Marie Mallory Memorial thread

You folks remind me of the "Haven", Hospice people; so kind, and Marie just Loved everyone of you.She asked me and our son to hook up her laptop there at Haven, so we did, but she was never able to even look at it. Marie was a very strong woman and never stopped surprising me with her strength and resilience, her last words to me were; woke me at 4 am when I was able to sleep. said my mouth is so dry, get me up; I said baby I don't think you can get up, she said help me; so I put my arm out and she pulled herself up on her right elbow, was a little wobbly and I gave her a couple sips of water, then I asked her you want your mint gum, she said yes so I broke one in half, she chewed on it then I threw it away, and I told her I'm so sorry, you going through this; I was crying like a baby, thinking I don't want her seeing how sad I am, but can't help it. she said It's "No Ones Fault". Tears in my eyes now. I'm trying not to cry I've cried so much I got dehydrated. I cannot believe anyone can have so much water come out of their eyes. I was trying to tell Yvonne last night, i'm not doing so good with this; and I don't want to offend anyone.

Soon as I'm able to make it or get a grip; I will come back.


I put a bench at her grave site today; sat and talked for hours with her.

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View from her bench.

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Believe me, I want to talk; but I'm not able right now. Just struggle if I get to sleep I wake thinking she's there beside me, only to realize she not, and anxiety attacks, hit me hard.

She spent her days with y'all, and loved everyone of you. She used to tell me, you need to stay logged in; they don't think your "tongue" is hanging out. It helps the site. I would say I don't usually stay logged in anywhere; she would say you should.

Ten days today since she left us; and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get a grip.


Christmas eve 1982, we were married.

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You took very good care of Marie, @Jake Smith. The bench is lovely. Sitting there on the bench talking to, Marie, can help you get through the mourning process. It is very hard to lose a partner of so many years. Take one day at a time. After a while, each day will be a little bit easier to get through, and finally you will settle into a new normal.

You and Marie are a couple of cutie pies in your wedding picture.:)
 
Jake Smith said:
You folks remind me of the "Haven", Hospice people; so kind, and Marie just Loved everyone of you.She asked me and our son to hook up her laptop there at Haven, so we did, but she was never able to even look at it. Marie was a very strong woman and never stopped surprising me with her strength and resilience, her last words to me were; woke me at 4 am when I was able to sleep. said my mouth is so dry, get me up; I said baby I don't think you can get up, she said help me; so I put my arm out and she pulled herself up on her right elbow, was a little wobbly and I gave her a couple sips of water, then I asked her you want your mint gum, she said yes so I broke one in half, she chewed on it then I threw it away, and I told her I'm so sorry, you going through this; I was crying like a baby, thinking I don't want her seeing how sad I am, but can't help it. she said It's "No Ones Fault". Tears in my eyes now. I'm trying not to cry I've cried so much I got dehydrated. I cannot believe anyone can have so much water come out of their eyes. I was trying to tell Yvonne last night, i'm not doing so good with this; and I don't want to offend anyone.

Soon as I'm able to make it or get a grip; I will come back.


I put a bench at her grave site today; sat and talked for hours with her.

View attachment 3072



View from her bench.

View attachment 3071

Believe me, I want to talk; but I'm not able right now. Just struggle if I get to sleep I wake thinking she's there beside me, only to realize she not, and anxiety attacks, hit me hard.

She spent her days with y'all, and loved everyone of you. She used to tell me, you need to stay logged in; they don't think your "tongue" is hanging out. It helps the site. I would say I don't usually stay logged in anywhere; she would say you should.

Ten days today since she left us; and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get a grip.


Christmas eve 1982, we were married.

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Thanks Jake. Don't worry about posting until you are ready. Beautiful wedding photos. Y'all look pretty snazzy and dapper.
 
Jake messaged me this morning. He said he is still grieving a lot, but he is posting some on facebook and would like to be facebook friends with anyone here on SOC who wants to send him a friend request.

I do not want to put his actual name on the public forum, so if you want to be friends with Jake, please send me a PM for his facebook information.
He said the forum is just being too hard for him right now, so many memories of Marie here, but he will post as he is able to do so.
 
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Jake, I don't do facebook. But thank you for your posts here. I lost my soul mate, too, many years ago. I could actually feel him. I felt him as he passed when he was away from me. Maybe you will be able to feel Marie too in your quiet times. You will know when you do.
I am so grateful she is no longer suffering.
I am very sorry that you are.
 
Yvonne Smith said:
Jake messaged me this morning. He said he is still grieving a lot, but he is posting some on facebook and would like to be facebook friends with anyone here on SOC who wants to send him a friend request.

I do not want to put his actual name on the public forum, so if you want to be friends with Jake, please send me a PM for his facebook information.
He said the forum is just being too hard for him right now, so many memories of Marie here, but he will post as he is able to do so.
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I appreciate the suggestion but do not use FB.
 
Jake Smith said:
This I took at her grave before dark. Went twice yesterday, twice the day before; changed her flowers out to these new ones.

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Beautiful flowers, Jake. I know you must be really sad and lonely these days, and I'm sure it's hard to come to the forum where you see so many reminders of Marie. I hope someday you will read Marie's posts from before she got sick and they will bring a smile to your face instead of sadness. She was a little firecracker and I always imagined her scouting for vines in the woods, and dancing in the kitchen to classic rock.

How are the dogs? I'm sure they miss Marie, too. I'm glad you have them for a bit of company. Take care and check in when you're able. I'm not on Facebook so I won't see you there.
 
Beth Gallagher said:
Beautiful flowers, Jake. I know you must be really sad and lonely these days, and I'm sure it's hard to come to the forum where you see so many reminders of Marie. I hope someday you will read Marie's posts from before she got sick and they will bring a smile to your face instead of sadness. She was a little firecracker and I always imagined her scouting for vines in the woods, and dancing in the kitchen to classic rock.

