Prayer Request For Chrissy

Discussion in 'Faith & Religion' started by Yvonne Smith, Jun 8, 2016.

  1. Avigail David

    Avigail David Well-Known Member
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    Oh, don't say that @Chrissy Page You will be so much missed, and loved ones and friends will be very sad for losing you. Please be strong and be not disheartened. Look after yourself in this time of pain and loss. I don't know how but I wish for peace and much comfort for you in your loneliness. Love and warm hugs!
     
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  2. Kate Ellery

    Kate Ellery Veteran Member
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    #52
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  3. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    thchrisy.jpg thwhite and pink roses.jpg Thinking of you and wishing a good day for you @Chrissy Page And if you didn't go get your flowers...here's some for you. :)
     
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  4. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Thank you, Babs. I didn't get them yet, so those are perfect and the nice gesture lifts my mood.

    I am doing much better also. Everything takes time, there's no shortcuts or quick fixes.
     
    #54
  5. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    You are right there is no shortcuts or quick fixes for the loss of someone you love. Even after 10 years without my Mom here on earth there are times I still miss her earthly presence so much and long to just be able to pick up the phone and call her or see her face to face and get one more of her hugs. I guess that's why I feel your loss too and want you to know I care.
     
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  6. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Thanks again, Babs. Yes, I'm dreading next Mother's Day. There will be other events before that...her birthday, etc.

    I also know that even 10 years and 12 since my husband died that sometimes it's like it just happened or something will trigger a good cry.

    Time heals...but never completely.
     
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  7. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    To me, there is a difference between healing, and forgetting something. I still miss my mother, and both she and my dad died a month apart in the spring of 1988, but I am no longer in pain when I think about my mom and dad.
    For the whole first year, I survived, but I was still in the grief of them passing .
    Gradually, over the years, the sadness has been replaced by the good memories of the times we had together, and memories from when I was growing up.
    Knowing that my mom was no longer suffering helped me to make it through the sadness that she was no longer there, and how much I missed both my mom and dad.
    After I started writing the stories about my parents and my childhood in my little blog that I am making for my kids and grandkids, it helped me to remember more of the good times.
    I think that, to a great extent, we can call up the memories we want to see again. Sometimes, something triggers a memory, which just comes unbidden, and that can either be a good one or a sad one; but otherwise, we can try to focus on the good ones.
    Even those are sad at first, because we are grieving, and that is only natural that we would cry over both good memories and bad ones; but later, we can start to enjoy the good memories again.

    Just be gentle with yourself, Chrissy, and know that you are going through a hard time, and dealing with it the best you can right now.
     
    #57
  8. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Thanks againYvonne. Losing two people you loved within a month is hard for me to even think about. Sometimes people lose whole families in a senseless car accident or a house fire or even an airplane crash.

    I know the pain of one death at a time and it's never easy, I guess we are stronger than we think because most people manage to get through some horrible times.

    Then there are some people that show no signs of grief even though they loved the person. The ones that say it's been a week, get over it.
     
    #58
  9. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I am pretty sure that my dad had been having small strokes before my mom died; but we didn't understand that back then. I remember him saying that some days he had trouble remembering things and couldn't find the newspaper or car keys.
    Mom had the heart failure, and it had gotten to the point where she was bedridden and we had to help her to the bathroom and back even.
    She stopped drinking water so she wouldn't have to go to the bathroom, and then her kidneys started shutting down.
    Finally, we had to get her to the hospital, and she only lived a few more days after that; but at least she was no longer in pain.
    After that, my dad had a massive stroke, and then I lost him, too.
    I am an only child, and my husband had walked out on me a few months before that; and when I lost my parents, I thought I was at the bottom of the world for a long time after that.
    It was just too much grief in too short of a time.
    There is no set time for getting over grief, each person's circumstances are different, so however long it takes is what is right for each of us.
     
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  10. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Oh Yvonne, so heartbreaking to hear the story. Just having your husband walk out is miserable enough without the
    Deaths of your parents!

    Did you have any support? Close friend or other relatives?
     
    #60
  11. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I did have support of my sons and several good friends. Robin was at her other grandmother's house, finishing high school.
    I had sent her there for safety because of her father's dangerous drug connections who were threatening to kill us and burn down the house.
    Both of the boys were married and gone, and I wanted Robin to be somewhere safe.
    After my ex left, I moved to the old hotel where my parents were and stayed there until they passed away, and then moved from there to Sandpoint where I lived growing up, and I had friends there who helped me deal with everything.
    I moved into the old house where my folks had lived, which had sat empty for many years. '
    Then I got hurt in an accident, and spent the next 6-7 months on crutches; so all in all, it was not a good year for me.
     
