Dealing With Obnoxious, Toxic, And Narcissistic People

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Silvia Benoit, Dec 19, 2020.

  1. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Veteran Member
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    Obnoxious, Toxic, And Narcissistic People
    I Just Ignore them. I am a honest and pleasant person to deal with.
     
    #46
  2. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Veteran Member
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    Obnoxious, Toxic, And Narcissistic People

    I just ignore them. New York Staters are OK. It's Manhatten, Brooklyn,Queens, Bronx folks that can be a pain in the a--.
     
    #47
  3. Silvia Benoit

    Silvia Benoit Well-Known Member
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    Don't you think you are generalizing e little too much?
     
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  4. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Very Well-Known Member
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    Dealing with Obnoxious Toxic and Narcissistic people is the title of the post. After wading through 4 pages of banter and finger pointing, I had to go reread Silvia's original post. These big 3 ugly words used to describe human behavior, I find to be in use more frequently as the days go by. The best way to end a conversation is by labeling another. I find liberals revel in the use of labeling words and especially love initials to describe what ailment they have that justifies their behavior. AADD is a good example of an excuse to be obnoxious. "I can't help myself," they cry.

    The initial game has certainly taken the negative connotations from unacceptable behavior. I have NPD they say. No one asked what NPD is because no one wants to look ignorant. They continue with how their NPD justifies their behavior and how we must all learn to accept it. After all, to ignore or judge one with a disability is shameful. People boasting NPD claiming a birthright to it, think they are on the same level as ones with OCD. Tolerance for such nonsense and refusal to accept responsibility for their actions is why our society is one of tolerance for everything but conservative values.

    Using toxic to describe human behavior is a blanket that covers all. Is that person you label as toxic really toxic? Have they made you ill? Or did you make yourself ill? Behavior can only be toxic if it is poisoning others against their will. Avoiding this person would resolve that for ones with low immunity against such poison. One that is toxic to you, may not be toxic to others. In my 70 years of orbiting the sun, I know only one person that was/is truly toxic to everyone he was and is around.

    Now for obnoxious. Here again, what is obnoxious to one may not be to another. I have met very few that live a lifestyle of obnoxiousness. Take one of those lifestyles coupled with true narcissism, and they become a toxic person and I treat them as I would a large bleeding hemorrhoid with removal.
     
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  5. Silvia Benoit

    Silvia Benoit Well-Known Member
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    And what do you do when a person is toxic but only in certain instances? Do you "divorce" completely from that person, ignore his/her toxic side, tell him /her to stop breaking your patience....?
     
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  6. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Very Well-Known Member
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    Great question. If the behavior is only in certain circumstances but not in others, then personally I would avoid the circumstances that triggered such unacceptable behavior. I would avoid the person completely if they behaved in a manner that made me feel ill as if poisoned, on every occasion. Let's say you could discuss everything but religion with this one without them becoming unreasonable, condemning, obnoxious, and insulting. If I enjoyed the other conversations, then I would avoid them only in a religious discussion, however, if their disdain for me and my beliefs spilled over in other discussions, then in time such behavior would lead me to avoid them, but only after I presented my case to them why I am avoiding them. Not because we disagree, but because of their unyielding, judgemental, boastful, overbearing, superior, venomous attitude that they try to impose on me as the only way in every encounter.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 1, 2021
  7. Susan Paynter

    Susan Paynter Well-Known Member
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    There are two words which come to my mind ..tolerance and patience.
    When you realize that people cannot put up with your ideas or bring them up for discussion, the person with none of the above will just walk away. I see that person with lesser social contact and abandoning the world for lack of it. They think they are righteous and ' know it alls'.
    Just like in a forum, an idea or topic is set forth and put up for discussion. There is no need for a person to have first hand knowledge on the subject. But this is a good time and the scope of learning from various modules is tremendous. The other person who does have first hand knowledge should then be tolerant of this person's initiative on the subject and the fact that they are responding to the thread should be accepted kindly.
     
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  8. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Very Well-Known Member
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    I agree Susan and will offer my slant on this. If one of little knowledge on a subject presents their view as fact and puts down the others personal experience, then perhaps it is best for the original poster with the first-hand knowledge to walk away rather than cause a confrontation that accomplishes nothing but ill feelings.

    My own practice on forums is to put no one on ignore because for me that destroys any meaningful conversation. Not seeing what the person you are ignoring is saying doesn't change the fact that others see it and then respond and you won't fully understand their response. It breaks the continuity. I don't judge anyone for using it. Tolerance and patience are great virtues, but as I age they become harder to practice.

    I see where my tolerance in the past for the things I felt were wrong has led. Patience and tolerance with people that refused to change or admit fault and expected me to become who they wanted me to be, exhibiting no tolerance for me or my ways. These dead-end interactions took a toll on my health. In hindsight, I wished I had just broken any contact with those that demand patience and tolerance from others but exhibit none themselves.

    Forums are different as we are all hiding behind screens. I think many discussions would be different in person. I wouldn't fault anyone for getting up and leaving the room due to my horrible nervous tics and OCD. I would not judge them as intolerant. I don't demand that others have to be around me and see such disturbing behavior even though it isn't something that can be controlled.
     
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  9. Silvia Benoit

    Silvia Benoit Well-Known Member
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    Faye,

    Well, we can talk religion / politics with this dear friend...but don't you dare to give her a ride back home because she -w/o respect for your time / obligations- will ask you to drive her to every store around...in some cases many miles away from your way....and she will get upset if you don't.
    In some instances, we had left before her to avoid having to drive her around. She, otherwise, is adorable....AND DRIVES BETTER THAN ALL OF ASS. SIMPLY, SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO DRIVE.
     
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  10. Terry Coywin

    Terry Coywin Very Well-Known Member
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    If someone comes within my periphery who is toxic, they are gone in a New York minute.
     
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  11. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    Cement shoes?:);):mad:
     
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  12. Susan Paynter

    Susan Paynter Well-Known Member
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    The world is full of all sorts of characters with different personalities. Should we step back from them because we dont agree. ?
    That being said, in my case, as I get older, I have fewer friends and my level of tolerance has increased multi fold. But then, that's just me.
    Though, the last post of SB has got me wondering...have I been blindsided?
     
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  13. Silvia Benoit

    Silvia Benoit Well-Known Member
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    I am the one that's gone when a completely toxic person gets near.
     
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  14. Terry Coywin

    Terry Coywin Very Well-Known Member
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    Whatever.
     
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