Court Rules Parents Can Kick Their 30 Year Old Son Out Of House

Discussion in 'In the News' started by Ken Anderson, May 23, 2018.

  1. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    A New York court ruled in favor of the parents, permitting them to kick their 30-year-old freeloading son out of the house. To me, the real news is that something this nutty would actually even make it to court.
     
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  2. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Very Well-Known Member
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    We as a society are trying to keep our children from ever becoming adults. One example is keeping children on health insurance until 26. Many people have their own families by the time they are 26 years old, but are still on their parents' insurance. I can understand it if they are a full-time student, but I believe there should be a single age of majority. I believe it should be 21, but 18 is okay with me if they want it to be 18. That would mean you are totally responsible for yourself at that age--smoking, toking (if legal), drinking, voting, making contracts, etc. With the way Obamacare messed up healthcare, there would have to be some return to earlier days, e.g., college health plans would have to be exempt from the rules. When I (and my children) went to college, there was a college health insurance plan whose premiums were very low since college kids are basically a very healthy group. Most of those plans were non-compliant under Obamacare, so the college health plans were discontinued and the kids stayed on the parents' insurance.

    Anyway, the mood in the country seems to be to keep children children regardless of their age. I think that has been the state of things in southern Europe for some time now, as the birth rates decline. As I understand it, Italian men living with their parents well into their thirties is not uncommon.
     
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  3. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    I adopted a 7-year-old when I was in my early 20s.
     
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  4. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    A few generations ago, it was common in this country for children to remain with their parents, and even grandparents, throughout their lives, but they were doing a man's work on the farm and, at some point, supporting their parents, not the other way around.
     
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  5. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Very Well-Known Member
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    That is a different situation. I understand the Amish still practice that, and the farm goes to the youngest son instead of the oldest, as he is able to take over the farm and care for the parents (if need be) when they are ready to retire or slow down; all the other children are expected to be out of the house and on their own.
     
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  6. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    There are differences between one Amish colony and another, but that's basically correct, I think. In some, it is the practice for one child to inherit the farm but parents have had a practice of buying additional land for their other male children, generally adjacent. Daughters frequently marry into another Amish colony.
     
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  7. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    Having raised three daughters and one stepson I can honestly say I raised my children to become self-sufficient adults who when the time was right (and with each that was at a different age) they left home to be on their own.

    At 21 many young adults are not self-sufficient as they have not finished College or Vocational School nor obtained jobs that would allow them to be able to live on their own. I did not set an age when my kids had to be out of our home and on their own...but as long as they were living at home certain things were expected of them such as still obeying house rules, having a part time job while in school to pay for their extras. They paid no rent or for meals, etc. as long as they were furthering their education but anything personal such as their clothes, car insurance, etc. became their responsibility when they graduated High School. My young adults were welcome in their home as long as they were working towards becoming self-sufficient and respecting home rules as well as helping at home too.

    I would have never tolerated a 30 year old adult child mooching off us and thinking we were his servants, etc. This is where the problems today lies to me. Parents are spoiling their children rotten and not teaching them responsibility or self-sufficiency. When you give a child...no matter what age everything they want and do not make them responsible for anything...they have everything they could want and see no reason to leave this perfect set up. Take away that perfect set up...and they will have to grow up and become self-sufficient.

    All three of my daughters are married with families and homes of their own. They also went to College and are self-sufficient, one a Teacher, one a Registered Nurse, and one a Respiratory Therapist with a degree also in Hospital Administration.

    We can't blame our children for not growing up...if we have done nothing to help them do just that.
     
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  8. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Very Well-Known Member
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    I lived with my parents until age 33, when I left to be married.

    Up until then I paid them a generous Room and Board from my weekly pay.

    I did not "sponge" off my parents, and looked with disfavor on those who did.

    Hal
     
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    Last edited: May 26, 2018
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  9. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I left the house when I was 19. Both my kids left when they started college but for 8 years until they became Dentists they did come home for summer...at least the first 4 years.

    Once in Dental school they stayed the summer..especially the last year or two when they had clinic if I recall.
     
