How I Found SOC!

Tony Page

Tony Page

Well-known member
About 5 years ago I went through a phase of feeling lonely no one to talk to. Not because of a personality change and people were just staying away, it was age. Except for my wife all the family and friends I would communicate and share time with we're gone I was "The Last of the Mohicans." I outlived them.

My wife can be a good listener, however we're not always on the same wavelength.

The people who understood me were gone. Now I have all these ideas and thoughts looking to bust out of my small brain. I had no idea how to solve this, should I look for new friends? I was never one to be a social butterfly. I thought about going to senior events run by the town but it was not a good fit for me. I wasn't looking to go on trips or play cards or bingo. I felt I needed an outlet.

I Started thinking that all I want to do is talk to someone. I never realized the internet hosted all kinds of a chat rooms, including chat rooms for seniors.

After reviewing numerous senior chat rooms, the one that seems more comfortable to me was Seniors Only Club.

" What's the worst that can happen? if I don't like it I quit, if they don't like me they kick me off."

It took a day for me to try and join. When I first went on site I felt intimidated. What was I supposed to do, I felt like a fish out of the water. I realize much later I should do an introduction. To be honest I don't know if I ever did.

After all this time I still feel like a rookie. Knowing the right thing to say sometimes it's hard to find words. When I'm not sure what to say, I think of the song "I gotta be me."

What's your story what made you join?
 
Tony Page said:
About 5 years ago I went through a phase of feeling lonely no one to talk to. Not because of a personality change and people were just staying away, it was age. Except for my wife all the family and friends I would communicate and share time with we're gone I was "The Last of the Mohicans." I outlived them.

My wife can be a good listener, however we're not always on the same wavelength.

The people who understood me were gone. Now I have all these ideas and thoughts looking to bust out of my small brain. I had no idea how to solve this, should I look for new friends? I was never one to be a social butterfly. I thought about going to senior events run by the town but it was not a good fit for me. I wasn't looking to go on trips or play cards or bingo. I felt I needed an outlet.

I Started thinking that all I want to do is talk to someone. I never realized the internet hosted all kinds of a chat rooms, including chat rooms for seniors.

After reviewing numerous senior chat rooms, the one that seems more comfortable to me was Seniors Only Club.

" What's the worst that can happen? if I don't like it I quit, if they don't like me they kick me off."

It took a day for me to try and join. When I first went on site I felt intimidated. What was I supposed to do, I felt like a fish out of the water. I realize much later I should do an introduction. To be honest I don't know if I ever did.

After all this time I still feel like a rookie. Knowing the right thing to say sometimes it's hard to find words. When I'm not sure what to say, I think of the song "I gotta be me."

What's your story what made you join?
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We're always here for you @Tony Page ! I was directed here by Ken form another forum we were both on that closed. Except for the time I lost my computer to the earthquake. I have ben here ever since except when this forum was closed.
 
I was a member of a Senior's Forum a handful of years back, but walked away from it due to the immaturity of a few. Not forgetting how much I enjoyed being involved with a forum with other like-minded and same age (in and around) folks, I remained on the hunt for a replacement, and one day while typing in Seniors Forums, this forum came up and the rest is history.
 
I have belonged to many forums over the years, so I was no stranger to blabbing with strangers. When I'd buy a car, get a new hobby, want a recipe, etc. I usually turned to forums long before Youtube and Facebook were a thing. I had tried "another" senior forum and made several friends there, but the vibe of the place was pretty liberal especially back when political discussions were allowed.

That forum went through some changes (back in 2016-18), politics were outlawed, and the admin had a "my way or the highway" attitude and was heavy-handed with permanent bans. Lots of people were banned from there for ridiculous reasons, including Frank, Lon, and Hal who all ended up here. Nancy also posted there during that time (she was not banned.)

So I started searching for other senior forums and found SOC. I joined but it was a few months before I started posting. The small active membership here made it seem like a tight-knit group of friends and I wasn't sure how a new poster would fit in, but I need not have worried. I am glad to have found a more conservative-leaning group to socialize with.
 
I was part of a seniors' forum that also included @Yvonne Smith, @Bobby Cole, and others who joined the last iteration of this forum. When the administrator announced he was closing it, I asked about acquiring the domain, but he wasn't willing to sell it. So I started the Seniors Only Club, and I am very pleased that you all joined, especially those who returned after a long hiatus.