    #61
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2016
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  12. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Probably your worst year...how old where you in 1988? I was 37, a stay at home mom. Daughter was 17 and son was 12. Living an easy middle class life. Had no problems then. Nobody had even died yet except my grandfather.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 22, 2016
  13. Marilyn Pahl

    Marilyn Pahl Well-Known Member
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    My prayers, and sprinkles of blessings for you Chrissy. Moms are special, and we will always remember all the little and big things they did for us. G-d Bless.
     
    #63
  14. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Thank you, @Marilyn Pahl and welcome to the forum!

    I'm doing much better now but still have days when she pops into my head and the tears flow. Happened just yesterday when I was looking at some photos of her.
     
    #64
  15. Marilyn Pahl

    Marilyn Pahl Well-Known Member
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    When ones, say well you'll get over it. Which is so callus, it doesn't work that way. Mom died in 1981.My youngest son was born the same year. I took care of mom, baby, and husband (died 1984). Every time I do a math problem, or when the kids were little and remembered how she worked it. Different things you and your mom shared and did together will always be in your heart and no one can ever take that away from you ever.... I cry too. "We weren't born perfect, just human." Thank-You for your warm welcome to the forum.;)
     
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  16. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    So true. My husband died in 2004 and I've shed a tear this past week over a memory of him also.

    Thankfully though, with time the pain and tears aren't gut wrenching....just a release of emotions, I always feel better after.

    Some people never cry, I'm not one of them. :)
     
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  17. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Very Well-Known Member
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    . My condolences, Chrissy. I'm so sorry for your loss.
     
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  18. K E Gordon

    K E Gordon Very Well-Known Member
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    Crying has it's place for sure. I think it is much better than keeping your emotions all bottled up inside. You do generally feel better after you cry. It is just one of the ways to improve how you feel, and it is something thtat comes naturally to a lot of people, so it is something that I have never been afraid to do.
     
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  19. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Thanks @Bill Boggs and yes, crying helps me @K E Gordon. Sometimes it's just a few tears, sometimes a waterfall but I always feel better afterwards.

    I'll be having a good cry again...Oct. 9 is her birthday. :(

    It will a tough day for all the siblings....it's the first major occasion without her. I may go to my daughter's around that time so I'm not alone.


    She always told me I sent the prettiest cards....and I did. :) I took great pains in finding the most beautiful card I could...sometimes it involved more than one store. I never cared how much her card cost either because I knew how much she loved getting it....and mine was the prettiest.
     
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  20. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I can really relate to what you are saying, @Chrissy Page . Even though I had to scrimp for birthday and Mother's Day cards for my mom, it was something that was always a priority for me. Since I am/was and only child, I didn't have the consideration of needing to have the prettiest one of anyone else's card; but i just wanted it to be the prettiest that I could find so that my mom would know how much I loved her.
    When I was in school, they had those beautiful Valentine's Day hearts with the flowers and ribbon on top, and all kinds of chocolates inside. I would go without lunch , starting after Christmas vacation, and save up my lunch money so I could buy my mom the big valentine heart for Valentine's Day.
    She always scolded me for not eating my lunches; but she always loved the hearts and saved the beautiful boxes after the chocolates were all gone. They were all still there in her closet, and I found them after she and my dad had died and I was going through everything.
    I think that the first Mother's Day after she died was the hardest time ever.
    I remember, I thought I would be fine to go to church; but then they started the festivities, and I started crying and had to leave and go home.
    I carried starts from some of her flowers that were in their yard along with me for years, and through more moves than I could count. It just made me feel connected to look at an iris and know it was related to the ones my mom grew in her garden.
    Sometimes now, I dream about her, and I enjoy it when my mother and father show up in my dreams.
     
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  21. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Yes, even after I quit sending cards to many people for Christmas and other holidays I always sent my mother a card and even at Christmas she would get her own. She lived with my youngest sister for the last 18 years or so but I always sent her a separate card. While the others got one from a box of cards, my mom would get a special one that I bought individually.

    It's nice that you had the starts from her flowers, @Yvonne Smith. I can imagine how special those were!
     
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  22. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Sorry that you didn't have your mom as long as some of us have, yes we are lucky.

    Your description of your mother reminds me of mine, Ruby....they seem very similar....the cleaning, the cooking, the lipstick, looking good when she just went to the grocery store.

    Reading yours and Yvonne's posts has bought tears to my eyes....but it's all good. :)
     
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  23. Ruby Begonia

    Ruby Begonia Very Well-Known Member
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    This was a prayer request for Chrissy, my post is in the wrong place, sorry. I deleted it.
     
    #73
  24. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    You should have left it Ruby...,made me go look for a pic of my mom.

    image.jpeg
     
    #74
  25. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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