Saying I'm Sorry

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Cody Fousnaugh, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    How often do you say this?

    Wife and I say it to each other, with an add-on "I love you", when we make up from an argument. Nice thing is, very few arguments happen between us.

    Now, on the other hand, I seen a Psychotherapist years ago (in the 80's) about some personal problems, including saying "I'm sorry" a lot to people. She told me to stop saying it so much and to only say it when I really knew that the "at fault" was mine. "Don't just say "I'm sorry" to be nice. If the problem wasn't your fault, why apologize?"

    What about you?
     
    #1
    Ina I. Wonder likes this.
  2. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,651
    Likes Received:
    8,308
    I only say I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong
    Very rarely have to say it as I rarely get it wrong, when I do - I'm eager to apologise
     
    #2
    Chrissy Cross likes this.
  3. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,992
    Likes Received:
    13,736
    I will say I'm sorry...have done a few times on here.

    In real life though I'm a sweetheart and usually don't do anything that requires I'm sorry but if it does...I say it.
     
    #3
  4. Hoot Crawford

    Hoot Crawford Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2017
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    62
    Gee, I learned a loooong time ago to use those 6 little words that all women want to hear:

    "Yes dear. You're right. I'm sorry."

    As Bob Hope used to say, the key is sincerity, and once you can fake that, you got it made....

    jk of course
     
    #4
  5. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,651
    Likes Received:
    8,308
    Ha ha - if only my husband would learn those words :p
     
    #5
    Hoot Crawford likes this.
  6. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    21,356
    Likes Received:
    6,427
    The British are renowned for saying ''sorry' when it's not their fault... eg, someone walks into us , and WE say sorry... we can't hear what someone says, so we say ''sorry'' rather than can you repeat that?... we say ''sorry would you mind letting me pass''..etc.. ... we apologize for everything lol....

    But yes I easily say sorry if I'm in the wrong.. but I don't apologise if I've been the one who was wronged...
     
    #6
  7. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 13, 2015
    Messages:
    1,231
    Likes Received:
    1,434
    Yeah, I say it once in a while, especially if it going to affect dinner or other tangibles.
     
    #7
    Patsy Faye and Ina I. Wonder like this.
  8. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    Think saying "I'm sorry" to a law enforcement officer who stopped you in your vehicle for a Moving Violation, would work? Not get a ticket?:D
     
    #8
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    Martin Alonzo and Frank Sanoica like this.
  9. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,992
    Likes Received:
    13,736
    Sometimes...

    Just depends on his mood that day. :)
     
    #9
    Frank Sanoica likes this.
  10. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2015
    Messages:
    5,897
    Likes Received:
    9,032
    John Denver - I'm Sorry
     
    #10
  11. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,449
    Likes Received:
    9,810
    I once thanked a Texas trooper who had written me traffic ticket. He was so polite that I found myself saying telling him, "Thank you." Then, realizing that I had just thanked him for a traffic ticket, I followed up with, "Did I just thank you for a traffic ticket?" He thought it was funny.

    I think that people are being trained to apologize for anything and everything these days, and when someone is pressured into offering an apology, it's not really an apology and it's a waste of time. For one thing, the person apologizing doesn't mean it and whoever is being apologized to doesn't accept it anyhow.

    If I've done wrong, I'll apologize, and sometimes I'll apologize for someone's reaction even when I don't think that whatever I had said or done warranted it. In such cases, I might be saying, "I'm sorry," but what I am thinking is, "I'm sorry that you're unstable or overly emotional."
     
    #11
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
    Holly Saunders and Sheldon Scott like this.
  12. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    And, then, there are those that just simply won't accept an "I'm sorry"......have had that happen. "I don't want to hear it", they will say. How would you feel and handle it if someone you apologized to won't accept your apology and tells you that?
     
    #12
  13. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,992
    Likes Received:
    13,736
    Move on...you can't make people accept anything they don't want to accept. If you're talking about family, I'd work a little harder at it but if it's just casual acquaintances...move on.
     
    #13
    Ken Anderson likes this.
  14. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    "Move on" is easy to say, but, for some, not so easy to do. If a person doesn't want to accept an "I'm sorry" or any kind of apology, some people want to know why.
     
    #14
  15. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    21,356
    Likes Received:
    6,427
    Well there's 2 reasons IMO @Cody Fousnaugh , the first may be that whatever was said or done hurt the victim deeply and they could never forgive, so an apology is unacceptable to them, and the second is that the victim disliked the perpetrator in the first instance, and had been looking for a reason to dismiss that person from their lives..
     
    #15
    Ken Anderson likes this.
  16. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,992
    Likes Received:
    13,736
    Didn't say it was easy. You may never get answer to "Why" though....or you may not like it.

    In my entire family only my father was one that I could never forgive ....not that he ever said he was sorry.

    It doesn't bother me though...I just don't care.
     
    #16
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
  17. Martin Alonzo

    Martin Alonzo Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    2,478
  18. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    Unfortunately, Holly, people say things all the time that can hurt others feelings. Thing is, some people are just too sensitive. I also mean that there are times that a person doesn't know another person well enough to say what they say. Hope you understand that.

    I remember one time, I was telling a young lady, in her 20's, at our pool about my wife's Princess Leia Halloween costume. I said, "I told her she looks more like Princess Leia's mother, with the costume on, then Princess Leia." The young lady looked at me and said "that was a rude thing to say to her". I said, "wasn't rude" and left the pool. Later, when my wife got home from work, I told her what I'd said the young lady and we both laughed about the girls remark "that was a rude thing to say to her". Heck, wife and I laughed together when I told her, while in my Darth Vader costume, "I look more like Vader's father!". A person really, and I mean REALLY, needs a "sense of humor" to be around us.
     
    #18
    Holly Saunders likes this.
  19. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    21,356
    Likes Received:
    6,427
    Yes I understand what you're saying Cody, I'm sure the young lady probably didn't realise that you and your wife have the same sense of humour,,,
     
    #19
    Shirley Martin likes this.
  20. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    You're definitely right there!
     
    #20
  21. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,449
    Likes Received:
    9,810
    I suppose that it would depend on the nature of the crime that I had apologized for, although I don't imagine myself doing anything unforgivable. Nevertheless, I suppose, if I have apologized and my apology was not accepted, I would simply have nothing to do with that person anymore. I don't need to have everyone in the world like me.
     
    #21
    Holly Saunders and Chrissy Cross like this.
  22. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    3,117
    Likes Received:
    2,554
    Ken, your last two sentences are very correct., especially the last sentence.
     
    #22
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2017
  23. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2015
    Messages:
    5,897
    Likes Received:
    9,032

Share This Page