Cleaning House

Earl S. Much

Earl S. Much

Member
Last October 31 my ex-wife (we were married over 40 years) passed on suddenly (car accident). I am having a hard time sorting through possessions, she was a collector (hoarder) - I know it's just things and most of it means nothing to anyone but there are a lot of memories. It's just overwhelming having to sort through the stuff. I am sure other people have had similar experiences. I am looking practical ideas on disposing of "stuff" and for emotional support.

Our divorce took over 6 years to finalize, just about a year ago (whole different story, basically we had incompatible lifestyles after I retired). I have been helping to maintain her nearby home (former family residence, she got ownership in the divorce settlement). We have 2 adult children but they live out of the area and have their own families and lives, you know, it's sort of my problem now - however they are heirs to the property, it's paid it off, and the intent is to make it a rental property.
 
That sounds like you have a really big job on your hands, @Earl , and no one to help out. Since the adult children are not nearby, you will have to do most of the sorting.
Maybe, you can ask the kids if there are things that they wanted to keep, if they have not already said that.
I would have loved to have had my Mother-in-law’s knitting needles and pattern books, but I never even thought about asking anyone if they could save them for me when she passed away, so they either went to the thrift store or in the trash.
I know she would have left them for me if I had just asked about it.

I would save things that are important memories for yourself and also for your children, and they can decide what they do or don’t want to keep, and other than that, taking things to the goodwill or donating to a senior assisted living home , might be the best you can do.
It is good that you will have the time you need to go through everything and decide what needs to be kept and what can be given away or trashed.

My mom and dad passed away within a month of each other, and they were both “savers”, so there was a LOT of stuff to go through. I had an ongoing yard sale, and as I went through everything, it went into one of 3 piles….. keep, yard sale, or trash.
Each day I added to the yard sale stuff, and people would stop by everyday to see what new stuff I had found, and some even had requests for things they hoped I might find.
It was actually a good way of dealing with it, and I had stories about some of the things that people bought, or i gave away. Some stuff was not good enough to sell, but too good to throw away, and it went out with the yard sale stuff, and in the Free pile.
 
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