Dating in today's world

Hedi Mitchell

Hedi Mitchell

Well-known member
Nooo not me!...thank goodness those days are gone.
But all three daughters are still single..one 55- other 58- then step daughter 38.
Last night my youngest daughter 55 text me some of the things men her age are sending her and it is appalling.
For instance - Oh you so remind me of my mother,and it is really making me hot. If your curious I will tell you why.:mad:
What woman would ever want to be told that? None!
Another - if prostitution were legal in the states like some other countries, I would never be in a relationship again.
NEEEXXT..moving on. Sorry that was bad enough.My point is this- Why would middle aged men even talk like that?
Now she is looking via dating sites, which she will stop, but still just shocked that older men could be as crude as a deranged high school boy.
The oldest does not give flip about dating, and has not for years. Plus she has health issues and another, must work from dawn til midnight person
The youngest - retired military woman, PTSD, and some physical aliments from being over seas during the war. She has dogs, and a dove, and seems not to fret over not having a partner of any kind.No wonder they just wanna stay single.
I have pointed out to them before, there are many a skanky woman also, it can not be just men.

What are your thoughts on this? do you know single people who would like a long term relationship but can't find one?
BTW I kept it clean vs some actual language from these so called men.
 
I'm guessing the men being encountered and expressing themselves in that way is the reason they are not already in a relationship. Many of the good ones are taken and have been for decades. My older sons have been married for over 20 years, and my younger sons are in stable first marriages with families.
 
I think I have been married too long to have an opinon on dating in todays world. :DIf something happened to my husband I wouldn’t be interested in dating at all! I am set in my ways and I am not willing to compromise. I would stay happily single.

I have never understood the dating sites. I would never use something like that, but lots of people do. My brother told me of a man living in his area that "ordered a bride" from Bulgaria, or someplace foreign. The man had 3 failed marriages and couldn't find a lady to date so decided to go this route for a wife. 🤷‍♀️
 
I've never really understood dating. Perhaps that's why I was 48 before I married, but I don't know of a time when I set out to get someone to go on a date with me. Nevertheless, I spent a fair amount of time with girls during my high school years, but then I got busy afterwards, working, going to school, and raising a son. I never asked anyone out on a date in high school. Instead, I would go places with friends, and sometimes we'd pair off. I attended nearly every home football game, although I don't think I ever even looked at the playing field. Instead, I'd find others who couldn't care less about football, and we'd go do something else. Sometimes, that person was a girl. As it turned out, a lot of people who attended high school football games weren't interested in the game. You couldn't do that with high school basketball because everyone was in bleachers, with only a narrow path to walk between the bleachers and the court.
 
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I don't know anything about dating sites; I just know it is a very different world than when I was young and dating. From my vantage point age-wise, I now know that 50-something is actually pretty young and I can see how some people would still be looking for companionship at that age.

In a way, it seems that your daughter has an advantage, @Hedi Mitchell . She is able to screen out the creeps without ever wasting time going out with them.
 
I do know sometimes long-married couples become kinda reliant on having a partner. Sometimes the partner dies and the spouse follows a short time later; other times, they marry a close friend who is also widowed. My brother is going through that withdrawal kind of stuff. He lost his wife of 50 years to breast cancer, and his SIL, who lost her husband shortly before my brother's wife died. He looks after his SIL and they make sure each is still alive at least once a week. I don't think my brother really "dates" anyone though, but he visits his wife's relatives often. Brother has no children.
 
I know that dating today is a vastly different landscape that from when I last dated in 1987. :D Back then, the guys still called for a date, picked me up, and paid for everything. Nowadays it's meet up someplace and pay for your own, which is strange to an oldie like me. I enjoyed the "dating rituals" of the past.

All my 5 best friends are now single, having been widowed or divorced. I'm the only one of our group who's still married. Not a single one of them has any interest in having another partner at all, usually commenting about enjoying making their own choices and not having anyone to clean up after. The widows do miss their husbands but don't feel that they can be replaced, especially at this age. But 70 is vastly different from 50, as far as interest in pairing off.

Oh, and one other thing... seems like most old men don't want old women. They want a younger, sleeker model. For the life of me, I can't imagine what a young woman would want with an old man. When I was young, no amount of money would have enticed me to go out with an older man; it creeped me out.
 
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It was hard to,date back when I met my hubs …in 1986 ……..i tried a method once and was shocked to the core by the responses I got

It was recommended by a man I knew, that was interested in me …but I didn’t feel the same

He’d put a classified add in the Adelaide newspaper newspaper , ( after I’d made it clear I wasn’t interested) where he met and married a lady from the Philippines who was already living in Adelaide on a visa .

