For the past week, I have felt like my house has been invaded by the most annoying handyman in the world. He eventually gets things done, I hope, and he works cheap, but that's about all that I can think of that might be positive. I am almost convinced that my wife did this to me on purpose. Because I hadn't gotten around to doing it for the past couple of months, she hired this guy to strip some old wallpaper, and make some repairs on one wall of our bedroom. That involved a few days of constant hammering and hourly updates on a job that I wasn't really so interested in to begin with. After that, she put him to work straightening out a toilet that some other handyman had installed slightly crooked in our upstairs bathroom, and that job is on its third day now. To make things worse, everything he says is said loudly, and everything has to be said immediately, and without regard for whether I am on the phone with someone or busy working. After finally getting through to a real person at the Social Security office, this guy came in, after my wife had already told him to go ahead and get another one, to explain to me that he had broken a flange, whatever that is. I didn't know what it was, didn't care, and couldn't understand why he couldn't simply go buy another one. The whole toilet cost just over a hundred bucks, so how expensive can a flange be? But no, he launched into what was surely going to be a long explanation of how the flange got broken, how important it was, and what it might cost to get a new one, all of it at a volume that I could have heard from across the street, and I've got this guy from Social Security on the phone. I guess I was rude, and my wife is mad at me now because she finally found someone who would do all the stuff that I have been putting off for months, and so on, but at least she was speaking at a more normal volume, so I guess I still came out ahead in the deal, or that would be the case if not for the fact that this guy is going to go home eventually, hopefully, and my wife will still be mad at me.