My Ancestors Story

Discussion in 'Tall Tales & Fabrications' started by Ted Richards, Oct 29, 2017.

  1. Ted Richards

    Ted Richards Well-Known Member
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    As many of you know I'm very interested in my ancient ancestors and read everything I can find on the subject. This is how I think it went.

    2 Million Years Ago in Africa

    Our family left the kraal that morning for the daily hunt, the women for tubers and seed pods by the river and the men for meat. We weren’t fussy, grubs, bones from carcass, eggs, whatever. About midday, I spotted a female ostrich on a nest. We talked about this for a bit. The rainy season was coming soon and this is the time of hunger for us and the ostrich are laying eggs now. If we could snatch a few of those eggs, there would be happiness around the fire tonight! The problem is, there are several females laying in the same nest and then there is the male to consider…Any of these birds can kill us! Very dangerous to fool with ostrich! But the eggs are very good, maybe worth the risk. We are a big family, lots of men and boys, so we decide that Uncle George and I and cousin Hugh and my little brother, we will be the egg snatchers because we all have good legs and can run very fast! We have four big carry baskets that will hold three eggs each and we will take those with us. The rest of the family will draw off this female and try to distract the others when they show up. They will get into that patch of big rocks and brush over there. We will have to be very quiet and camouflage ourselves with brush to sneak up on the nest because ostrich can hear really well and they can see very well too. Ok, now we have a plan, now we have to do it, and boy am I scared!

    My other uncles and father and baby brothers go to the rocks. The female is off the nest now and watching everywhere! Uncle Henry runs out of the rocks and waves his arms and she is going for him! We start moving quietly toward the nest as fast as we can. Uncle Henry is back in the rocks now and she can’t get to him then Uncle Joe peeks out from another rock and waves his arms, we are at the nest now, seven big eggs! We start loading them up as uncle Henry and Uncle Joe keep her busy. OH! OH! I see the male, he is coming! We lie very still, maybe he won’t see us, now little Johnny runs out of the rocks and back and the male chases him! We move back very quietly to a brushy ravine with our treasures.

    That afternoon we return to the thorn brush kraal with much singing, for it has been a very good day! Seven big fresh eggs for our family and no one hurt! The women and girls are overjoyed too; they also had a good day with many cattail tubers and a few onions. We will feast tonight! Only one is missing, my half-brother Unee. He is very strange; he left the kraal after we did without a word to anyone and went north toward the big fire. We are all afraid of fire but not Unee, it seems to fascinate him. The sun is nearly down before I see him coming and he is carrying something, it looks like a warthog!

    He is so excited and we are glad to see him and a warthog? It doesn’t look right; it looks burned and smells like smoke! He says it is burned, he found it when the fire went on and the earth was black. He said he was hungry and cut some meat off it with his stone flake. He said it is easier to cut and tastes better. So we who are brave and not afraid of anything, we cut some meat off it too and ate it! It tastes good and we are all hungry so we all ate it up until there was no more that was fit to eat. We ate some of the tubers too but we decided to save the eggs for morning.

    That is how I came to like ham and eggs.
     
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  2. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Good story! :)
     
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