Like @Tony Page, and, I suppose, many other seniors, I have also found that most of the people I had once spent time visiting with are gone now, and those who are still among the living don't get out much anymore. Many of those whom I had considered friends twenty years or more ago were people I met when I was more engaged with politics, but, while I still have a passing interest in politics, I am no longer so naive as to believe that there is anything I can do to make things better, so I enjoy having conversations about other things.
 
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Ken Anderson said:
I was part of a seniors' forum that also included @Yvonne Smith, @Bobby Cole, and some others who became part of the last iteration of this forum. When the administrator announced he was closing it, I asked about acquiring the domain, but he wasn't willing to sell it. So I started the Seniors Only Club, and I am very pleased that you all joined, especially those who returned after a long hiatus.
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So happy you started this forum, Ken!

Thank you for it!
 
Ken Anderson said:
I was part of a seniors' forum that also included @Yvonne Smith, @Bobby Cole, and others who joined the last iteration of this forum. When the administrator announced he was closing it, I asked about acquiring the domain, but he wasn't willing to sell it. So I started the Seniors Only Club, and I am very pleased that you all joined, especially those who returned after a long hiatus.

Like @Tony Page, and, I suppose, many other seniors, I have also found that most of the people I had once spent time visiting with are gone now, and those who are still among the living don't get out much anymore. Many of those whom I had considered friends twenty years or more ago were people I met when I was more engaged with politics, but, while I still have a passing interest in politics, I am no longer so naive as to believe that there is anything I can do to make things better, so I enjoy having conversations about other things.
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Ken
I too appreciate SOC, thank you for keeping it running.
 
Tony Page said:
About 5 years ago I went through a phase of feeling lonely no one to talk to. Not because of a personality change and people were just staying away, it was age. Except for my wife all the family and friends I would communicate and share time with we're gone I was "The Last of the Mohicans." I outlived them.

My wife can be a good listener, however we're not always on the same wavelength.

The people who understood me were gone. Now I have all these ideas and thoughts looking to bust out of my small brain. I had no idea how to solve this, should I look for new friends? I was never one to be a social butterfly. I thought about going to senior events run by the town but it was not a good fit for me. I wasn't looking to go on trips or play cards or bingo. I felt I needed an outlet.

I Started thinking that all I want to do is talk to someone. I never realized the internet hosted all kinds of a chat rooms, including chat rooms for seniors.

After reviewing numerous senior chat rooms, the one that seems more comfortable to me was Seniors Only Club.

" What's the worst that can happen? if I don't like it I quit, if they don't like me they kick me off."

It took a day for me to try and join. When I first went on site I felt intimidated. What was I supposed to do, I felt like a fish out of the water. I realize much later I should do an introduction. To be honest I don't know if I ever did.

After all this time I still feel like a rookie. Knowing the right thing to say sometimes it's hard to find words. When I'm not sure what to say, I think of the song "I gotta be me."

What's your story what made you join?
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Tony I think we all have a little problem getting to know what helps us, so far sometimes its strangers although we need and love those close to us, they don't always know what to do.
Yet they think they have the ansers for us.
This anxiety is bad on us and our loved ones.
Most physical pain can be somewhat controlled, but the mental pain is harder, for me anyway.
 
Marie Mallory said:
Tony I think we all have a little problem getting to know what helps us, so far sometimes its strangers although we need and love those close to us, they don't always know what to do.
Yet they think they have the ansers for us.
This anxiety is bad on us and our loved ones.
Most physical pain can be somewhat controlled, but the mental pain is harder, for me anyway.
Click to expand...

Back when I was diagnosed with IBC, I was frantic to know more about what I was facing and how other people had dealt with it. I joined a BC forum that had an entire section specific to my cancer and I learned 10x more from those people (both men and women) than from any doctor. Those people helped me when I was living in terror, when I was so sick from chemo... just all the way through it. Joining that forum was a lifeline for me at that time, because those people "got it" it a way that no one else could.

I learned so much from them, got so much honesty from them, and shared their experience. There was no sugar-coating or hand-patting... just raw truth and empathy. Too many of them did not survive and it makes me so sad to this day that their "voices" are silent.

