"Tony" Thought Journal 3.0

Hi Tony, this is Jake. I know exactly what mean Tony, getting old is not for sissies. I've woke up choking twice and tingling all over and was about to pass out, Marie jumped up to try an help me, hurt herself and right before passing out I began to breathe. Maybe sleep apnea some Drs said it was, very scary. I hope yours is better today.❤️
Wow!!! Glad you came out of it okay that's very scary.

Chocking is a terrible experience. I've had a few experiences of choking on food because of the way I breathe. I have a bad habit of breathing in with food in my mouth and the food goes down the wrong pipe and blocks my breathing. My wife save me once by punching me in the gut I had no air coming in at all. I've had a couple episodes in the middle of a restaurant it's quite embarrassing. I am a mouth breather, I can't breathe through my nose it has polyps.

I've also had some chocking episodes at night while sleeping. I wake up in a panic, fortunately I was able to correct it quickly.

On another note: I want to send you guys my love there's not much else I can do you're in my heart and soul.
 
Wow!!! Glad you came out of it okay that's very scary.

Chocking is a terrible experience. I've had a few experiences of choking on food because of the way I breathe. I have a bad habit of breathing in with food in my mouth and the food goes down the wrong pipe and blocks my breathing. My wife save me once by punching me in the gut I had no air coming in at all. I've had a couple episodes in the middle of a restaurant it's quite embarrassing. I am a mouth breather, I can't breathe through my nose it has polyps.

I've also had some chocking episodes at night while sleeping. I wake up in a panic, fortunately I was able to correct it quickly.

On another note: I want to send you guys my love there's not much else I can do you're in my heart and soul.
Tony, Marie said that she didn't realize sleep apnea could be so dangerous and even deadly in rare cases, until she googled it.
 
I'm going to change my name to "slow motion." I'm at the other end of the spectrum from where I used to be. Whenever I'm doing physical activities seems I rest more than I do the activity. I'm using the word activity because I became too comfortable using the word work I don't consider gardening work because I enjoy it. The tendency is to look for a chair or a place to sit when the pain in the muscles in the back reach the point where it's unbearable. Sometimes I try to push, and try to keep going just to finish as much as I could. That's when the heart starts pounding a little harder and my breath becomes shorter so I have no choice but to sit. I'll sit for 10 or 15 minutes until the pain subsides a little and the ❤️ heart start beating normally. Then I'll start the cycle over again only this time I reach the unbearable pain quicker. I must say wearing a Salonpas lidocaine patch does help, but I'm in such a hurry to get out and start getting things done while my back feels okay I forget to put it on. I have to clarify that, there is always pain, but there are different levels and sometimes it's bearable.

I have found some things I can do while gardening while sitting in a chair. whenever I can accomplish something by just sitting in a chair I will do it.

I'm debating whether to go out and do some things I want to get accomplished. We had rain most of the morning it stopped now, but I feel like I'm a little tired so I might start fresh in the morning.

I don't know how many tomorrows I got left, but I still think "there's always tomorrow."
 
I'm going to change my name to "slow motion." I'm at the other end of the spectrum from where I used to be. Whenever I'm doing physical activities seems I rest more than I do the activity. I'm using the word activity because I became too comfortable using the word work I don't consider gardening work because I enjoy it. The tendency is to look for a chair or a place to sit when the pain in the muscles in the back reach the point where it's unbearable. Sometimes I try to push, and try to keep going just to finish as much as I could. That's when the heart starts pounding a little harder and my breath becomes shorter so I have no choice but to sit. I'll sit for 10 or 15 minutes until the pain subsides a little and the ❤️ heart start beating normally. Then I'll start the cycle over again only this time I reach the unbearable pain quicker. I must say wearing a Salonpas lidocaine patch does help, but I'm in such a hurry to get out and start getting things done while my back feels okay I forget to put it on. I have to clarify that, there is always pain, but there are different levels and sometimes it's bearable.

I have found some things I can do while gardening while sitting in a chair. whenever I can accomplish something by just sitting in a chair I will do it.

