My little college team won a game today and I have decided to retire. I have been coaching this team all season and have decided I'm getting too old to advise this team. I announced my deccision before the game, win, lose, or draw, I was quitting. Today's win cinched the Big Twelve Championship. Our defense performed well, stopping Texas when they had to and our offense was good enough to win. I've never been an armchair quarterback, preferring instead to coach the coaches from the comfort of my comfy chair in my living room, before the big screen, telling them when to pass, when a first down was a necessity, when to run the clock out. It's been a successful season but I'm through, I'm tired. I'm going to take up another hobby now, one not so stressful, one more appealing to my position in life where I can relax and smell the roses. Wish me luck, sports fans.