Because my first career was as a Funeral Director/Embalmer I personally attended and directed several hundred funerals but only a few were people I knew, my wife, my father in law/ my employers son.
I only attend funerals if not doing so would result in a scandal. Thus, I have attended only the funerals of my parents, and those of a few coworkers and employees who were killed while on duty as EMTs or paramedics.
In this order, family in bold Adds up to 14 1970s -Friend in high school (died in her sleep) -Friend in high school (she suicided) -Father 1980s -Friend on bowling team -Friend on dart team (he suicided) 2000-2009 -Older Brother -Brother-in-law -Mother 2010-2019 -Neighbor's mother -Pastor's wife -Neighbor's cousin, also a friend of mine -Pastor -Younger Brother 2020+ -Friend from church I feel as though I'm leaving somebody out.
Now many? Not sure. 5? 6? 7? 12? I dunno. But I do know that I do not want a funeral for myself, so that is one I will gladly avoid.
I attended one funeral, as a kid. My grandfather was in the box, and I was told to look at him. I was four. He looked grotesque, to me, even though I'm sure he looked like a "usual embalmed dead person," to the adults. I vowed to never attend any other funerals, and I haven't. The funeral business is a huge rip-off, and takes advantage of people at their most vulnerable.
My SIL and her cousin, were totally shocked when I told them that, from what I remember, have never/ever been to a funeral. 99% of the time, it was because I couldn't financially go..........the funeral was way out of state. Due to finances, and being states away, wife and I didn't go to her mother's funeral or her BIL funeral. Neither did my wife's brother, for the same two reasons. However, we did watch a funeral, on our desktop, of two friends of ours. It was the "closed casket" type due to both be murdered by the daughters ex-husband with a shotgun. We just signed up with the Neptune Society for cremation and burial next to my wife's son and mother. It cost us, but they sure take care of everything!
My mother's parents an aunt my mother my sister's close coworker/friend died of COVID. I got to know her. My sister didn't have transportation and I said I would take her.
An aunt, 1950's My grandfather, 1980's A memorial service for a person I worked with. The last one is a popular thing here now, often scheduled at a later date, so people have more time to make plans to gather. I guess you would call that a funeral.
I've left instructions in writing and in various places that when my day comes, likely in bed, I will be wrapped in the sheets and blankets as I am, and put in a cloth bag and rushed to the local cemetery that prohibits anything that won't allow the old "Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust" thing, and be under as soon as the hole can be dug. If friends and family choose to gather afterwards for a beer and such, fine. I know that there's some paper work required, and I've tried to streamline that too.
I have been to many funerals over the years; I don't know exactly how many between family, friends, and coworkers. The most memorable were my parents' funerals and more recently, my older brother.
I attended another one earlier today. It was for a man I worked at a home repair non-profit with. I'm actually surprised I've been to so many. I never reflected on it before.
Your comment reminded me of the phrase "Final expenses." That always pi$$ed me off, since we can't just dig a hole in the back yard ourselves (or fire up the bbq pit.) It slaps us in the face with the inevitability of modern life (and death) being a cash proposition.
My mother thought young kids should not have to go to funerals for that very reason. I sure never forgot the first one. I was about 8. But it was my aunt, who I really didn't know very well, so it was a little different.