On Death & Dying

[Ken Anderson]

I'm going to post this here rather than in the health section because we can always talk about our specific health problems there. I thought it might be helpful, informative, and reasonable to have a thread that discusses the subject of death and dying, our own and those around us.

There ain't any of us getting any younger, and many of you are older than I am. While I don't think I am going to die anytime soon, two of my brothers probably didn't think they were going to either until not long before they did, and it's likely that we've all lost a large percentage of the people who were the most important to us throughout our lives. Even as a forum family, we've lost many good people since 2015.

While it's not a happy subject, it is one of our life's challenges.

I don't have anything profound to say on the subject at the moment, but I have been thinking about many of those who have gone before me, and others who don't have long. I haven't been logging into my Facebook page much lately, although I am going to try to remember to do so more often, not to post political stuff as I once did, but to keep up with family and co-workers. I just learned that another of my first cousins, a younger brother of one of my best childhood friends, probably doesn't have long left. I lost my younger brother a few years ago, and he was five years younger than me. I still hope to sell my land in Maine and move back to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan before I die, but so many of the people I grew up with there have already passed.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

I think about death and dying more than I used to; each birthday reminds me that my personal expiration date is getting closer. I worry that my husband will die first and I'll be alone, then I worry that I will die first and who will take care of him.

I know that death is inevitable, and my biggest fear is how I will die--will I be afraid, will I suffer. It kind of reminds me of when I was pregnant with my first baby. I knew I had to go through childbirth but it was terrifying to consider. I remember telling my husband at the hospital, "I don't want to do this; please take me home." Some things in life are simply unavoidable, and sadly, death is one of those things.

I had the same reaction to chemo. Once they hooked up the IV and plugged the needle into the port in my chest I felt sheer terror. I told the nurse, "I don't want to do this. I can't do this." She patted my hand and covered me with a blanket.

I hope I can face death with dignity. And I hope it won't be terrible.

 

[Connie Bennett]

Except to stay above ground to see my last horse laid to rest, I don’t fret over it for myself. I have already lost nearly everyone that matters.

My dad, my son, my husband in that order in the month of April, in separate years . My father-in-law and my SIL’s mom in May, and the list keeps going. The year my son passed, we lost so many people, it got to where everyone was afraid to pick up their phone.

I’ve lost them in an instant, I’ve watched them get eaten away by some insidious disease. It all sucks. It all makes for two very bad months in the year for me.

I was raised not to be a complainer, so I try not to. It explains why I am not a fluffy/petting type person, nor do I expect to be pet, but I do try to offer sympathy and empathy. I find I am better off not saying anything, at least on these senior forums, because I am new. I get it because I have been a member of a horse forum for 18 of its 20 years of existence and one is treated much differently when they’re a charter member vs. a new kid on the block.

I have a strong Christian faith. I am 79. I am so fortunate to have all my faculties, but I do have my own health issues that wear me out almost before I start my day. When my clock runs out, it runs out. All I ask () is to be able to manage each day and see my last horse to his end time because him going down the road in a slaughter trailer is not something he deserves.

I have a pretty tight Will that includes what happens to my horse & dogs, if I cash in first. Best I can hope for is everyone surrounding me respects my wishes for my animals.