Philosophical Meanderings

Ken Anderson

Ken Anderson

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Staff member
I don't mean for this thread to become a place for jokes or a repository for memes or things you've found on Facebook.

You don't have to hold a doctorate in philosophy to have philosophical thoughts, and if you're anything like me, you've found that you're having more of them now that you're no longer pursuing a hundred other things that seemed important at the time.

As I grow older and so many people in my life whom I had taken for granted have died or otherwise moved on without me, I have come to realize that so many of the things that I spent my life seeking don't matter nearly as much as relationships.

By relationships, I mean relationships with family or with people who really matter to you, and to whom you matter, or may once have mattered.

There were times in my life when I labeled anyone who I enjoyed being with, and who seemed to enjoy spending time with me, as friends, but the majority of these weren't people who would visit me when I was in the hospital, call to check on me if they hadn't seen me in a while, or keep in touch after one of us had moved.

When I say this, I am not criticizing these people because I have been that to others. We were acquaintances, not friends, and while there's nothing wrong with acquaintances, they don't really matter in your life.

As I grow older, I have come to realize, often too late, that I haven't always acted as if the people who really mattered in my life mattered. I took them for granted, or assumed they'd always be there when I found time for them again.

This was no great epiphany; rather, it has been something that has hit me over the head when, one by one, so many of those who have meant the most to me are no longer here, either through death or because one or the other of us simply got too busy with things that didn't really matter in the long run, and we left each other behind.
 
I think it possible people out grow each other, and tend to move on. People I knew in my younger days ,20's, I would not associate with today. Sometime an acquaintance turns out to be friend later on in life.
Have you ever met someone, talked , maybe did things with them and other people, then moved on, and then much later on
see that person and they tell you, you made an impact on their life from something you had said?
Amazing.
 
Good morning to all-

Yes, yes, and a thousand times yes.

I have many times had people I worked with in the past come up to me- often in the most unexpected places and times- and they will tell me that I said or did something that helped them. It is most rewarding.

Of course, I had an advantage, don't you see? I was a public school teacher for many years, and helping other people was the basis of my work. I had a lot of chances to help others in my daily work.

But it still feels vey good when I get a recognition and word of gratitude.

you all be safe and keep well- Ed
 
I made few close friends in my life. And for the most part, I kept in contact with them. Even if only Christmas or birthday cards. But they have dwindled in number as they have passed on. It has been very sad. The few close by I see occasionally and can call when I need to or must go our for lunch. I am lucky to have immediate family close by but they are not quite friends.
But I mentioned to one of my true buds that we need to make new friends as the old leave our circle or we will be left in the circle alone.
The distractions of the internet makes that seem less important. Or that God seems less important. But in the end it is even more important.
As we get older we may not be able to help others as we used to to bridge into friendships. But in aldi's yesterday a voice called from behind me from church with a thought on how I could help with a new small social program she is starting that I actually can do.
I watched a yt about how ecumenical churches are not really Christian. It named a few. But if we follow the Two Great Commandments: Love God and Love our neighbor, at Christ's behest we will be Christians even without a traditional religion. And friends will follow if we do it without thought of personal gain.
But if I sit here drinking coffee all day, not a lot will happen.
; )
 
Unless you have lost a sibling or close family member early in life, it is likely that, like me, you have taken your brothers and sisters for granted, in that, if you had moved away from the area, you could visit them anytime. I loved my brothers, but we spoke by phone once every year or two, and I would make it back home every few years, but of course, they also had lives of their own, although they still lived in the UP of Michigan, whereas I have lived in Iowa, California, Texas, North Carolina, and Maine, and haven't lived in the UP since before I turned eighteen. Now, two of my four brothers are gone, and the ones who remain are older than me.

Slightly related, I was living in California when my father died. I wasn't anticipating his death, but fortunately, I had flown back to Michigan to visit with him not long before he died. After the funeral, of course, I went back to California. For a long time, although I knew better, I often found myself thinking that I could fly home to see my dad anytime I wanted to. Being removed, his death wasn't as solid as was my mother's death, which I had to live with every day.

By the way, this thread can be used for any philosophical thoughts you might have.
 
Attempting to stay within the vein of thought thus far, I too have a lot of “shoulda’s, woulda’s and coulda’s” with a grand mass of shouldn’t have’s that often plague me to find the answer to the philosophical question of, why?
Why did I not do this or why did I not respond to that, why did I quit, or why did I choose one rationale over another?

Whether things turned out badly or for the good or still in the blossoming process toward whatever fruit it bears, the answers to all the whys are getting more and more allusive as my life gets shorter or maybe, I just quit looking for those answers as much.

Perhaps, recognizing that “it is what it is and it was as it was” can be the more psychologically compelling meat that quiets the troubled heart at times.
Or…..on the philosophical end, perhaps not. Perhaps “it is what it is” is insistent upon us asking why is it that it is? Dunno.
 
I don't have many "deep thoughts" but I spend a lot of time mentally reviewing my past and regretting choices I have made. Of course that is pointless since the past can't be changed... and it's probably best that it can't. I find it very depressing to consider that I seem to have stopped looking forward to things and seem to mostly look back. I don't know why getting older has to be so depressing on so many levels.
 
This is something I read in Reader's Digest many years ago. I typed it and printed it out. I hung it on my fridge and still read it once in a while. It's the philosophy that I live by.

Desiderata - Things to be Desired

By Max Ehrmann (1926)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
Even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
For the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals,
And everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labours and aspirations,
In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

There are two things that I have done that I deeply regret having done. Both of them deeply hurt someone. I was able to apologize to one and ask her forgiveness. She kindly forgave me. The other, I was never able to ask forgiveness. I beat myself up for a long time over those. But then I read somewhere, "Would you forgive somebody else for the same thing?" Yes. So, forgive yourself for them just as you would forgive others.
 
Beth Gallagher said:
I don't have many "deep thoughts" but I spend a lot of time mentally reviewing my past and regretting choices I have made. Of course that is pointless since the past can't be changed... and it's probably best that it can't. I find it very depressing to consider that I seem to have stopped looking forward to things and seem to mostly look back. I don't know why getting older has to be so depressing on so many levels.
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Uh-Huh. Kinda like driving a car whilst looking through the little rear-view mirror 90% of the time and the Big window up front where our future is laid out 10% of the time.(or some such).

As a side, the philosophical premise attached to our actions almost demand that at some point, we’re going to regret our choices. Win or lose, whether good or bad, the choices we made come with a somewhat fragile baggage claim marked with the word regret.
No matter which fork in the road we took, we’re always going to regret not at least looking more closely at the other road.
 
Shirley Martin said:
There are two things that I have done that I deeply regret having done. Both of them deeply hurt someone. I was able to apologize to one and ask her forgiveness. She kindly forgave me. The other, I was never able to ask forgiveness. I beat myself up for a long time over those. But then I read somewhere, "Would you forgive somebody else for the same thing?" Yes. So, forgive yourself for them just as you would forgive others.
Click to expand...

I also have two things that are major regrets. One of them deeply hurt someone who did not deserve it, and my apology seemed inadequate even to me.

The other deeply hurt me but I allowed it to happen. I am still bitter over that and I guess I always will be.
 
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