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  10. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    My son moved out as soon as he graduated from high school, then came back a few months later, and that was fine. I was living in a two-bedroom townhouse and making pretty good money working for Champion Paper Company, so it's not as if there wasn't room. He stayed with me, and was working, until I moved from California to Texas when he was twenty and about to get married. I didn't ask or expect him to pay his way while he was there because I didn't need it and would rather he have a bank account. As a wedding present, I paid the rent up for six months, at about $1300 a month, which I thought would give him a start. Other than health problems, he did pretty good for himself, is still married to the girl he married at twenty, and has raised two boys.

    Parents should not be obligated to support their adult children but I see nothing wrong with them doing so if it's not an imposition, and if it isn't being taken for granted. Our generation was able to find good jobs with a high school education, but that's harder to do today, in no small part because of massive immigration. When parents can afford to do so, it might make sense for them to continue to support their children through college, or until they are able to be out on their own.

    What I don't like is the feeling of entitlement that too many young adults have today. When I see people arguing about being unable to support a family one what they earn working behind the counter at McDonalds, I have to wonder why they think that McDonalds should be forced to pay them more rather than taking it on themselves to find a better job. Along with this are those who think they should be able to buy a house on what they earn in a first job.

    I lived in a cheap hotel long-term until I could save up enough money for a security deposit and first and last month's rent for an apartment. I shared apartments, and rented a house with three roommates. I was in my 30s before I owned my own home, and in my 50s before I owned a home that was paid for. Others have worked full-time while attending college, and these were givens during our generation.

    The problem isn't that some kids are supported by their parents into young adulthood, but that too many people feel that it's their right to have everything given to them.
     
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  11. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    My kids could afford to continue supporting my grandson but the rule is you don't finish college which they are paying for totally plus giving him a generous allowance of $500 a month plus a credit card for emergencies..but if he fails or drops out he's on his own.

    Get a job wherever you can and pay for your rent, car, gas, food etc.

    They did all they could for him to start him out and he's smart enough to not fail..if he does, it's his own doing.
     
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  12. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    It's really expensive to live on your own now days...especially if you don't have a College education or Vocational training...so I can see why a lot of adult children may need to stay longer at home. But no matter how long they stay they have no right to think their parents are just going to keep picking up the tab for all their wants and needs.
     
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  13. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Greeter
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    I watched the video of his interview on CNN (and even that liberal news source seems not to support him), and this guy repeatedly says that he is only thinking about himself, and thinks that he has the right to live there, regardless of what his parents want.
    Even though they have been trying for months to get him to move out, he is still expecting to have anoth 6 months to move, and has no intention of actually getting a job of any kind.
    He vaguely references “being able to have enough money”; but with no explanation of where that money will come from, or when that might happen.

    I can’t see how he can still stay there. Even though he is living with his parents, it would seem that landlord/tenant laws would still apply and he could be evicted like any other person who lives in a non-owned property.

    As @Ken Anderson mentioned, I can’t see why something like this should even have to be decided in a court like this, and he should just have left when told he needed to move and be responsible for his own life. However, he seems to think that it is perfectly all right to keep expecting his parents to feed and support him.
    At the same time, he is lamenting the loss of his son. Since he can’t even take responsibility for HIS life, how on earth can he expect to be given rights and responsibility for his child ?
    This is truly an example of the snowflake thought processes, it seems to me. Everything is all about him, and no thoughts at all for the rights of anyone else, including his family.

     
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  14. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    They have a lot of shows on Dr. Phil with parents who are trying to get their adult children out of their homes. Yet most of the parents on those shows admit they are paying for everything their child wants, etc. and not making those adult children pay for anything. The adult children walk all over those parents and treat them horribly too. You can tell lots of times that the parents are scared to death of their adult children and what they might do if they try to make them leave. Some of the adult children have threatened their parents and some have even abused them. The adult children seem to think their parents owe them everything for just bringing them into this world. Some of those adult children have basically said they are going to inherit everything anyway so why not spend it now, etc,

    I have seen Dr. Phil help some of these parents, but a lot of the time I can tell the parents are just going to go back home and keep letting those adult children live in their homes and keep right on doing what they have been doing to their parents. The parents are just to afraid of standing up to their adult children in many cases and other times they are afraid of what will happen to their kids if they just put them out on the streets. I also noticed that often one parent feels one way about the situation and the other feels another way...so they are not sticking together or in agreement about the adult child leaving and you can bet the adult child takes advantage of that.
     
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