So far so good today. Still waiting for that other shoe to drop again. If we can go 2 weeks without incident I'll actually be encouraged. How bizarre. Finding somebody at random you can discuss political matters with calmly seems pretty rare though. But then aren't things pretty polarized and split fairly evenly down the middle? That suggests 50-50 odds. We've even reached a compromise on the hot-button issue of Brussels sprouts.
It gets tough trying to engage as part of someone's life at such a distance. Does anyone know if this old fart's idea was any good in this context? I asked her for advice about selecting a houseplant, since one is in bad shape here from the dry air from Winter heating. Gave her specifics: not large - a tabletop plant, room has good sun when the sun is out, but where I'd place it the sunlight is indirect, tolerant of cool dry air. Mentioned a couple I was considering. She seemed to perk up to help and offered several possibilities. I'm not trying to game her, just feed the relationship considering our constraints.
Yuck it up ladies. No, I wasn't scared a bit even before your help. Not at all. LOL So she goes out tonight to meet friends at a shit kicker music bar. In the middle of it texts me about how it is so loud. She gets home and texts that she'd like to call (why not just call?) at 11:30, since she's getting into bed. Then complains that her legs and ass are cold and how dare I not be there to warm her up. I figured her feet would be even colder, but she says no. Says maybe she should have worn PJ bottoms but before I can say anything she says she has a nightgown on, don't be a perve. Then we talk for 2 hours until she falls asleep on me once, wakes up and we talk a little more, then hang up and I'm supposed to call when I wake up to say "good morning." I guess we're trying to make this as "real" as we can.
It sounds like things are working out better, @Jacob Petersheim , and at the very least, you are enjoying the friendship now, and that is always a good thing. I hope that everything keeps on going well for both of you, and all of the drama was just a bump in the road of life.
Thanks Yvonne. Yes, we're being a pair of silly old crocks for the way we're going about this. Another day has passed though and so far so good. The long winded phone calls are probably an attempt to simulate face-to-face time in a post-dating early relationship. Surely we'd drive each other insane with so much talking if we were in the same room. I hope we can smoothly transition to normality when things go further. It is probably easy to set unrealistic expectations by doing this for too long. In real life that are parts of each day when a couple is together and nobody says much at all. Those are more difficult to simulate via phone calls. You don't have the sense of presence or the small sounds as each person does their own thing.
Just received this a bit ago: I'm trying to think of other ways to facilitate this. Maybe video calls, by appointment at least at first.
When Bobby and I first met, it was at a Christian website online where people could chat with each other, and that is what we did, and then went to daily emails. Neither of us even had a cell phone back then, and I was in North Idaho and Bobby was in North Carolina, and we both worked full time. Because of the time difference, and the cost of long distance phone calls back then, we mostly just emailed each other; but Yahoo had an online video chat and sometimes we could use that to visit (when we could get it to connect right with the old dial-up modems). I had to get up at about 3:30 to talk in the morning, because of the time difference, and that was 6:30 for Bobby. On the other hand, it was after 7 at night before I got home from work, which was after 10 for him, so we would visit online a little then; but I still had to go outside afterwards and take care of the horses, goat, llama, etc. We were still able to mostly share how our days had gone for each of us, and it was something that we both looked forward to. We wrote so much to each other, that we probably would not have known each other any better if we had lived where we could see each other. So there are some positive things to be said for long-distance relationships.
This whole thing can get pretty difficult. I sure don't think in terms like this, and I believe most guys don't devote a lot of headspace to "relationship" issues. It might be different for other people though. And my sense of it (which may be entirely incorrect) is that this is something that comes more naturally to women. For me it feels like I'm juggling lit torches, always trying to be ready when somebody tosses me another one to add to the performance in progress. At least being retired I have the time to do the thinking "offline" from our interactions. Otherwise I'd have long ago walked away with this being too much work. At least it feels like new torches aren't being added to the mix any further. One or two might already have been eliminated.
Egad. I was brushing my teeth and a weird thought came to me. Somewhere in one of our discussions I volunteered that I have two fillings and two root canals with crowns. I don't recall anything that detailed in return though, but I didn't ask. No shade cast on folks with more serious new construction in their mouths, I have plenty else wrong with me, ok? But whew, the idea of considering dental work when choosing a partner at an older age just hadn't occurred to me. Maybe I meet this woman, she sneezes, and the choppers end up clattering on the floor like a novelty gag pair?