Do you have the type of personality that you really hate saying the word "no" to family and friends? My wife is that way towards her older sister and that's a major reason we don't live in the same state the sister does. Wife even admitted that she has an extremely hard time saying "no" (ok, "sorry, no") to her sister about anything. She has a very hard time disagreeing with her sister, but I don't. Heck, I've even had her sister hang up the phone on me for disagreeing with her. "Oh well, to bad" I say. As for me, I'd really have to say that I have a hard time saying "no" to my wife, even though I'm not really a "yes" person at all. Wife and I do have a major thing in common, among many different things "in common", we both can have "good common sense", so I don't have to worry that much about saying "no" to her. Unlike her, I just don't have all of that "nice person" qualities. A lot of that comes from being former military and being partly raised with very strict step-parents. I am a nice person, just not "overly" nice (except to my wife LOL). What about you?
I have no problems saying yes to my children, always do unless I'm not available. I'm only asked to watch my grandsons and that's an honor anyway. Wish they would ask me for more things but they don't need anything else from me. Only time Ive had to say no is when they both needed me at the same time...but my daughter is always one step ahead of her brother. She's already booked me for a week in January. A whole bunch of her friends and in laws are going on a trip for a week to the father in laws resort property. My son and DIL were also invited but they had to decline because the other grandma couldn't watch the 3 boys and obviously I couldn't either.
I said yes too much in regards to money for one child...then I stopped cold turkey. The only person I have hard time saying No to is my hubby.However last few years I have leaned how...mainly due to finances. My BF cant seem to say No to her family...which is large...or to neighbors....brings stress upon her ...but hey its her life. So guess I am in the not overly nice group .
For many years of my life I was exactly a "yes" person wanting to help everyone and not wanting anyone to get mad at me if I had to say "No". But over the years I learned that I could not help everyone all the time, and I didn't even really want to say yes sometimes. And I have found that even if someone does get mad at me if I tell them no that is there problem not mine. I hate to have to say "No" to anyone I love...like my spouse and my children, etc. But there are times I do have to do this and where once it would have upset me and made me feel guilty...now I have peace about those times.
Sometimes I think that saying "yes" to much, wither it's for adult children or grandchildren, can be spoiling. But, then again, "spoiling" can be (or is) part of being a parent or grandparent. But, like anything else in life, some things can be done "too much". I really never got "spoiled" as a young child or teen, BUT, at least I never wound up in an orphanage. So, I can thank my step-parents for offering to take me, no matter how strict they were with me.
Funny, even though I, at times, have a hard time saying "no" to my wife, when she is shopping for clothes, if she asks me "how does this look", I will tell her the truth. It will either be, "nope, not you" or "yep, get it". If I say "nope (no)", she will take a second look at the item and understand why I said "nope". I will also tell her. Actually, I think we all know people that can't seem to say "no" to anyone and then complain by saying "why didn't I say "no?" Yep, that one word comes in........stress.
I was always a 'yes' person - finally said 'no' and will never be taken advantage of again I was a slow learner but I've got there
If a person combines the "yes" and "no" towards their family and friends, when a person has to say "no (or, "sorry, no") the family or friends understand. Whereas, when a person constantly says "yes", when they do have to say "no", the family or friends get upset. This "yes" and "no" thing can happen towards anything, but seems to happen quite a bit within a family when it comes to money. One thing for sure, being a too nice a person combined with being a "yes" person sure can have it's problems. Problems at our age, none of us need! Right folks?
I have no problems saying yes...I'm not asked that often to watch my grandsons and after all my kids do for me I can't say they're taking advantage of me. Now that they are older it's happening less and less and now I just try to visit as often as possible even though I don't have to. What grandmother doesn't want to spend time with her grandchildren?? There is a reason I'm the favorite grandma to all 5 grandsons....I spent time with them and played with them not just watched them. The oldest will be moving away to college in sept. I don't have to go and help move him in but you better believe I'm going because I WANT to be there. I was there for all his firsts...even volunteered at the kindergarten when I could.
No one's questioning your reasoning Chrissy Sounds reasonable to me and I'm sure others @Chrissy Cross