Nursing Home & Senior Care Options

[Don Alaska]

I might have told this story already in another thread, but here goes:

My late sister's mother-in-law had to be placed in assisted living. Because of pain, she was put on some sort of patch, maybe lidocaine. Every 3 days, the old patch came off and the new patch went on. One day, she was found unresponsive in her room and was rushed to the hospital.

At the hospital, it was found that she had twelve patches on her. Twelve. Of course, the old patch still kept putting out doses of lidocaine (?) long after a couple of days. So she had twelve patches, all pumping out varying amounts of whatever substance it was.

She was in the hospital for a couple of days and snapped back just fine. When it was time for her to be released back to the living facility, they said they couldn't accept her unless my brother-in-law paid for 24-hour nursing. Oh, yes, it was THEIR fault, but they wanted HIM to pay.

A strongly-worded letter from an attorney took care of that quite quickly and they welcomed her back with open arms, considering the alternatives. Why would he want her back there, you ask? Well, it was the best one in town and she was as happy there as she would have been anywhere outside her home. AND, now they were on alert to not make any more mistakes.

Sometimes attorneys can be very helpful at little cost. As you said, a letter from a lawyer's office notifies people that the issue (whatever it is) has been brought to the attention of someone who could take them to court.

 

[Don Alaska]

My experience with nursing homes, although quite limited, has been generally positive. I have seen no evidence of mistreatment or neglect, but in all cases, there were relatives nearby who visited several times a week to check on those relatives and friends living there. I have never experienced "warehoused" patients, although I know they exist.

 

[Shirley Martin]

I hope my post about the nursing home Hubby was in doesn't scare anybody from going to one. There are a lot of them in cities near me. I haven't delt with any of them, but I know people who have. According to word of mouth, all of them are rated from good to excellent. The one he was in was sold and is under new management. It is said to be much better.

 

[Marie Miller]

My first judgement of an assisted living place, is the smell. If it smells like urine and diapers full of , then I go no further. It is a constant job keeping an assisted living place smelling good, but it speaks loudly of the care one will get there.

It depends on the individual facility.

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SIL refers to me as not family so I do not know where MIL is.

 

[Beth Gallagher]

I recall visiting my husband's grandmother in what was called an "old folks home" many years ago in Mississippi. Back then, there was a mix of terminally ill patients and people who needed minimal assistance all housed in the same building.

We visited her when our first child was a toddler, and he caused a minor sensation in the place. It was bitter sweet watching a gaggle of elderly people following a chubby toddler down the hallway, and he enjoyed the attention.

 

[Marie Mallory]

It depends on the individual facility.

Senior Living Duluth, GA | Parc Retirement Communities

Parc Communities in Duluth is a senior living communuity and an upscale retirement lifestyle choice for active seniors.

www.parcatduluth.com

SIL refers to me as not family so I do not know where MIL is.

Marie I have a sil hat feels the same, although most of them are ok.

 

[Marie Miller]

Marie I have a sil hat feels the same, although most of them are ok.

It is just hard to comprehend that a women who ran a company in a man’s world in heels turned into a perpetual complainer in need of grooming.
When she visited over Christmas I had everything from toothbrush, to clothes ready. She threw some of the pants at me. Cuddle Duds house pants. Yesterday she requested some. Requested not asked for. I have three pairs she can have, two plaid, one black. Winter merchandise is hard to find.
She is starting to fish for an invitation.

 

[Marie Mallory]

So far after much back and forth with the assisted living facility and other o[tions which Hospice is basically ruled out ,Jake will be my primary care provider, if need be I'll be hospitalized.

 

[John Brunner]

So far after much back and forth with the assisted living facility and other o[tions which Hospice is basically ruled out ,Jake will be my primary care provider, if need be I'll be hospitalized.

So why is hospice ruled out? I would have thought that your situation is what hospice is there for.

 

[Marie Mallory]

So why is hospice ruled out? I would have thought that your situation is what hospice is there for.

I'm sure it is a wonderful place for some, but since I'm fortunate to have Jake, i don't need them .First off my first experience with a crackpot worker was negative, who wanted to bring her 5 yr old with her and told me when I was having breathing problems I wsn't " allowed" to go to er.Hospice wwould end a truck with exray in a few days.
I tol them tke me off hospice.

 

[John Brunner]

I'm sure it is a wonderful place for some, but since I'm fortunate to have Jake, i don't need them .First off my first experience with a crackpot worker was negative, who wanted to bring her 5 yr old with her and told me when I was having breathing problems I wsn't " allowed" to go to er.Hospice wwould end a truck with exray in a few days.
I tol them tke me off hospice.

That's weird and infuriating. That "Send an x-ray truck in a few days" reminds me of my last colonoscopy being scheduled for 7 years rather than the 5 year intervals I've had since I turned 50. I assumed they saw my age and are rolling the dice that the odds of me being around to consume resources in 7 years are less than the odds of me being around in 5.

Some years ago I read that hospice is not just End of Life care. They are also there for rehab, trying to dispel the perception that no one who goes into hospice ever leaves. So not calling 911 when needed is interesting to hear.

So who did you talk to...a state agency? Was that woman with the 5 year old working for the state? I feel for you trying to deal with the medical industry AND the government at this stage of your life. I've been real aggressive with doctors the past few years, basically becoming the I Don't Give A Damn About Your Feelings old guy. I don't know if things have changed or if I've been fortunate enough to not really need them for anything too complex before now.

The only people you and Jake have an obligation to be nice to is yourselves and each other. Polite But Firm is the starting place...escalate from there. You have my permission.