Dude Wipes

Faye Fox said:
AHEM AHEM! The Dude Wipes webpage makes it clear, their wipes are male specific. I never heard of them until Ken posted this most informative thread. At the time of discovery, this thread didn't appeal to me, but low and behold, I was at a friends and she was watching pro MENS bowling and they are now sponsored by Dude Wipes.

That really raised my suspicion, so I went to the Dude Wipes webpage. After wading thru a crock full of juvenile :poop: jokes and research about women's farts more toxic than men's, I decided the four guys that started this company, were not the Four Tops, but the Four Bottoms.

Hadn't these four Archimedean geniuses heard of having a spray bottle of water to dampen their TP? Or more caveman like, spit on the TP? But no these clever roomies with burrito dirty butts and/or chapped 🫏's, became millionaires by making baby wipes into a male specific product and the advertised butt use wasn't the same butt use as one might think.

The guy partners that started it, identify as "dudes" that had need for a wipe and while a great moisturized 💩 wipe was available, wasn't formulated to meet the male special needs. Being a former ranch girl, I know a man identifying or labeled as a dude, had a meaning less than a man of masculinity. Now that masculinity is considered toxic by some, I reasoned that these sanitizing wipes might wipe away toxicity that dude partners might encounter, thus dude wipes. Sissy wipes just doesn't have the same ring to it. :sneaky:

Here it is straight from the Dude Wipes webpage.

tp-quitter-chad.jpg

Chad, 22
Frat guy
Chad upgraded the house with refreshing DUDE Wipes. His housemates haven’t let him pay for a beer since. Alrighty then!


tp-quitter-john.jpg

John, 54
Long-haul truck driver
John has struggled to kick his toilet paper habit for years. He finally found a chap-free life. Too much info!


tp-quitter-jane.jpg

Jane, 42
Mother of two stinky sons
Jane found a way to bring her closer to her family of boys. With the stank gone, she can now live a fresh and clean life.
Please note Jane does not use these wipes herself, but got them for her boys who have become stinky as boys do around a certain age.

I rest my case!
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We need a question mark emoji.
 
Faye Fox said:
I never thought anything about Dude Wipes until recently. They are a personal hygiene item, but not as personal as I thought when I first saw them advertised. :ROFLMAO: Dude wipes sounded like for a specific chore for a specific male only body part. :sneaky:

Then I read Ken saying that women can use them also. I worried our fearless leader has gone woke and fallen victim to thinking a dude can become a real woman. However, I am puzzled why they are called dude wipes if their purpose is for wiping ones butt. :rolleyes: Women also partake in butt wiping, so why are these wipes dude specific?

I am assuming that they are treated with something that is prostrate friendly and perhaps even prevents prostate cancer, thus even a trans person, once identifying as a male, but now missing male sex defining parts, now identifying as a woman, can benefit from these magic wipes because they still have a dude prostate. :unsure:
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I think Dude wipes were needed because dudes probably didn't even think about it if no one reminded them. I could see them using velvet leaf or some other wide leafed item butt getting down and dirty doesn't always occur to them. It still concerns me that Arabs only eat with their right hands.
 
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