Affairs in Order? Check

[Beth Gallagher]

For the past several months my husband and I have been slowly getting all our ducks in a row in preparation for our approaching expiration dates. We have to change our wills since our current named executor (BIL) is showing signs of dementia. We have asked our oldest daughter to be executor since she is the most detail-oriented of the kids, so now we need to update the wills.

I have also started filling out a book I ordered from Amazon that is a "when I die" thing; it has everything from a bit of family tree to credit card numbers and passwords. I want it to be daughter's reference manual for any questions she might have when we aren't here to answer them.

And last but not least, we are going to go and pre-pay our funeral expenses. My parents and inlaws both did this and it was so convenient to not have to wonder if what we chose was what they wanted. They had pre-selected and paid for everything and I want to do that, too.

So what about you? Have you made any preparations for your check-out time? Maybe we can get ideas from each other about these matters.

 

[Marie Mallory]

For the past several months my husband and I have been slowly getting all our ducks in a row in preparation for our approaching expiration dates. We have to change our wills since our current named executor (BIL) is showing signs of dementia. We have asked our oldest daughter to be executor since she is the most detail-oriented of the kids, so now we need to update the wills.

I have also started filling out a book I ordered from Amazon that is a "when I die" thing; it has everything from a bit of family tree to credit card numbers and passwords. I want it to be daughter's reference manual for any questions she might have when we aren't here to answer them.

And last but not least, we are going to go and pre-pay our funeral expenses. My parents and inlaws both did this and it was so convenient to not have to wonder if what we chose was what they wanted. They had pre-selected and paid for everything and I want to do that, too.

So what about you? Have you made any preparations for your check-out time? Maybe we can get ideas from each other about these matters.

Right now we can't afford to die, spent too much on truck's, tractor's and animals, now the dentist will get whatever s left.
I have been looking into the ' future ' and did send my oldest granddaughter a cassette tape on family.

 

[Don Alaska]

We did redo our wills recently, but prepaying the funeral and the burial plot may be tough. We are not certain that we will stay here, and should I die first (which is the plan since I am a bit older), she may want to live somewhere warmer since she could not maintain this property alone. We also changed our co-executors for different reasons than yours.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

We did redo our wills recently, but prepaying the funeral and the burial plot may be tough. We are not certain that we will stay here, and should I die first (which is the plan since I am a bit older), she may want to live somewhere warmer since she could not maintain this property alone. We also changed our co-executors for different reasons than yours.

I want to be cremated so I have told the kids they can sprinkle me wherever they want. If I die before my husband, they can tuck my ashes into his casket so I can nag him for eternity, haha.

I'm certain that if my husband dies before me I will sell this house and move to an apartment of some kind. There's no way I can maintain a large house by myself and I don't know anything about the pool except for regular maintenance. I can toss chemicals in but I have no idea how to backwash the filter or any of that stuff.

 

[Bobby Cole]

I want to be cremated so I have told the kids they can sprinkle me wherever they want. If I die before my husband, they can tuck my ashes into his casket so I can nag him for eternity, haha.

I'm certain that if my husband dies before me I will sell this house and move to an apartment of some kind. There's no way I can maintain a large house by myself and I don't know anything about the pool except for regular maintenance. I can toss chemicals in but I have no idea how to backwash the filter or any of that stuff.

Make sure to tell your kids to keep your ashes away from the pool house and mark the urn….NOT good for balancing the PH.

As for myself, at some point I may make my own urn so Yvonne doesn’t have to pay for one or haul me out in a kitty litter box.
Other than that, Yvonne and her daughter already know what to do with whatever is left so all is good.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

Make sure to tell your kids to keep your ashes away from the pool house and mark the urn….NOT good for balancing the PH.

As for myself, at some point I may make my own urn so Yvonne doesn’t have to pay for one or haul me out in a kitty litter box.
Other than that, Yvonne and her daughter already know what to do with whatever is left so all is good.

Building an urn is a nice idea, Bobby. Personally I'm fine with the plastic bag/cardboard box until they have time to sprinkle me over the garden plot or in the back near Harry's grave.

 

[Shirley Martin]

They charge $100 for a cardboard box. I have a plain wood box that I got from Amazon. It is just the right size to hold ashes. I told my sons to put a picture of me on the top of it for the service. Then throw the box into the woods after they scatter the ashes so that it can go back to nature.

