Affairs in Order? Check

One of the problems with not pre-paying or preparing for a funeral is that the survivor(s) are having to make decisions in the midst of immense loss, and there is a sense of wanting to do everything that you can possibly afford for your loved one, and often that’s more than they can actually afford. Others might be afraid to look cheap in the presence of other family members who might, or be perceived to be, wondering, why someone would choose the cheaper of a group of options, when the reality is that most people would probably want those they leave behind to have as much money as possible to carry on in their absence. I don't think most of us want our spouse or children to go broke so that we can rot in an expensive casket that no one will ever see again.
 
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I mentioned in another thread that we have to have a couple of updates to our wills. We are naming our oldest daughter as executor, replacing a brother-in-law who is showing signs of mental confusion. Also, we need to update youngest daughter's married name, which probably isn't critical but might as well be done. So basically two minor changes.

Our wills are basic; just the "surviving spouse inherits everything" unless we both die within a month's time. Then the estate is equally divided between our 5 children. I'm certain this is a "standard form" type will with a bunch of legalese tossed it so the lawyers can charge more for the service.

So I contacted the lawyer's office who originally drafted the wills in 2009 and they still have the records. Great! Just pull up that word processing file and change 2 names, then reprint. Here's the kicker; they will charge $600. Yes... $600 for about 4 minutes work. Honestly, this pissed me off a lot more than it should have... I mean, it is a lawyer after all. :poop:

So I told them "thanks but no thanks" and told my husband I can type the wills myself and we can go to the credit union and have the signatures witnessed and notarized for free. I don't feel like being ripped off today. "Not today Satan!"
 
Beth Gallagher said:
I want to be cremated so I have told the kids they can sprinkle me wherever they want. If I die before my husband, they can tuck my ashes into his casket so I can nag him for eternity, haha.

I'm certain that if my husband dies before me I will sell this house and move to an apartment of some kind. There's no way I can maintain a large house by myself and I don't know anything about the pool except for regular maintenance. I can toss chemicals in but I have no idea how to backwash the filter or any of that stuff.
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Love that - "Sprinkle me."
Reminds me of a friend I hadn't seen in a few years. I asked, "How are you doing?"
He said, "I'm circling the drain."
 
Beth Gallagher said:
I mentioned in another thread that we have to have a couple of updates to our wills. We are naming our oldest daughter as executor, replacing a brother-in-law who is showing signs of mental confusion. Also, we need to update youngest daughter's married name, which probably isn't critical but might as well be done. So basically two minor changes.

Our wills are basic; just the "surviving spouse inherits everything" unless we both die within a month's time. Then the estate is equally divided between our 5 children. I'm certain this is a "standard form" type will with a bunch of legalese tossed it so the lawyers can charge more for the service.

So I contacted the lawyer's office who originally drafted the wills in 2009 and they still have the records. Great! Just pull up that word processing file and change 2 names, then reprint. Here's the kicker; they will charge $600. Yes... $600 for about 4 minutes work. Honestly, this pissed me off a lot more than it should have... I mean, it is a lawyer after all. :poop:

So I told them "thanks but no thanks" and told my husband I can type the wills myself and we can go to the credit union and have the signatures witnessed and notarized for free. I don't feel like being ripped off today. "Not today Satan!"
Click to expand...
I contacted a lawyer for my will last year. He made an appointment for a week later. When I didn't get a call or e-mail from him to confirm, I called him the day before the appointment & he didn't seem interested.
I asked him, "Are you interested or not?"
He said, "No, I'm not." (He probably had a more-profitable case than mine)
I said, 'Wouldn't a phone call have been the decent thing to do?"
After I posted a Yelp review, he offered to do my will for free if I deleted the review.
I said, "No. You only became concerned after you saw my review. I'd rather pay for a competent attorney. And I feel it's more important to warn others. The review stays."

Aug 28, 2025
I contacted this firm on 8-25-25 to draft my will & spoke to Mr. Seff. He made an appointment for a consultation on 8-29-25 at 1:00 pm. Since I didn't hear from him, I phoned him the day before to verify the appointment. Good thing I did, because he said he was not interested. A phone call would have been the decent thing to do. Apparently, Mr. Seff has no respect for his clients' time. As others have experienced - unprofessional. Keep that in mind if you're considering his firm.
 