So I gave it a try ….the add was strictly confidential …no photos ….no personal info in add …. .anyone seeing the add could write a letter and address it to the box number I was given for the advertiser …..and as I didn’t live in the city they forwarded any replies …( unopened ) in a business envelope to my address
what a job going through 125 replies I received…..phew ..I was 38 at the time and had been single for 9 years at the time .

I’d say without a word of a lie ….99% were either married men ( most of them …admitted it ) others were …. nothing …. short of porn …/ many added photos of genitals including size details ….🤢🤢🤢 how many times a day ….they expected sex …🤢🤢🤢very detailed info …


It put me off …made me feel sick to the bottom of my gut ……and I never did it again … but at least no one knew who they were writing to ..or where the person placing the add lived
Thank goodness ….Of course I told the man who recommended it ….

It put me off ever doing it again ….
 
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This is how the adds worked

I googled / copied this ……

Old dating classified ads in
The Advertiser (Adelaide) and the Sunday Mail were historically known as Personal Advertisements or "Lonely Hearts" columns. Spanning from the early 20th century through the 1980s and 90s, these ads served as a primary, though sometimes stigmatized, method for South Australians to find partners, pen pals, or companionship.

Characteristics of Old Advertiser Dating Ads:
  • Format: Small, text-based rectangles located in the back pages of the classifieds section. They were often highly abbreviated to save money, as ads were charged per line.

  • Anonymity & Safety: Advertisers typically did not use their real names. They used "box numbers" assigned by the newspaper, which acted as a blind mailbox.

  • The Process: Interested readers would write a letter, take it to The Advertiser office, or mail it referencing the box number, which was then forwarded to the advertiser.

  • Content: Ads were often earnest, seeking specific qualities like age, height, employment, and marital status (e.g., "widow," "bachelor").
Sample Content & Phrases (1970s–1980s):
  • "SWF [Single White Female] seeks honest, caring male for friendship, possible romance..."
 
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I got tired of th games of use and abuse that seems to be the nature of a "modern" woman any more, and opted out entirely in my early 50s. I was lured into a long-distance thing a couple years back now but once I got "ghosted" just before actually meeting for the 1st time... fool me twice, shame on me!

I fell into watching some videos recently where a black Christian relationship counselor takes video calls from black women asking for dating advice.

It is hair-raising how insane and clinically damaged so many women have become from feminism, being "raised" by single mothers, and coddled by State support, crazy courts, and Affirmative Action.

It is worst for black society, with a 1 in 4 rate of marriage today, but white women aren't far behind at all. They are doing alarming damage "raising" boys.

We could reverse a lot of ills, but we don't have the will.
 
Marie Miller said:
A dating site is what we used to call a meat market. Your profile is your bait. How you filter responses is up to you.
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There is a hotel in Adelaide just out of the city that was nicknamed the “meat market” , hubs said he went there once during a trip from where he lived ..to Adelaide to visit his patents for the weekend .

I know where the pub is , … I’ve never been in there ,hubs said when he visited the hotel about year before we met he just sat at the bar for a couple of hours while having a couple of drinks ….and left
 
Thanks for responding. Us older ones got the good ones, and the rest are leftovers.
I was single fro about 8 years before I met Mark/ I went dancing at awell known club and that is where he might him.
A husband I was not looking for- in fact his mother roared with laughter and almost fell out of her chair when I told her after we were married-- I had no intention of keeping him, he was suppose to be a one night stand! I can be very honest :)
The were a couple of reasons for that.
I never tried dating sites, did try a church guy..church obviously does not mean much unless your there.
I do know this, after 36 years of my honey, you could not pay me or tempt me in anyway to date another man. I apparently got the best one yet:)
 
Jacob Petersheim said:
It is hair-raising how insane and clinically damaged so many women have become from feminism, being "raised" by single mothers, and coddled by State support, crazy courts, and Affirmative Action.
Click to expand...
Wow! I guess all that hair raising explains the increase in male baldness. :ROFLMAO:

I know several strong patriotic woman raised by single mothers. I think you see a very small portion of women as a larger group that exist only for those with luxury beliefs. In reality, these insane and clinically damaged women are a very small minority that are promoted by a majority of news sources.
 
Faye Fox said:
Wow! I guess all that hair raising explains the increase in male baldness. :ROFLMAO:

I know several strong patriotic woman raised by single mothers. I think you see a very small portion of women as a larger group that exist only for those with luxury beliefs. In reality, these insane and clinically damaged women are a very small minority that are promoted by a majority of news sources.
Click to expand...
I'm sure there are many successful wives and mothers out there, even in the West. Hopefully they aren't out there "dating up" and playing other such games though. :ROFLMAO:
 
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