Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the Participation Award.
When I had embraced widowhood long enough and thought maybe there was a chance for future happiness out there, I waded into the over-60 dating pool, hoping to meet Mr. Right.
I found out the pool needed a little more chlorine and a good scrubbing.
I met Mr. Wrong, Mr. Bitter, Mr. Alcoholic, Mr. Unhappy, Mr. Broke, Mr. Looking-for-a-Nurse, Mr. Looking-For-A-Purse, Mr. Looking-For-A-Nurse-AND-A-Purse, Mr. Given-Up-On-Life, Mr. I'll-Never-Trust-a-Woman-Again-I've-Been-So-Wronged, Mr. Still-Married, Mr.-All-But-Divorced-But-Staying-Together-For-The-Dogs, Mr. I-Think-I-Might-Be-Gay and the rest of his cousins. Quite often, it was a case of split personalities, and he was several of those at the same time. I even met Mr. Been-Married-Seven-Times-and-Looking-For-An-Eighth. Pleasant guy, but I wasn't interested in being #8.
I thought, maybe, I'd specify "widower", thinking I might find someone who had had a happy marriage and would be amenable to getting married again. I did have dates with two widowers. One took me out six times but never kissed me because he felt he was cheating on his wife, who had been gone TEN years. The other one, when I asked how long since his wife died, said "It'll be TWO weeks next Thursday" (this was on a Saturday, so the lady had been gone for nine days).
I did meet one nice guy who I had a lot in common with, but he had custody of a 15-year-old late-in-life daughter who was d-double-dog-determined that her father WAS NOT going to be dating. On our one-and-only two-hour date, she called him *11 times* with various tales of woe....she couldn't find the tv remote, she was hungry and there was NOTHING IN THE HOUSE THAT SHE WANTED TO EAT AND HE NEEDED TO BRING HER SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY, she heard a noise outside and was sure it was a burglar, she was bored and needed a ride to the mall NOW, and the like. She was also abetted by her mother, who wasn't at all unhappy that her daughter was making sure Dad didn't have a good time. I had already dealt with my own surly teenage daughter in the past and I wasn't interested in trying dealing with his.
Finally, I met Mr.-Checked-Most-of-the-Boxes and I checked most of his boxes and we have been living in Unwedded Bliss for seventeen years now.
So, they ARE out there. You just have to wade through the swamp for a while, kissing the frogs and hoping your lips don't fall off.....