Tony Nathanson said:
I contacted a lawyer for my will last year. He made an appointment for a week later. When I didn't get a call or e-mail from him to confirm, I called him the day before the appointment & he didn't seem interested.
I asked him, "Are you interested or not?"
He said, "No, I'm not." (He probably had a more-profitable case than mine)
I said, 'Wouldn't a phone call have been the decent thing to do?"
After I posted a Yelp review, he offered to do my will for free if I deleted the review.
I said, "No. You only became concerned after you saw my review. I'd rather pay for a competent attorney. And I feel it's more important to warn others. The review stays."

Aug 28, 2025
I contacted this firm on 8-25-25 to draft my will & spoke to Mr. Seff. He made an appointment for a consultation on 8-29-25 at 1:00 pm. Since I didn't hear from him, I phoned him the day before to verify the appointment. Good thing I did, because he said he was not interested. A phone call would have been the decent thing to do. Apparently, Mr. Seff has no respect for his clients' time. As others have experienced - unprofessional. Keep that in mind if you're considering his firm.
Click to expand...
you go girl!
 
We went with a young local estate attorney to set up a trust. Our main concern is our sofa lion and an extensive collection of toys. There is of course no guarantee that wishes will be honored but there are enough bumps in the road to make following instructions interesting. Due to some unforeseen changes we do need a new beneficiary. Not an easy task but it has to be dealt with.
 
Beth Gallagher said:
I mentioned in another thread that we have to have a couple of updates to our wills. We are naming our oldest daughter as executor, replacing a brother-in-law who is showing signs of mental confusion. Also, we need to update youngest daughter's married name, which probably isn't critical but might as well be done. So basically two minor changes.

Our wills are basic; just the "surviving spouse inherits everything" unless we both die within a month's time. Then the estate is equally divided between our 5 children. I'm certain this is a "standard form" type will with a bunch of legalese tossed it so the lawyers can charge more for the service.

So I contacted the lawyer's office who originally drafted the wills in 2009 and they still have the records. Great! Just pull up that word processing file and change 2 names, then reprint. Here's the kicker; they will charge $600. Yes... $600 for about 4 minutes work. Honestly, this pissed me off a lot more than it should have... I mean, it is a lawyer after all. :poop:

So I told them "thanks but no thanks" and told my husband I can type the wills myself and we can go to the credit union and have the signatures witnessed and notarized for free. I don't feel like being ripped off today. "Not today Satan
Click to expand...

We have to update our will too with a couple of minor changes that won't take but a minute. It has been about 7 or 8 years since we did our Will. It costed us $500.00, which I thought was ridiculous for the amount of time that it took to update it.

It is good that you are getting your daughter’s name changed on the Will. I’m sure things may have changed a lot by now but, when my Dad died, he had never changed the Will from my maiden name to my married name. He had a small IRA account and I could not have access to it, since my married name wasn’t on it; only my maiden. My brother had no problem with his request, and he tried to tell the financial guy who I was, but no. I think the dude was pissed because we were closing out my dad’s account. I had to have my marriage license, driver’s license, and I think my birth certificate for proof, and I had to have a few papers notarized and witness. 😠
 
To an outsider wills may seem easy but the law has so many quirks that a small word can change everything. I recall something with real estate and spouse survivorship in Texas that made no sense to me.
 
I went to the local library about 25 years ago, copied a trust & instructions from Nolo Books, and might
have also copied one from the internet, then typed our own living trust, and had it notarized and recorded.
We also wrote our own wills, just for backups as they weren't necessary. When my spouse passed away
in 2013, which was quite a turbulent time, making the change at the recorder's office was quite easy.

Since then, making a new trust has been something that I need to do but am not sure how to proceed,
as I would need to determine who the beneficiaries were and who would be the executor of the trust.
We have no children, so I have no idea of who that might be, unless maybe neighbors, or other seniors
from the senior center that I go to once a week.
 
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