Regrets: I've Had A Few

Discussion in 'Other Reminiscences' started by Craig Wilson, Mar 22, 2020.

  1. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Greeter
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    I regret having to spend most of my childhood in a strict boarding school. I regret living most of my life with insomnia. I regret some of my life choices. However, my biggest regret was being estranged from my cousins for decades. We were more like siblings than cousins. We were at each others places almost ever week. Did everything together that siblings w'd do. Went to the (flicks) movie cinema, drive in, swimming, picnicking, camping.. everything. We watched each other growing up.Then, suddenly, in my late teens we stopped seeing each other. No regular visits to our respective homes. Not even birthday or Christmas cards. Nothing. It was like they ceased to exist and I had no idea what was going on. Many years later my brother and I finally heard the truth. My mother and her brother had had an acrimonious falling out over his new wife. This resulted in our cousins being banned from having anything to do with my brother and I. Here were two grown adults acting like children and who suffered.. us innocents.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 23, 2020
  2. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Veteran Member
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    I really, really wish I'd met my wife years before I did. I regret not finishing college. I regret no taking better paying jobs, but my experience and education didn't call for better paying. I also regret not staying with a job longer than I did, but then again...……..
     
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  3. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    My experience was much the same, only for different reasons. My best friends, Calvin, Robert, and Jerry, although we were all from different families, were first cousins. Calvin and I lived on the same road, separated only by cornfields, while Jerry was on a parallel road to the south, and Robert was on a parallel road to the north, all within a mile or so of one another. Calvin and I were born a few hours apart, but his birthday was a day before mine because he was born before midnight. There were a few others, including a couple of other cousins, who were with us sometimes, but it was usually just the four of us. We also hung out in school, from K-8th grade, although we had other friends there too. Except for Boy Scouts, which they didn't take part in, we were together all summer.

    That all changed when we started high school in another town. Although we went to the same school, we rarely saw one another anymore. I can't remember being in any of the same classes they were in, and the summer after 9th grade, I worked on the staff of a Boy Scout camp, and I don't know if Calvin, Robert, and Jerry hung out together or not. By 10th grade, cars opened up a whole other world. There was no falling out, and the separation wasn't even gradual. When we did see one another, we had nothing in common. I was in the drama club, while Calvin was in some agricultural group, Robert was doing sports, and Jerry's being a grade behind us made more of a difference in high school than it did in elementary school.

    Calvin joined the army after high school and was discharged in Germany, and his sister tells me he has returned to the United States only a couple of times. I see Robert and Jerry sometimes when I return to Wallace, as they are both still living there, but we don't have much in common. I think Jerry and I could still carry on a good conversation but we haven't had much of a chance.
     
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  4. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Greeter
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    Since my uncle's funeral.. to which my brother and I were not invited so we did not know of his death.. we cousins have had a sort of a reunion and the odd get together, but we are no where near as close as we were as kids. Three decades apart killed that. Besides they now have their own families and both live far away from us. Before my mother died I approached her about the estrangement of us cousins caused by her and her own brother. She was curt in her reply.. "dont want to talk about it".
     
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  5. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Veteran Member
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    You did not cause any of these incidents - therefore you should have no regret. :)
     
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  6. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Veteran Member
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    Regrets- No, however three are things I wish I had done differently.
     
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  7. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Exactly the same for me, I loved my cousin so much - I wish I could find her, I've tried ……
    It was my childhood estrangement not my choice, but I do regret not trying to find her sooner
     
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  8. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Greeter
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    The regret was being deprived from seeing my cousins for 3 decades.
     
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  9. Lois Winters

    Lois Winters Very Well-Known Member
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    Too many to mention.
     
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  10. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Veteran Member
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    Not asking my father more questions about his family history while he was alive. I tried to encourage him to make an audio tape of his childhood memories once, but he never got around to it. I think he would have done it if I had asked specific questions, but I didn't know what questions to ask, until now. Does that make sense? ;)
     
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  11. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    I have to agree with you @Nancy Hart not getting more history from dad and mom is my regret.
     
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  12. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    That makes total sense to me, @Nancy Hart , and I feel the same way about wishing I had asked my parents more. My mom and dad both told me a few stories about their childhood, but there are huge gaps that I wish I knew more about, especially, since we had the ancestry and 23&Me dna testing done.
    It turned out that people I thought were good friends of the family are actually relatives, and I just didn’t know that. It makes me happy to discover it, but I still wish that I had known about it sooner.
    Whatever my folks shared, they did, and I really never thought to ask more questions when they were still alive, and now, it is far too late.
    I started writing things down that I remembered from my childhood, and stories that my mom and dad told me, so hopefully, my kids wont have the same regrets about this as I had.
     
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  13. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Veteran Member
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    Similar thing about old pictures. I found a bunch of them, with people in them, and have no idea who they are. :(
     
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  14. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Veteran Member
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    I have many regrets.
     
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  15. Audrey Claire

    Audrey Claire Member
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    My regret is this - I emailed my aunt and we made comments about my brothers new partner. The comments were justified. We assumed they were private and we were just airing our feelings with each other. We would never have said anything openly to this person as we would not have wanted to hurt my brother.
    However - the partner had helped my aunt set up her new iPad. We didn’t know that she had made it possible for her to access my aunts emails. She read what we said about her. She and my brother broke off all contact with us. I was never able to defend myself to my brother as he would only talk to us through her.
    My regret is that we said those things about her in what we assumed were private emails. However it’s clear she is a bad person. But I have lost my brother through this.
     
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