Marie Mallory Memorial thread

Hey everyone; I'm going to see how I do with a post; haven't been able to do one here because I get to emotional, for over 36 days now. Lately I seem to be a little better. So here goes.

Went back to Haven 9 am yesterday for the grieving thing they done for us who lost our love ones. Shed some tears and made others do it too. Easy to do after such a loss. One lady is in her eighties, and said she and her husband were married almost seventy one years, I told you don't look old enough to done that; said she did and her daughter was with her said it's ,"true". The instructor or leader of it asked everyone what they think would make things better; and that woman said bring him back; stated crying again. I know now how that feels, hurts deep inside your whole body.

After the meeting; oh, they are going to have another in November, around Marie's birthday; which I'm invited to. But I went straight to see room #3, and Sandy told me you take as long as you like. Said no one is in it now. I went in and got down on my knees placed both hands on the bed,and prayed to God, for a sign, and to make me do what I'm supposed to do. I talked to Marie for a long time; Told her I hope she's o k , and no longer in pain. Of course I cried too.


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I dug her footing for her head stone, which will be finished in ten weeks. filled it with concrete. Also got on my knees at her grave and asked God again for some kind of sign. So I've been begging and praying for nine months now, so I'm going to let his will be done; and stop bugging him; see what happens.



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So far I'm able to write this so who knows, maybe I will make it yet. On the skin cancer they texted me said to make an appointment late this week for MOHS surgery; something like that, will be doing that this week. Didn't say anything on type; go figure.

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Thanks everyone for your kindness toward Marie and I. :)
 
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Beth Gallagher said:
So good to hear from you, @Jake Smith . We all miss Marie, and we miss you too.

My husband has had MOHS surgery a few times over the years; it is a simple procedure and not much "down time" so it shouldn't be a big deal. How are the dogs doing? I know they must miss Marie, too. Take care of yourself; things will get better.
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They miss her just like me. Getty keeps eating my bed and getting under Marie's, won't touch hers just chews mine up. Was in there yesterday smelling her clothes on her bed. Took her to the grave twice so far, trying to let her figure it out. This is a photo of Maisie at grave; trying to take them one at a time to help them too.

I can't bring myself to move any of Marie's things; I smell them too, and get sad. Guess maybe later I will be able to do something about all the reminders.
 

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Beth Gallagher said:
You know that old saying, "the best things come in small packages." Marie was a little dynamo for sure. I always imagined her turning up the music and dancing around the house. She did love music!
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She did turn it up and dance, Great personality, she had; long as she didn't feel crossed. Like in her obituary I had Jordan put; she would tell you the truth even if it would make you mad. She was a very honest person.
 
Marie Miller said:
Jake, I thought about you last night. It is good to hear from you and about your journey.
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Just now able to actually talk; without breaking down; like a little girl; never cried like, I have, in my life. buckets. Pulling that tree from Helene, got caught on a tree, got off the tractor went around to the other side; touched it and a broken limb knocked me 8 or 9 feet away on top of my forehead, tried to get up sound like a water faucet from blood pouring down. Got a dirty wragg, off tractor which I bled all over; wiped blood so I wouldn't scare Marie; didn't shed a single tear ; but this has made me cry like a baby.
 
Jake Smith said:
They miss her just like me. Getty keeps eating my bed and getting under Marie's, won't touch hers just chews mine up. Was in there yesterday smelling her clothes on her bed. Took her to the grave twice so far, trying to let her figure it out. This is a photo of Maisie at grave; trying to take them one at a time to help them too.

I can't bring myself to move any of Marie's things; I smell them too, and get sad. Guess maybe later I will be able to do something about all the reminders.
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No need to hurry. I found later I wanted some things back.
 
Jake Smith said:
Just now able to actually talk; without breaking down; like a little girl; never cried like, I have, in my life. buckets. Pulling that tree from Helene, got caught on a tree, got off the tractor went around to the other side; touched it and a broken limb knocked me 8 or 9 feet away on top of my forehead, tried to get up sound like a water faucet from blood pouring down. Got a dirty wragg, off tractor which I bled all over; wiped blood so I wouldn't scare Marie; didn't shed a single tear ; but this has made me cry like a baby.
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Jake, talking is a first step. Sharing memories about her with those who loved her. How are the kids?
 
I wish I could tell you it gets easier in time @Jake Smith, and while the immediate change and shock gets better, the memories will be there and sometimes the best relief is to have a good cry. Beautiful photos of the grave and dogs visiting. Nice memorial stone.

I didn't know I shared the same birthday with Marie, just one year later. Good that you are taking care of your skin cancer. That has been a yearly thing for me for the last 25 years. I think of Marie often now that I am on my second cancer journey. It looks as though with surgery and possibility radiation, and 6 month checkups, I can manage it for 15 years, but that may change depending on the full body scan results. If any spread, then ugly will get uglier and the docs 15 year life expectancy, will get revised and not in my favor.

Anyway glad you are feeling a bit better and keeping us informed.
 
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