Recently I was invited out for dinner. I was to meet a few friends at a local restaurant after work. So I drove there and waited, after about 15 minutes I called and asked where they were, the weather has been very poor and I was concerned they had perhaps found trouble on the road. I was told, no they forgot their wallet and had to stop home but they were on their way. The distance was maybe 10 minutes away If even that. After 25 additional minutes I called again and was told they were driving. Mind you I was sitting in a parking lot that was about 6 degree's. I waited another 15 minutes then started the car and left. How long would be acceptable to you to wait for someone that planned to meet you someplace before you would leave?
I'm bad about that sort of thing, perhaps because I'm not all that sociable to begin with. I am, however, always punctual, and if something gets in the way of my being punctual, I wouldn't be offended if someone were to not wait. I would probably have left if they were five minutes late.
This is one of those things that's kind of a catch-22 because of the way we've been raised. We are taught from an early age - "Don't be rude!". So in the scenario you've presented, I don't want to leave - that would be rude. I don't want to keep calling them and pestering them about when they'll be there - that would be rude. But we never consider that they are the ones being rude to us. And I would bet, that even they don't see it that way - I'm sure that when they arrived (if they ever did) and found you gone, they were mad at you, thinking that you have been rude. I think you did the right thing. I think sometimes we need to push back when people are taking advantage of us. Maybe next time, they will be a little more considerate and be on time.
I am punctual and if I am running late I will call the person and let eythem know. It was not acceptable for them to not call you and tell you that they were running late. I would have told them on the 2nd phone call that I was no longer waiting it is too late and I am cold let's reschedule.
I think that Pat has a very good solution, to have told them after that second phone call that you were too cold and were leaving. It certainly was their responsibility to let you know that they were going to be late, and since they were only a 10-minute drive away, expecting them to show up after they said they had to go back for the billfold seems reasonable to me. You waited almost an hour, with NO communication iniated by them at all. I think I would probably have either waited until they arrived, or called again just to say that I was leaving; but I certainly think that you would not be obligated to do either one since they made no effort to contact you.
I always try my best to be punctual. If I run into anything that I assume will cause me to be late I will promptly notify the person of the situation. I do hope that they wait on me but I would not be offended if they didn't wait as I am the one who was late in the first place.
Did you ever hear from these friends again? To be honest I don't blame you for getting fed up after waiting all that time, and they never once called you. No, you had to call them and then was told they would be there soon. Only they didn't show up when they said they would. If I had been in that position I don't know if I would of left, although waiting that long was ridiculous. I can see someone being fifteen maybe even a half hour late, but an hour. Anyway, if it had been me I might have just gone into the restaurant and waited a bit longer. At least then I would of been out of the cold doing so.