Ha! I need a surefire way of knowing when I actually do have mail. Someday I'll have a mailbox that notifies me.
Well, are you familiar with Erap? He is our former president (1998) who had that character of a rube or a naive moron. It's a character that had won for him the presidency - before the elections, he came out with a book called Eraptions, containing jokes about his naivette. One joke was his son noticed him going in and out of the house. Erap was asked what he was doing and he answered that he was trying to see if their mailbox had a new mail. And why, asked his son? Erap replied that the computer says so - you've got mail (sound of bell).