Just For Laughs

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Allie Seay, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,109
    Likes Received:
    24,787
    “O, the apple butter paddle is all in splinters now,
    mother wore it out by ticklin’ me”.
     
    #1051
    Dwight Ward and Tony Page like this.
  2. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,109
    Likes Received:
    24,787
    Yeah, TikTok is a Chinese social media thing and most of it is definitely stupid.
    I am not on that platform but some of it comes on YouTube and sometimes I find stuff that I like.
     
    #1052
  3. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,804
    Likes Received:
    9,939
    It also has the cutest little animal videos and smart kids.
     
    #1053
    Tony Page and Bobby Cole like this.
  4. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 30, 2021
    Messages:
    5,903
    Likes Received:
    11,090
    I tell my kids, I don't have alzheimers. I've always been this way-- and I have!
     
    #1054
  5. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,804
    Likes Received:
    9,939
    LO< mr too at times.
    I ask the kid to hand me something rthen forget the name of what I wanted. They would just look at each other like o_O. Then I'd just say figure it out and hand the darn thing to me. They knew.
     
    #1055
    Bobby Cole and Mary Stetler like this.
  6. Tony Nathanson

    Tony Nathanson Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2023
    Messages:
    895
    Likes Received:
    1,782
    A fifteen-year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?”
    He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”
    “With what money!?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
    “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
    The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?” they asked.
    “It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “Don’t know her name — they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
    “Oh my goodness!” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”
    So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she has sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
    “Well,” she said, "I thought my husband was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back. This morning I got a phone call from my husband he claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.
     
    #1056
  7. Tony Nathanson

    Tony Nathanson Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2023
    Messages:
    895
    Likes Received:
    1,782
    When chemists die, they barium.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
     
    #1057
    Shirley Martin and Mary Stetler like this.
  8. Tony Nathanson

    Tony Nathanson Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2023
    Messages:
    895
    Likes Received:
    1,782
    Writers & politicians have one thing in common: Both prefer short sentences.
     
    #1058
    Shirley Martin and Mary Stetler like this.
  9. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2021
    Messages:
    3,545
    Likes Received:
    8,489
    I called the incontinence hotline. They asked if I could hold

    Children are the leading cause of old age

    A retired husband is a wife’s full-time job

    One benefit of old age is that your secrets are safe with your friends — they can’t remember them either!

    With old age comes wisdom… and discounts!
     
    #1059
  10. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    8,854
    Likes Received:
    15,499
    #1060
  11. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,804
    Likes Received:
    9,939
    My friend asks me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was, it was a complete guess, but I was right.
     
    #1061
  12. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2021
    Messages:
    3,545
    Likes Received:
    8,489
    I get it!!!
     
    #1062
  13. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2021
    Messages:
    10,804
    Likes Received:
    9,939
    I like to watch these now and then. Congrats Tony, sometimes they make me have to think.
     
    #1063
  14. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,109
    Likes Received:
    24,787
    In this joke we find 3 old gentleman sitting at the nursing home talking about which age is the worse.

    The 70 year old claimed that being his age was the worst because he’d stand in front of the toilet for long periods of time just to urinate but alas, just little sprinkles.
    The 80 year old said, “that ain’t the worse cause when I want to do #2, I can’t. I’ve eaten bran, taken laxatives and it still takes me an hour or so to go”.

    When the 90 year old’s time came to speak, he told the others that they didn’t have any problems at all and that being 90 was the worse.
    The 70 year old spoke up and asked, you mean that at 90 you can urinate?
    Yup said the nonagenarian. Like a 20 year old and precisely at 6:00 AM.
    And ya mean that you can do #2 easily, the 80 year old asked? Absolutely! From 0630-0631 and I’m done.

    Well, if you urinate precisely at 0600 and do number 2 at 0630, what can be the problem?

    The 90 year old, looking sheepishly at the other two seniors quietly said, “I wake up at 7”.
     
    #1064
  15. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,109
    Likes Received:
    24,787

Share This Page