And It All Started When...

Discussion in 'Food & Drinks' started by Bobby Cole, Jan 22, 2015.

  1. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    2,759
    Way back when, in a day when there were only two people on earth and in a small garden called Eden, we find our two young population starters hard at work. Adam the Biblical male, was busy naming all of his new pets while we see Eve, the original first lady, on her hands and knees looking for and naming potential food in which to BBQ.

    Eve was digging and suddenly came up with a long thin orange colored looking thing. Brushing it off and taking a bite she yelled, ÄDAM! Lookest what thing I hast found! Adam, just naming his pet anteater, then replied, ¨I wast busy, but didst hear thou calling my name and proclaiming that thou hast named our food.¨ (Adam had a pretty good IQ) Eve then said, ¨Indeed, I shall calleth it a Carrot!¨ And Adam saw that it was good, and it was good.
    Eve then dug up a brown, roundish sort of thing and brushed it off and then took a bite and yelled, ÄDAM!! I, thine wife which God hath appointed to work with thee hath found another good thing to eatest. Adam looked up from his newly named Crocodile, and said,¨surely thou art quick. It wast not but 2 twitches of my pet Aardvarks tail in which thou didst call me last!¨ Then Eve said to Adam, ¨but dearest husband of mine who sacrificed his rib that I would be with thee to labor and love, I have named a new food. I shall calleth it a Potato.¨ Adam saw that it was good, and it was good.
    Adam went back to his naming and Eve went back to her crawling around when then it happened. Eve got her face out of the dirt and looked up and saw.............and she said with a certain velvet feeling in her voice...oh Aaaaadddaaaammmmm.........I thinkest thou mayest like this.....Then all of Hell broke loose!!

    This was the beginning of food and how everything got it´s name. Now, what say we cook some!
     
    #1
    Ken Anderson likes this.
  2. Peter Remington

    Peter Remington Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    96
    Verily, I say unto thee, thou dost hast goteth the very worstest King James accent I hast everest heardest!
     
    #2
    Yvonne Smith likes this.
  3. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    2,759
    What can I say Peter? Didn't you know that Adam and Eve were born in the south? Yes, that's right. Southern Mesopotamia. Land of the Euphrates, Tigris, and Sidon rivers where every southern Mesopotamian knows you can catch the best catfish and have some of the best hushpuppies a person could want.
    So, you just have to put a southern drawl on the Elizebethian "thang" and you've got it.
     
    #3
    Yvonne Smith likes this.
  4. Peter Remington

    Peter Remington Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    96
    Methinks thou doth protest too much, y'all.
     
    #4
    Diane Lane and Yvonne Smith like this.
  5. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    2,759
    Ah, but Peter, Did the lady indeed protesteth too much? Did she have to do the cooking and the cleaning up afterward? No, Hamlet did! It should have been him who said, "Where's my grits woman! But noooooo, Did she give Hamlet his grits? Nope. No cat fish, no hushpuppies, no grits and no.......not that either! What did she have to protest about anyway. She probably couldn't cook anything but potroast. Which, for the rest of the forum, is absolutely succulent especially if you deglase the pot with a little dry sherry and then make a light rioux (laced with a little extra cayene) to thicken the rest of the sauce. Best served with a nice Red Cabernet with a real cork and not the screw off lid.
    Now, where was I.....oh yeah.......That dern lady who wants to protest about womens lib. I say, let her open her own carriage door!!
     
    #5
  6. Peter Remington

    Peter Remington Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    96
    What ho! There be amongst us yon gourmet methinks. Willst thou compel him to tell us what's for dinner forsooth? For I do lack the means to cook my food beyond the most mundane yet upon a steady diet of hot pockets I canst but wither and die in most ignoble flatulence anon.
     
    #6
    Bobby Cole likes this.
  7. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    2,759
    Peter, Peter! I am flabergasted beyondst whatst twas and whatst is! To heck with that junk. No cooking huh. Now, just lie back and tell me about it. Do you hate your mother for all of the broccoli she served? Did your father make you eat your creamed peas? Is that the problem? When you try to cook with wines and the directions say you can use the boxed wines did you try to cook the box too? Is that the problem? Well, you, for only $19.99 in this forum special can learn to eat healthy and not pass gas for a month! Roasted Rock Cornish Game Hen with seedless white grape stuffing and buttered shirred asparagus spears. Not a toot! Broiled Red Snapper with saute'd lump crab meat. Never an upturned nose! Order your copy today. AND, if you order within the next 10 minutes we will also include the "how to blame someone else for the ham and cheese hot pocket blues!"
     
    #7
  8. Peter Remington

    Peter Remington Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    96
    What?! You mean the offer doesn't come complete with Ginsu knives?!?! No Deal!

    Actually, Bobby, my wife was the one who got herself interested in--and good at!--cooking in our house and she often insisted that I 'help'. Now that she is gone, I've never quite been able to bring myself to go back into the kitchen. My policy is that if it can't be eaten cold or easily microwaved, it doesn't go into my mouth. Even stirring up a box of mac and cheese seems too much trouble for these lazy old bones. Thank heavens for Stouffer's.
     
    #8
  9. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    2,759
    Well Peter, we shall have to help you out a little. I did have two occupations. One in the Christian arena and one in the secular. The secular was Food and Beverage and I have been a professional consultant for some pretty major hotels and restaurants, not to mention that I owned 2 successful restaurants which 2 x-wives can attest to. To do so properly I also had to obtain the title of Chef and prove my worth. It's amazing to think about it. I have been involved with the homeless ministry for nearly 25 years and concurently involved in food and beverage for nearly 40. Knowing the ins and out's of each has helped me to procure food and teach jobless and homeless people how to cook. So........let me put a couple of things together in the culinary side of my brain box and let's see if I (and others) can come up with some healthy and tantilizing recipes that might get you away from that vitamin eating expensive coffee warmer called the dreaded microwave.
    Perhaps something that ended up looking like a Trekie figure might give you a little more initiative to cook. On second thought, no, because you would probably shellac it and put it proudly on a shelf with your other crafts.
     
    #9
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2015
    Peter Remington likes this.
  10. Peter Remington

    Peter Remington Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    96
    Yeah, I'd love to stay around and chat, Bobby, but I have to catch a bus over to Safeway to stock up on their expensive and mediocre ready made deli food.
     
    #10
    Diane Lane likes this.

Share This Page