From Miss Happy to Help, to The Exorcist; The price of being too nice.

[Rinza Velez]

On the 4th of July during my cookout, which was attended by only me, I had time to reflect on all the gatherings I once had here at my home. There would be 20 or more people on all occasions. Many of whom, I had helped along the way, in many ways. I had cosigned for cars, loaned out money, let some of them stay here for a while if they had no place to go. Loaned out one of my cars, bought computers, music instruments, you name it! I was their "Go-to-girl", and that's not always a good thing because people can swamp you with their issues, and if not careful, you will go down with them! The money was never seen again, or even mentioned, and overnight guests turned into longer stays. Late night or early morning knocks on the door by friends needing something, often waking me up. I began turning people away, saying no, shutting my doors and life off to everyone. Then, I became the bad person in their eyes. I figured, so be it! No more phone calls, emails, knocks on the door, birthday or holiday cards in the mail. So, on the 4th of July, hot dogs and burgers on the grill, ice cream for dessert, all for me! Mark Twain said the most valuable lesson he learned was to say "No", even to friends. Hey Mark, I'm with you on that, all the way!

 

[Ken Anderson]

Light gray text on a white background is not readable.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

Light gray text on a white background is not readable.

Rinza has very poor vision and is using some formatting that doesn't work for many of us. I can see the post fine but I use dark mode since my eyesight is poor, too.

 

[Ken Anderson]

Okay, I can read it if I strain to, or if I wait until the nighttime black mode, but it’s hard to read it in the daytime.

 

[Mary Stetler]

On the 4th of July during my cookout, which was attended by only me, I had time to reflect on all the gatherings I once had here at my home. There would be 20 or more people on all occasions. Many of whom, I had helped along the way, in many ways. I had cosigned for cars, loaned out money, let some of them stay here for a while if they had no place to go. Loaned out one of my cars, bought computers, music instruments, you name it! I was their "Go-to-girl", and that's not always a good thing because people can swamp you with their issues, and if not careful, you will go down with them! The money was never seen again, or even mentioned, and overnight guests turned into longer stays. Late night or early morning knocks on the door by friends needing something, often waking me up. I began turning people away, saying no, shutting my doors and life off to everyone. Then, I became the bad person in their eyes. I figured, so be it! No more phone calls, emails, knocks on the door, birthday or holiday cards in the mail. So, on the 4th of July, hot dogs and burgers on the grill, ice cream for dessert, all for me! Mark Twain said the most valuable lesson he learned was to say "No", even to friends. Hey Mark, I'm with you on that, all the way!

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
The Bible also has quotes about not lending. It is more about giving than expecting things back.
You sound like a nicer person than I am, @Rinza Velez. I have given and loaned without returns but not as much as maybe I should be. I help in weird unexpected ways sometimes. I saw a waitress suffering at work one day and asked if her feet hurt. She was practically in tears so I asked her shoe size. Then I gave her my arch supports (from my shoes) that helped me immensely. Her face brightened and then she was smiling for the rest of the time we were there.
I don't happen to enjoy socializing much. I only have a few close friends and family. My best attended things were Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts. I could whip them up in my sleep. But few people eat like that any more.
I don't like impromptu knocks on the door and phone calls go to voicemail. It is not like years ago when people who called were people you wanted to hear from. Few cards because everyone uses email. Or, IMHO worse, texting.
I decided to enlarge my social circle. I thought about the senior center but it is not always open as it used to be. I have not looked into clubs. There was a walking club a while back but that has withered. I joined a small church that is very welcoming and allows for volunteer opportunities and bible study...

 

[Rinza Velez]

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
The Bible also has quotes about not lending. It is more about giving than expecting things back.
You sound like a nicer person than I am, @Rinza Velez. I have given and loaned without returns but not as much as maybe I should be. I help in weird unexpected ways sometimes. I saw a waitress suffering at work one day and asked if her feet hurt. She was practically in tears so I asked her shoe size. Then I gave her my arch supports (from my shoes) that helped me immensely. Her face brightened and then she was smiling for the rest of the time we were there.
I don't happen to enjoy socializing much. I only have a few close friends and family. My best attended things were Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts. I could whip them up in my sleep. But few people eat like that any more.
I don't like impromptu knocks on the door and phone calls go to voicemail. It is not like years ago when people who called were people you wanted to hear from. Few cards because everyone uses email. Or, IMHO worse, texting.
I decided to enlarge my social circle. I thought about the senior center but it is not always open as it used to be. I have not looked into clubs. There was a walking club a while back but that has withered. I joined a small church that is very welcoming and allows for volunteer opportunities and bible study...

Correction, I was a nicer person lol! Not anymore. I will help when needed, in emergency situations, stuff like that, but other than that, I'm done helping people because it turns into a full-time job, and they feel they can "depend on you", not so with me. That's great you have found things you like to do along with others. I have plenty to keep me busy. I have a fully equipped home gym, a music studio, guitars, bass guitars, keyboard and drums and bongos, a home, land, a rent home, 2 cats, 2 cars, a huge collection of movies. I do go out on dates, and enjoy walking and jogging and biking too! I will never be bored.

 

[Rinza Velez]

Light gray text on a white background is not readable.

I have a solution! Just double click on the text, or right click and select all, and presto! The text is visible.

 

[Rinza Velez]

Rinza has very poor vision and is using some formatting that doesn't work for many of us. I can see the post fine but I use dark mode since my eyesight is poor, too.

Thank you dear Beth!

 

[Beth Gallagher]

Thank you dear Beth!

You're welcome, but I wonder if there is a better way for you to create posts that everyone can read. Have you tried using the dark mode on the forum? I can see much better when the text is white on a black background. Having poor eyesight is a drag.

 

[Faye Fox]

My eyesight is bad and even with all my specialty glasses, still fail to track at times, making reading even large print hard. The day is coming when I will have to wear a patch on my bad eye, so the good one won't be as strained.

With that said, black print on a white background works best for me and gray lettering is impossible to read on white and a strain on black. That brings about a question if post with forum standard size print are overlooked by those with vision problems? How many take time to enlarge a post to comfortable reading size?

 

[Rinza Velez]

You're welcome, but I wonder if there is a better way for you to create posts that everyone can read. Have you tried using the dark mode on the forum? I can see much better when the text is white on a black background. Having poor eyesight is a drag.

Funny thing is I done thunk my text was white lol!! Yikes.....seems I am getting worse
I will make sure next time that the text is white

 

[Tony Nathanson]

Yes, we have to be careful about helping people. I've found that it especially applies to family.

 

[John Walker]

Funny thing is I done thunk my text was white lol!! Yikes.....seems I am getting worse I will make sure next time that the text is white

Just keep it black on white, the way that it is. That way, using dark mode changes it automatically to white on black.

 

[Ken Anderson]

Members can choose a light background, a black background, or the default, which is white during the day and black at night, which I like. Through your computer, I believe you can make things bigger. I don't want to impose a large font on everyone here because not everyone would want it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who is distracted by large fonts. I don't generally read them.