I stayed on that forum for a long time after my treatment ended, trying to help people newly diagnosed because I had walked that lonely path and understood what they were living through. It was both uplifting and terrifying at the same time, since many people developed recurrences or metastases and I didn't want to think about that.

I check in there every month or so but sadly the "tone" of that place has changed. It got a new format and a new moderator team, and people started to leave. Most moved to Facebook groups or other social media. The owners of that forum took a valuable resource and ruined it.
 
Beth Gallagher said:
Back when I was diagnosed with IBC, I was frantic to know more about what I was facing and how other people had dealt with it. I joined a BC forum that had an entire section specific to my cancer and I learned 10x more from those people (both men and women) than from any doctor. Those people helped me when I was living in terror, when I was so sick from chemo... just all the way through it. Joining that forum was a lifeline for me at that time, because those people "got it" it a way that no one else could.

I learned so much from them, got so much honesty from them, and shared their experience. There was no sugar-coating or hand-patting... just raw truth and empathy. Too many of them did not survive and it makes me so sad to this day that their "voices" are silent.

I stayed on that forum for a long time after my treatment ended, trying to help people newly diagnosed because I had walked that lonely path and understood what they were living through. It was both uplifting and terrifying at the same time, since many people developed recurrences or metastases and I didn't want to think about that.

I check in there every month or so but sadly the "tone" of that place has changed. It got a new format and a new moderator team, and people started to leave. Most moved to Facebook groups or other social media. The owners of that forum took a valuable resource and ruined it.
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Beth,
Excellent and moving story.

Tony
 
Everyone wants to help, although sometimes its not what I need.
Like my daughters qill give unwanted advice or sermons.
I have my own personal relationship with my Maker and have studied the Bible off and own for over 50 years and probably forgot more than what these new age preachers ever knew about it.
I told my daughter I don't need to listen to them for my salvation.
I don't need them going on portals to give advice to the doctors.
Yet I like them visited me and call.
 
Marie Mallory said:
Everyone wants to help, although sometimes its not what I need.
Like my daughters qill give unwanted advice or sermons.
I have my own personal relationship with my Maker and have studied the Bible off and own for over 50 years and probably forgot more than what these new age preachers ever knew about it.
I told my daughter I don't need to listen to them for my salvation.
I don't need them going on portals to give advice to the doctors.
Yet I like them visited me and call.
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You are dealing with more severe health problems than I have thus far, but I know what you mean. People want to help, so they give advice, but you can't really tell what this advice is based on. Something they saw on YouTube? Someone saying that someone they know is familiar with someone who was helped by whatever the advice is? That's one thing, and you can filter the stuff out, but some people are then offended if you don't take their advice, and no one wants to deal with "I told you so's" on top of bad news. Whatever you decide on, there's a chance that things won't go well because eventually we're all going to deal with bad news.
 
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Ken Anderson said:
You are dealing with more severe health problems than I have thus far but I know what you mean. People want to help, so they give advice, but you can't really tell what this advice is based on. Something they saw in YouTube? Someone saying that someone they know is familiar with someone who was helped by whatever the advice is. That's one thing, and you can filter the stuff out, but some people are then offended if you don't take their advice, and no one wants to deal with "I told you so's" on top of bad news. Whatever you decide on, there's a chance that things won't go well because eventually we're all going to deal with bad news.
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LOL, right on Ken.I think they are finally getting it. I just talked to youngest daughter, son will be here Friday so hopefully things are under control, my control,;)
 
With that said, here's my advice. Make the best, most informed decisions that you can make but if you later start to think you might have made a mistake, unless it's something you can undo, don't dwell on it. You might have been in the same place regardless of what you had done. Learning from a mistake is one thing, but beating yourself up over it is another. Feel free to ignore this advice; I won't be offended.
 
I joined March of 2017.Was tried of FB. I checked out one or two other forums but joined SOC.
I was just getting to know folks on the forum, when in Dec, 2017, had my first real healthy crisis.
I had CHF and literally almost died.The people on the forum were most helpful to me,by simply just being there
to listening to my whine. I began to really become interested in their lives, their family, their pets. I was intrigued by several who were great photo people and posted beautiful pics from all over the world. The good folks on SOC became my true online family,Good or bad, right or wrong,I love:love: SOC and the people.
 
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