Now I'm Older

Discussion in 'Happy Talk' started by Holly Saunders, Aug 21, 2017.

  1. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    ...after all is said and done, I've decided the tortoise life is for me.. here's why...


    1. If walking was good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
    2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
    3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
    4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

    And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
    I'm retired. Go around me.
    God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good
    fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

    Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

    1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
    3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
    4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
    5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
    6. If all is not lost, where is it?
    7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
    8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the lamp post.
    9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
    10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
    11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
    12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
    13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in
    the bathroom.
    14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
    15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play
    chess?
    16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
    17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
    18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go
    somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter
    19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
     
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  2. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Oh my goodness sake - love them 'ALL' :p
    Thanks for the big grins :D
     
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  3. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Very Well-Known Member
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    #3
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  4. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    That is too funny!!!

    IMG_5159.JPG
     
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  5. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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