this place in florida.I've been stuck here since. Then Jake broke his back and we had to give horse donk away.
I feel like I've been sentenced to life here.
after we almost lost the place we had so much work in it and money we couldn't leave, Jake loves it here.
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Exactly! Thats why we haven't singed in yet. No way would I in my right mind do that, or Jake either.
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Maybe yall can learn from it? I hope something good comes out of it.
I can relate to that, @Marie Mallory because I have lived in places that I hated, too; but it was the only workable option at the time.
We just have to make do the best we can, which is what you have been doing where you live.
If you want to be somewhere else, then that definitely makes the most sense for you to do, once you find out what is allowed and how everything works.
Adding my prayers for God to give you wisdom and discernment as you make these decisions, and that he will provide the best place for you to be at this time in your life.
Sending HUGS !
We just have to make do the best we can, which is what you have been doing where you live.
If you want to be somewhere else, then that definitely makes the most sense for you to do, once you find out what is allowed and how everything works.
Adding my prayers for God to give you wisdom and discernment as you make these decisions, and that he will provide the best place for you to be at this time in your life.
Sending HUGS !
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
No longer have a choice, I just don't like the isolation and wilderness. Jake likes it.
We do have the dogs and they help alot.
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Don't get me wrong complaining, Jake is a wonderful man a husband.He is my rock and has been for past 47 yr.s.My kids were fed 678 when we met and he provided for us since.
I think they care as much about him a me, especially the grands.
I think they care as much about him a me, especially the grands.
Marie Miller
Well-known member
Marie, please get a copy of the contract asap if you are considering the shared room option. What do you really get - laundry, personal assistance, meals, medication supervision, trips to and from medical appointments, … . Who as in what capacity is on site and what hours. What services will be billed extra?
Marie Mallory
Well-known member
Marie thanks for the help. I think we will be as careful as possible, sure don't need anymore prob;ems.