 

[Bobby Cole]

Here’s one I built for Yvonne’s 1st husband.

I couldn’t import the picture and my post won’t delete. Sorry…

 

[Krystal Shay]

We have a will but we haven’t contacted the laywer to updated it for several years. Nothing much would change on it but we should probably update it to keep it current, I suppose.

We both are going to be cremated and neither of us care about having any type of service or memorial, nor care what happens to our ashes.

We have written down account numbers, passwords, and anything else that we think of that would be of importance that we want family to know. I guess other things will have to be decided upon or updated as time goes on, if our health gets bad.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

One thing I thought to include in my notes are any accounts that "auto pay" and how they are paid. For instance, our electric bill is on balanced billing where we pay the same amount every month and the monthly payment is automatically drafted from the bank.

A few things such as garbage collection, streaming services, cable/internet are auto-paid by our Visa card (it pays rewards). We pay the Visa in full monthly, but it includes all those other bills. So we need to note these in the estate info so one of the kids doesn't duplicate payment on any of them. (Hope this makes sense.)

I also made a list of all subscriptions including cable, streaming services, lawn service, vehicle roadside assistance, etc. that will need to be canceled.

 

[Don Alaska]

I want to be cremated so I have told the kids they can sprinkle me wherever they want. If I die before my husband, they can tuck my ashes into his casket so I can nag him for eternity, haha.

I'm certain that if my husband dies before me I will sell this house and move to an apartment of some kind. There's no way I can maintain a large house by myself and I don't know anything about the pool except for regular maintenance. I can toss chemicals in but I have no idea how to backwash the filter or any of that stuff.

You could always hire a "Pool Boy" to help you out

 

[Beth Gallagher]

You could always hire a "Pool Boy" to help you out

I would more likely have the pool demolished and filled in. It's basically a water feature at this point anyhow.

 

[James Gale]

I'm planning on letting the provincial government bury me , Lord knows I have paid them enough taxes over the years lol

 

[Krystal Shay]

One thing I thought to include in my notes are any accounts that "auto pay" and how they are paid. For instance, our electric bill is on balanced billing where we pay the same amount every month and the monthly payment is automatically drafted from the bank.

A few things such as garbage collection, streaming services, cable/internet are auto-paid by our Visa card (it pays rewards). We pay the Visa in full monthly, but it includes all those other bills. So we need to note these in the estate info so one of the kids doesn't duplicate payment on any of them. (Hope this makes sense.)

I also made a list of all subscriptions including cable, streaming services, lawn service, vehicle roadside assistance, etc. that will need to be canceled.

Good idea! I didn't think about all the auto pay stuff.

 

[Mary Stetler]

For the past several months my husband and I have been slowly getting all our ducks in a row in preparation for our approaching expiration dates. We have to change our wills since our current named executor (BIL) is showing signs of dementia. We have asked our oldest daughter to be executor since she is the most detail-oriented of the kids, so now we need to update the wills.

I have also started filling out a book I ordered from Amazon that is a "when I die" thing; it has everything from a bit of family tree to credit card numbers and passwords. I want it to be daughter's reference manual for any questions she might have when we aren't here to answer them.

And last but not least, we are going to go and pre-pay our funeral expenses. My parents and inlaws both did this and it was so convenient to not have to wonder if what we chose was what they wanted. They had pre-selected and paid for everything and I want to do that, too.

So what about you? Have you made any preparations for your check-out time? Maybe we can get ideas from each other about these matters.

My first husband and I were romantics and planned to be buried in the same casket and then he went and died without me!!!
This husband is a romantic too and was planning a burial in a very lovely cemetary near here. But as the prices are now, I said I want a $600 cremation and he or the kids can put me anywhere they want. The way I see it, funerals are for the people left as we won't be here to enjoy them. Hubby was shocked that I would want that. I will let him chew on it for a while.
I have also suggested people pick between the manure pile and the mulch pile. I offered the same to my older brother but he is in New Hampshire and probably has his own mulch pile.
We made a will years ago but it is not quite right. And I was told that if you have an estate worth more than $50,000 the will is not enough and we need a trust. EVERYBODY who has a house has an estate that big. What a mess this will be and it will cost thousands to set it up right. My friend and lawyer died in 2020.
I vacillate between my oldest, who is worldly wise in the ways of the government, and my youngest who has superior common sense to be executor. Neither of them wants to be that. My family does not fight over money. When my dad died, my brother-in-law ratted on his wife about her buying a car for my mother who could not drive (but needed to be transported). No one cared. But BIL was a lawyer so probably worried about us suing the executor, his wife.
I had not thought of cancelling stuff or passwords. Hubby and I write passwords on all sorts of stuff. We know where they are but...
The kids will probably fight over who won't have to take the 1960 Buick.
One of my SILs is in the funeral business and has been bugging her ex to set up a pre paid funeral. Again, I offered a mulch pile. The funerary might go out of business by the time we use it, or other unforeseen things.

