Christmas cake Christmas Cake Recipe - for those of my dear friends who can't remember last year's cake recipe. As usual I am here to be helpful. ... Ingredients: * 2 cups flour * 1 stick butter * 1 bottle of brandy * 1 cup of water * 1 tsp baking soda * 1 cup of sugar * 1 bottle of whisky * 1 tsp salt * 1 cup of brown sugar * Lemon juice * 4 large eggs * 1 bottle of vodka * Nuts * 2 bottles wine * 2 cups of dried fruit Method: Sample the wine and the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Sample the brandy. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is still OK. Also test that the whisky has not gone rancid. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.. Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the akvavit, whisky, vodka, and brandy and wipe counter with the cat. Take a taxi to Woolworths and buy a bottle of cognac. Bingle Jells............. Anonymou