I'm debating whether to go out and do some things I want to get accomplished. We had rain most of the morning it stopped now, but I feel like I'm a little tired so I might start fresh in the morning.

I don't know how many tomorrows I got left, but I still think "there's always tomorrow."
I can identify with your issues @Tony Page. Sometimes a grow table will allow you to work from a chair. I know that if I didn't have my wife to do the "low work", I would be unable to do much in-the-ground gardening. Our greenhouses contain tables that make it easy do work standing up, and we have moved a lot of gardening into containers outside, and that helps as well. When my MIL was in a nursing home, we had high raised beds built for her so that she could continue her passion for gardening on a small scale when she was over 100.
 
Ok,I'm saying this but I will deny it later.
I understand pushing yourself. I think I run on anger and WILL GET IT DONE!!! Until a couple of years ago. It was hot and we had a lot of Canadian thistles in the sheep pasture. Not just bull thistles. I set a goal to dig/pull them all so I would not poison my animals. It was hot in July but I gave myself a time limit and on the last day I could not quit. I think I got heat stroke or close to it. I could barely make it back to the barn. I never felt like that before. I got all the thistles but then I could not walk out of the barn. I just leaned there, 90 ft to the next door and then 15 feet to my car. Maybe the longest walk in my life.
It proved that even I could not do everything. I've lifted my lawn tractor out of a ditch, carried my husband over the threshold... But now I can't climb the antenna tower or even work a whole day in the field.
I still need to keep going even when people suggest I ride on one of those electric shopping carts in the stores cuz if I quit totally, I know that will be the end.
 
Ok,I'm saying this but I will deny it later.
I understand pushing yourself. I think I run on anger and WILL GET IT DONE!!! Until a couple of years ago. It was hot and we had a lot of Canadian thistles in the sheep pasture. Not just bull thistles. I set a goal to dig/pull them all so I would not poison my animals. It was hot in July but I gave myself a time limit and on the last day I could not quit. I think I got heat stroke or close to it. I could barely make it back to the barn. I never felt like that before. I got all the thistles but then I could not walk out of the barn. I just leaned there, 90 ft to the next door and then 15 feet to my car. Maybe the longest walk in my life.
It proved that even I could not do everything. I've lifted my lawn tractor out of a ditch, carried my husband over the threshold... But now I can't climb the antenna tower or even work a whole day in the field.
I still need to keep going even when people suggest I ride on one of those electric shopping carts in the stores cuz if I quit totally, I know that will be the end.
That's amazing, you have the fortitude and determination because your a responsible person so you push yourself. I understand but I also understand that at our age, we have to be careful. I shouldn't talk because I take chances and don't always make the smartest choices. I've had days where I decided to push myself barely make it back into the house, I feel good because I accomplished something, but I'm shot for 2 days after. My body won't let me do anything physical until it's ready.

I've often thought how it would be if I dropped doing gardening, which I love, and instead read a book or play tiddlywinks. I'd rather collapse with a shovel in my hand then a book.
 
I'm sure I have told this before, but being old I will just tell it again. When my mother was in failing health she would drag a folding aluminum lawn chair around the yard to sit down and hoe her flowerbeds. She loved gardening more than anything. My older brother was always nagging her to "go sit inside out of the heat and rest."

I pulled him aside on one occasion and told him to zip it and leave her alone. Mama would have preferred falling over dead in her petunias to sitting inside, looking longingly out the window.
 
On a whim I decided to look up on the internet the percentage of people still alive who were born the same year I was which was 1943. This is what I got:

Men: Approximately 45% to 50% of males born in 1943 are alive at age 83.

Women: Approximately 55% to 60% of females born in 1943 are alive at age 83.

It feels kind of odd thinking that half of my friends that I grew up with are probably gone. Unfortunately when I moved out from Brooklyn I never stayed in contact with my friends, Communications was difficult, not like today with text messaging and emails.

If you're interested in seeing the % for your year just type into Google "what percentage of the population born in 19--- is still alive in 2026."
 