How are the dogs? I'm sure they miss Marie, too. I'm glad you have them for a bit of company. Take care and check in when you're able. I'm not on Facebook so I won't see you there.
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i was going to ask the same question about Marie’s and Jake’s pets as well @Beth Gallagher as they grieve and miss their owners 😢

I recently re watched a film on Netflix we previously had on a video tape, it was about a dog who waited for his owner at a railway station for 9 years (Owner died at work) it’s a true story ..,..of many many years ago
 
Beth Gallagher said:
Beautiful flowers, Jake. I know you must be really sad and lonely these days, and I'm sure it's hard to come to the forum where you see so many reminders of Marie. I hope someday you will read Marie's posts from before she got sick and they will bring a smile to your face instead of sadness. She was a little firecracker and I always imagined her scouting for vines in the woods, and dancing in the kitchen to classic rock.

How are the dogs? I'm sure they miss Marie, too. I'm glad you have them for a bit of company. Take care and check in when you're able. I'm not on Facebook so I won't see you there.
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All true Beth, I am hanging on as best I can; been 22 days and for life of me feel lost as hell everywhere I go; out of place, and just don't feel right no matter what I do.It's day three that the flashbacks and memories doesn't make me cry. I've had puffy eyes for the last nine months. I hope everyone here can understand why I've not been posting here. With all the reminders everywhere I go it beats me to a pulp. Every time I tried to post here, rivers flowed. Neither of us were crier's, but the pain made her and seeing her in pain and little to nothing I could do, made me a wuss, and a half. Her last words are burnt into my mind forever. She woke me at 4 am, which for eight months I never got over 2 hours of sleep, every three or four days. I still cannot believe I kept going. It had to be God holding me up; because that makes no sense to me to be possible. But she woke me and said; my mouth is so dry, get me up. I said baby I don't think you can get up. Then held my arm out she grabbed it and pulled up to her elbow and was wobbly. and weak. Her voice was faint as well. I gave her two or three swallows of water and asked if she wanted one of the mint gum, she said yes. I broke one in half, she chewed it and then I threw it away. I was crying like a baby; I told I'm so sorry you're going through this; not wanting her to see me cry. She said; "it's nobody's fault". Last words she ever said, and she passed three days later at 3 pm, 7-11-2026.

I teared up some writing, but trying not too; if the flashbacks and crying slow down some, I think I will make it. I had some kind of cancer pop up on the right side of my head during the eight months caring for Marie, and couldn't do anything about it, for I wouldn't leave her for anything at that time. Since I have buried her I went to the dematologist, who gave me a full body exam, said I'm good from shoulders down but froze like twenty on my head, arms, hands and face, and did two biopsies. on my head; and told me it can be three weeks before we know what kind of cancer it is; then sending me to some surgeons she knows to have them cut the roots out.

I will try to come on more here; just been a hard road for me; I will never be the same; that I'm sure of. Again thank all of you for your kindness; especially to our Marie.:)


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Jake Smith said:
All true Beth, I am hanging on as best I can; been 22 days and for life of me feel lost as hell everywhere I go; out of place, and just don't feel right no matter what I do.It's day three that the flashbacks and memories doesn't make me cry. I've had puffy eyes for the last nine months. I hope everyone here can understand why I've not been posting here. With all the reminders everywhere I go it beats me to a pulp. Every time I tried to post here, rivers flowed. Neither of us were crier's, but the pain made her and seeing her in pain and little to nothing I could do, made me a wuss, and a half. Her last words are burnt into my mind forever. She woke me at 4 am, which for eight months I never got over 2 hours of sleep, every three or four days. I still cannot believe I kept going. It had to be God holding me up; because that makes no sense to me to be possible. But she woke me and said; my mouth is so dry, get me up. I said baby I don't think you can get up. Then held my arm out she grabbed it and pulled up to her elbow and was wobbly. and weak. Her voice was faint as well. I gave her two or three swallows of water and asked if she wanted one of the mint gum, she said yes. I broke one in half, she chewed it and then I threw it away. I was crying like a baby; I told I'm so sorry you're going through this; not wanting her to see me cry. She said; "it's nobody's fault". Last words she ever said, and she passed three days later at 3 pm, 7-11-2026.

I teared up some writing, but trying not too; if the flashbacks and crying slow down some, I think I will make it. I had some kind of cancer pop up on the right side of my head during the eight months caring for Marie, and couldn't do anything about it, for I wouldn't leave her for anything at that time. Since I have buried her I went to the dematologist, who gave me a full body exam, said I'm good from shoulders down but froze like twenty on my head, arms, hands and face, and did two biopsies. on my head; and told me it can be three weeks before we know what kind of cancer it is; then sending me to some surgeons she knows to have them cut the roots out.

I will try to come on more here; just been a hard road for me; I will never be the same; that I'm sure of. Again thank all of you for your kindness; especially to our Marie.:)


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Hugs to you Jake, I can not believe yet another thing has hit you at this time. Just know you are in our thoughts and welcome you at anytime .
 
It's good to hear from you @Jake Smith . Most of us can only imagine the sadness and loneliness you are going through, though several of our members have lost their spouses and know exactly how you are feeling. With time it will get better but you will always love and miss Marie. Though it's hard to come here and see her posts, I think someday you might like to re-read them.

I hate to hear that you have skin cancer and I hope the doctor was able to get it all. I hate cancer. Be sure to let us know how you are doing when you are able.

Oh, and get yourself one of those big, goofy straw hats to wear when you are working outside or on the tractor.
 
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