Christmas Cake

Discussion in 'Recipes' started by Sheldon Scott, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. Sheldon Scott

    Sheldon Scott Veteran Member

    Mar 13, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Christmas cake

    Christmas Cake Recipe - for those of my dear friends who can't remember last
    year's cake recipe. As usual I am here to be helpful.

    * 2 cups flour
    * 1 stick butter
    * 1 bottle of brandy
    * 1 cup of water
    * 1 tsp baking soda
    * 1 cup of sugar
    * 1 bottle of whisky
    * 1 tsp salt
    * 1 cup of brown sugar
    * Lemon juice
    * 4 large eggs
    * 1 bottle of vodka
    * Nuts
    * 2 bottles wine
    * 2 cups of dried fruit


    Sample the wine and the vodka to check quality.

    Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest
    quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.
    Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Sample the brandy. Add
    one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure
    the vodka is still OK. Also test that the whisky has not gone rancid. Try
    another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and
    add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

    Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried
    druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver..
    Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.
    Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
    nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you
    can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to
    fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl
    through the window. Finish the akvavit, whisky, vodka, and brandy and
    wipe counter with the cat. Take a taxi to Woolworths and buy a bottle
    of cognac.

    Bingle Jells.............

    Chrissy Cross and Yvonne Smith like this.
  2. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member

    Aug 11, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Lol, you must be making it Sheldon.....Kate posted a similar recipe. :)

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