On Death & Dying

[Faye Fox]

Faye, I was an innocent bystander, the doctors first in er, then later oncologest, were the doomers, I was just sitting there minding my own bizwax, they started the gloom and doom crap.
Now I'm just playing it b y ear, Que Sera Sera.

Is tomorrow still biopsy day?

 

[Marie Mallory]

Is tomorrow still biopsy day?

Yes it is. We'll see whats happening then I guess.

 

[Hedi Mitchell]

I remember a guy who told me about his mother being a real hypochondriac. She was always had something she was sure to die from. Instead she drowned when she fell out of a boat. Point- you never really know for sure what will get you in the end.
My mother was a bit like that. She was healthy -no meds at age 70, died of stroke at 70. She was a chronic worrier and had just found out my dad had aggressive lung cancer. He died a year later, a rather painful death.
I knew a woman who took care of her sick husband, she was healthy, until she died of a heart attack, leaving him behind.
Hope can keep us alive sometimes better than medicine. Perhaps we should stop wondering what Will get us in the end, and focus more on our next breath?

 

[Mary Stetler]

I simplify don't understand all this discussion about hospice and such in Marie's case. I think some of y'all must have stock in funeral homes and/or crematories.

I have yet to know anyone that can read a biopsy report before it is even done or know what a PET scan will reveal. The topic is death and dying, but so far there is no concrete evidence that Marie is going to be the first to become a silent keyboard here on SOC.

No one knows who will log out first and final here on SOC, and in light of our ages and that many of us have seen younger seniors die, I think while making reasonable plans for our final days is good, it shouldn't be hastened with imagining our diseases are going to be fatal, until we know that for fact.

Statistics show that nearly all women will get breast cancer by age 100 and men will get prostate cancer by age 100. The thing to consider is that several here have already been through those cancers and are still with us. If those cancers strike again when we are in our 90s, many will choose to die without treatment, other than for pain, knowing that time is short anyway.

I think we are all just thinking out loud. Options, vague thoughts. Just the word cancer hits like a ton of bricks. While waiting for the dust to settle, thoughts happen. Hospice can give some relief IF it is needed. We added our two cents at the idiocy of the medical industrial complex not getting Marie in to see the specialists she needed.
My son-in law was diagnosed with multiple myaloma , a bone cancer of the marrow, over 12 years ago. That cancer killed my first business partner, long ago, but SIL is still kicking and working from home. I know of a few friends surviving cancer. They are not just sitting around waiting to die. They have their good and bad days.
My husband came up to me out of the blue and said, 'I know what we can do when my time comes.' When your time comes for what? When I may need a nursing home and we can't afford it. He said he was watching a video where there were robots who can be human care takers. Uhhmmm... I don't think so or not quite yet.
But he saw it and it may be available in the future if his time doesn't come too soon. Just more thinkin'.

 

[Ed Wilson]

With all this talk of dying, I think we should all get SOC 2 T-shirts to wear to the hereafter so we can find each other and continue the conversation.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

I think we are all just thinking out loud. Options, vague thoughts. Just the word cancer hits like a ton of bricks. While waiting for the dust to settle, thoughts happen. Hospice can give some relief IF it is needed. We added our two cents at the idiocy of the medical industrial complex not getting Marie in to see the specialists she needed.

Exactly. The thread topic is death and dying, so that's what we're talking about. I think these discussions often lead to hospice, burial plans, getting affairs in order, etc. None of us want Marie to give up and we have all been trying our best to support her and Jake as they navigate the frustrating medical system.

 

[Shirley Martin]

I have given some thought to death and dying. There was a time when I was twenty-seven years old that I faced death. I had a tumor in my uterus as big as a grapefruit. They would not know if it was cancer until it was removed. I had bled so much that the doctor couldn't do surgery until my blood was built back up. I took iron tablets for months. I was extremely weak. During that time, I faced the fact that I might die. I had three children under ten years old. I worried about who would raise them if I died. I did get the hysterectomy and recovered eventually.

I have had a good life; my children have grown up and are good people. "I have had my ups and downs, but life has been kind, the downs have been few." There have been many blessings.

I'm not afraid of dying. There are two possibilities. It will either be the ending of a story or the beginning of a new story. I will be sad if it's the ending of a story but not afraid. If it's the beginning of a new story, well, we'll see.

 

[Marie Mallory]

I have given some thought to death and dying. There was a time when I was twenty-seven years old that I faced death. I had a tumor in my uterus as big as a grapefruit. They would not know if it was cancer until it was removed. I had bled so much that the doctor couldn't do surgery until my blood was built back up. I took iron tablets for months. I was extremely weak. During that time, I faced the fact that I might die. I had three children under ten years old. I worried about who would raise them if I died. I did get the hysterectomy and recovered eventually.

I have had a good life; my children have grown up and are good people. "I have had my ups and downs, but life has been kind, the downs have been few." There have been many blessings.

I'm not afraid of dying. There are two possibilities. It will either be the ending of a story or the beginning of a new story. I will be sad if it's the ending of a story but not afraid. If it's the beginning of a new story, well, we'll see.

At 27 I too had 3 children under 10.Mine were 6,7 and 8, almost 9.

 

[Faye Fox]

Good point that the topic is about death and dying and also Marie did say she felt she is dying, so I will bow out of this discussion. I had rather talk about living until all the evidence points to death being near. Dying is too easy to hasten it.

 

[Ken Anderson]

Nearly every other forum and thread here is about living, so I thought we could use one on dying, since it's our future, while understanding that it is not the entirety of our future. We still have living to do, but I don't believe that anyone over the age of 60 or 70 is oblivious to death, either their own impending death or that of so many people around them. Not everyone is comfortable talking about death, and I get that, but others might appreciate the opportunity to say the things that are on their minds anyhow. Having lost two of my four full brothers, nearly all of my aunts and uncles, and so many other people who have been important to me, most of them in the last decade, it was on my mind. If we don't bog it down with specific health complaints and treatments, which can be discussed in the health area, I think this can be an important thread to many of us.