 

[Krystal Shay]

I agree @Mary Stetler, funerals are for the living. Some people need a funeral and visitation for closure, I suppose. We decided not to have a funeral service. Most people other than a few family members will generally forget about you 10 minutes after you are gone anyway. Life goes on.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

@Mary Stetler -- Not sure who told you an estate over $50k needs a trust; I have never heard that. No one I know has a trust. My MIL had a large estate (well over $50k) and no trust. If you have a legal witnessed will that should be sufficient.

I have told my children and spouse that I do not want a funeral, a viewing, NOTHING. Not even a notice in the newspaper. I don't care about any of that stuff at all, and I'd rather my children had that money instead of some funeral parlor. I will be cremated and my kids can have dinner together and make jokes about me.

 

[Mary Stetler]

@Mary Stetler -- Not sure who told you an estate over $50k needs a trust; I have never heard that. No one I know has a trust. My MIL had a large estate (well over $50k) and no trust. If you have a legal witnessed will that should be sufficient.

I have told my children and spouse that I do not want a funeral, a viewing, NOTHING. Not even a notice in the newspaper. I don't care about any of that stuff at all, and I'd rather my children had that money instead of some funeral parlor. I will be cremated and my kids can have dinner together and make jokes about me.

I am with you, kid.
We went to a seminar and the teacher was a lawyer (probably estate).
I think I will tell the youngest where all the treasure is buried and give hubby's house to the oldest and the farm to the youngest and both have to watch the middle together. Now all I have to figure out is how to have Dave kick off first.

I agree @Mary Stetler, funerals are for the living. Some people need a funeral and visitation for closure, I suppose. We decided not to have a funeral service. Most people other than a few family members will generally forget about you 10 minutes after you are gone anyway. Life goes on.

My husband's folks are from farm country. People drove distances for funerals, wakes, dinners. It was how far flung families came together. But the prices kept going up from big dinners in home to big dinners in restaurants and funeral parlor prices went insane.
I don't want anyone to come for me and mine. Some would be saddened by that.(or insulted)
I don't stay in contact with many and If I'd wanted to, I would before I died.
I am a curmudgeon.

 

[Don Alaska]

I was told by an estate planner that wills and trusts vary by state. He said it didn't make a big difference in Alaska because probate is quite simple and speedy. My wife was executor of her uncle's estate in Arizona, and a trust made a big difference there. Our eldest daughter and youngest son are-co-executors for us. As far as body disposal goes, I have always wanted to avoid cremation, as does wife. I don't cost factors in at all; I just don't like the thought of being burned up even if dead. Compost would be a good thing if it were practical. My ideal is to be buried and having a young tree planted over the carcass so I could help nourish a future generation with a small placard or stone saying who was buried there. So much of our genealogy work was done based on gravestone information, and I would like to make that available to future generations should there be some who care. My brother had his wife cremated and dumped half her ashes near the front steps with the ashes of their last dog, and spread the remainder over her favorite places. He wants to be done the same I think.

 

[Hedi Mitchell]

Yes, we have Wills that were done in Texas,suppose to be good here in Kansas. I have written notes about monthly expenses, bills and or invoices that are being paid on.We both will be cremated,and our remains are to be spread on he Gulf of Mexico, on family property. If that cant happen, then let us spread thru any part of Texas.
I have no intention of staying tin Ks, unless I am close to being on my way out anyway. He thinks he would sell all and go back home to Texas. All three girls are single and have been for long time. They rent and have no room.even if wanted to stay with one of them. One informed us years ago, we would go a good Home she could afford. She is not a caregiver.Hey shes least honest. .
Bottom line, most of what we want to happen- will not,for various reasons.
Tell me where I can post about the Nightmare Will and how 8 years later still waiting to close! It is a dozy.