@Jake Smith I am not too good with fluffy adjectives, but I hope you know you folks are in my prayers .
I am repeating myself when I say I took care of my husband when he got too sick to take care of himself. He was a very strong willed, individual and more often than not, would not listen to anything I had to say, and sometimes not even his doctor. Like when he initially was diagnosed with prostate cancer that had metastasized, they wanted to start him on traditional treatments, and he refused simply because he was afraid of losing his hair. Instead, he went on experimental drug treatments that as far as I’m concerned, didn’t do one thing to help him. They may help the next person, but all my husband did was spin backward and not make any progress at all. I tell you that because it is something to think long and hard about if it is offered to your wife.
Toward the last few weeks of his time on earth, he would confess to me that he was afraid he really mucked that one up by refusing the traditional treatments.
I don’t understand why your local doctors are playing roulette with your wife’s health in terms of not giving her what she needs or delaying her appointment with an oncologist. Everything I read is not at all the way things were for my husband. Maybe it’s different with prostate cancer because the diagnosis was quickly based on his PSA numbers and from that point forward, which involve 4 to 5 years, he only saw the oncologist at one of the two cancer treatment centers, that are both within 15 miles of our home.
There are no pain meds that worked for him. He was very drug sensitive and any of the oxy-whatever drugs sent him on LSD trips that I would have to wake him up out of, or he would be awake and not go back to sleep for a few days. The best thing that worked for his drug sensitive person was sometimes Tylenol, sometimes ibuprofen. It would just depend. He never mixed them.
Eating became an exercise in futility —- he got to where he did not want to eat anything because nothing tasted good. I was doing good to get a bottle of high calorie or high protein Boost down him once or twice a week.
I am thinking it was probably his last six months that he resorted to morphine IV drips. He got them two days weekly and they helped him.
You are your wife’s caregiver and also the caretaker of your property. You can’t complete every task at hand during this time, so carefully pick your battles as far as the home & property go. Hopefully your children can pitch in.. My only family is my brother who lives ten hours away, I was pretty much on my own, so I know from where I speak that it is all exhausting both mentally and physically. Best you can do is stay drill sergeant organized, eat as healthy as possible, and step back to take things one heartbeat at a time when everything seems overwhelming because it will occasionally.
I hope I haven’t offended you with my straightforwardness.
Don’t give up. Every day is worth it.
