Diplomacy is sometimes absent in the home especially when the couple has many kids who are teenagers. Some parents make a habit of reprimanding their erring children that sometimes rebellion on the part of the young would lead to something unpleasant like leaving home or engaging in vices. When there is a problem at home, I find that a diplomatic approach is the best. When I am angry, my husband would be quiet but listening. When I stop talking, he would remind me that we need to be selective with our words and that a discussion need not be a heated one. That would always calm me down.
I guess your husband has the right approach. By not allowing himself to get all heated as well, which causes an argument most of the time he just stays quiet and lets you vent, then reminds you calmly that there is a diplomatic way to settle things. Maybe if more of us had that approach we wouldn't have so many fights in the home. I know that in my house there are fights that break out. This comes from individuals whether they are related are not who have different personalities clashing.