I'm in Urgent Care right now waiting for the doctor. About 6 weeks ago I scraped the lower part of my left leg. Now the area of redness looks a lot larger and the wound is open. My wife has been pushing me to get it checked out to make sure it's not infected so here I am.

so far I've had an x-ray, tetanus shot, and they want me to do a Doppler. I just want to go home.
I am getting a prescription for antibiotics.

Waiting for the paperwork so I can leave.
 
They prescribed an antibiotic ointment and oral antibiotic. The X-ray and the Doppler came out fine, normal, no problem.

The only thing that's abnormal is my brain, they said there's no cure for that I'm hopelessly gone. Haha

I told them the reason it's red and not healing is I continually bang it. My wife is happy that I got it all checked out, I could have been using that time to play with my plants. This was exhausting I'm going to take a nap maybe when I get up I'll be able to start doing something that I had planned on today.
 
Went to CVS to get my prescriptions and they only had the oral antibiotic Cephalexin. I was in the Drive-Thru at the time when I question why I didn't get the antibiotic ointment Centany, they kept repeating that I had no refills, I didn't understand this, being this was the first time I was getting this medicine. I left to call the pharmacist rather than hold up the line, I decided to go home and see if I can figure out what the heck is going on. After a few tries to talk to a pharmacist I left my number for a call back. about an hour later I did get a call back from the CVS pharmacist, and they explained that my insurance company does not cover that Centany ointment they kind of implies because of the cost so there must be an alternative that's just as good but less expensive. I was told to go back to my doctor and see if she can call the insurance company to get the prescription approved or give me another prescription with a lesser charge antibiotic ointment. I have not been able to get in touch with the doctor the line I call keeps hanging up after a few minutes.
I shouldn't be surprised this is the kind of runaround I've had before and I'm sure if I live long enough I'll have it again.

Rather than pursue a prescription ointment I'm thinking of buying the over counter triple antibiotic ointment.

this has been too much excitement for me for one day. Tomorrow is another day hopefully.
 
@Beth Gallagher
That's a good idea using my chart. They did send me a link by text and it went to a listing of my prescriptions that's it no doctor name not even saying it came from Urgent Care. Yesterday was strange because in the past before I left there facility, I was given paperwork with their results, doctor's name and tons of information that I would never need. I got nothing yesterday.

I did finally contact them I went back online and looked the phone number up again this time I got a different number it went right through to them. I think the number I was using was for a central location for all the urgent cares in the area.

The pharmacist had already contacted them to get insurance approval for the drug they prescribed. I asked them about it they didn't seem to be interested in going through the hassle of getting an approval. When I asked them to prescribe a different medication they said I can just buy Bacitracin over the counter and not to buy Neosporin, they said it could irritate the wound. I wonder if they would have ever contacted me with this information if I didn't call.

Today my wife has a cardiologist appointment, so we will pick up the Bacitracin while we're out.

Today is my grandkids last day of school they will be home for the summer break. I'm hoping to go on at least one outing with them this year.
 
This came to mind this morning.

A SENIORS ACHES

When I awake
Feels like my back wants to break
It's my forever pain
No surgery they explain
No point to complain
Most times it's in vain
Today my hip has a strong ache
Two pills and it'll be a piece of cake
Yesterday it was a weird pain in my knee
Move it back and forth slowly that's the key
Seems okay for now to me
But there's never a guarantee
Last week tried carrying three cement blocks in a row
What else! I dropped one on my toe
It didn't break the skin
I take that as a win
I just have to move the wrong way
My muscles make me pay
My grandkids and I are at play
I know I'll feel it the next day
I was sitting comfortably outdoors in my favorite chair
With little pain I wanted to stay there
I sat and sat it was good
Time was up so I stood
I couldn't stop the forward motion
I fell it created quite a commotion
I thought Here I Go Again
but then
It's just another day in a seniors life
I'm thinking I can do without the strife


Tony Page
06/26/26
 
Back
Top