Youthful Competition

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Frank Sanoica, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    My wife's niece, 5 years old, competes in dance recitals. Her sister, bil, and the kids traveled to Ohio for a competition lasting much of this week. My wife watches little Sadie as the routines are performed. She finds it cute. They all seem vitally concerned with being on the top, losing being tantamount to "failure".

    I disagree with this. Yes, if a kid is talented, cultivate it. But I feel it should be done at the child's own stride, not pressured; I believe the "agony of defeat" affects young, developing minds more adversely than older ones more able to understand.

    But, what the hell do I know, anyway. I only finished raising two teenagers who weren't my own! :confused:

    Frank
     
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  2. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Veteran Member
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    It's nice that you took the time to look at Sadie from a different view than wanting her to win. Some kids thrive and grow in competition. If they have aspirations in the entertainment field, pressure and rejection are probably important to learn. Life can be harsh. At the same time, maybe watch her face and body language as to see if she has a competitive streak. It's a great characteristic to have, but some people are more sensitive to criticism.
     
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  3. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    I agree, Frank...……...way to many kids are pressured into winning something or really, really looking good. Kids can become very resentful towards their parents, or others, for pushing them to do something they really don't want to do.

    My step-dad loved math and pressured me into taking Drafting in high school. Well, he found out very fast that Drafting wasn't my thing. Failed the year. Now, todays Drafting, called CAD (computer aided drafting) would be more of my thing, since I love using a computer.
     
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  4. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    There was a beauty pageant for girls between preteen and teens at the Omni III hotel in Charlotte, N.C. a number of years ago. I was working as a Chef’s consultant and we had a number of banquets scheduled for the participants and their parents / guardians. Some of the antics that I saw the parents, particularly the mothers, pulling on their kids made me a little more than angry often to the point of nearly losing my contract.
    One little girl missed a single note on the piano and afterwards when she joined her mother in the hallway her mother started screaming and hitting the girl for “losing her chance” to become a star or whatever. Long story short, my voice isn’t soft nor are the words that I speak when I get angered.

    I can recount many such instances from hitting to verbal abuse and a combination of both. When parents allow their children to compete, they should allow the children to compete and not as an extension of themselves.
    Let the winner be the winner and the loser learn how to lose and both learn to do so with grace which is just about the only thing (other than the rudiments of whatever competition that they are in) that the parents should be teaching.
     
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  5. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I'm more annoyed by "participation" trophies. Children need to learn that they won't always win in life.

    Parents behaving badly seems to be more the norm nowadays. Did you all see the PARENTS' fight at the little league game in Colorado this week? They were fighting over the umpire's call... and the umpire is 13 years old. Pitiful, really.
     
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  6. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    I think that my parents handled these things in a good way. Although my dad was a Little League coach and my older brother played in the Minor Leagues, I wasn't pressured into playing the game. However, I did sometimes have to at least try something before deciding that I didn't like it. Therefore, I had to play Little League one summer, but the following summer it was my choice. The same was true of Boy Scouts. My dad was also the Boy Scout leader. I hated Little League but I loved Boy Scouts. Another of my brothers played Little League each summer but left the Boy Scouts after a year or two.
     
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  7. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    I have never beem competitive- mainly because I am not ' good' at anything. No not self esteem issues or any of that other
    physco therpy crap - ola.
    I enjoyed trying to play sport games , but I just do not have what it takes. Board games etc..neh, I do okay but nothing to holler about. Musical...I wish . The closest thing to a 'talent' for me - is flower arrangements- growing plants , adult coloring, writting certain things.
    But I am a good spectator ;)
     
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  8. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    Our oldest son wanted to play pee-wee football, so we suited him up with uniform, cleats, helmet, etc. Quite a hefty investment for a kid's activity, I thought. After the first couple of games, he lost interest... apparently he just wanted the uniform. :D I made him stay the season though he was a first-class bench warmer. From that point forward he was a little more selective in activities.
     
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  9. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    GD joined Band....had to be in Band. She stopped going on her on and school called her mother. Mother let her drop out - did not like that but not my say.​
     
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    Last edited: Jun 22, 2019
  10. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Yeah, had I been really good at baseball, perhaps I'd have liked it more. I liked playing baseball in the field across the road, where some players often had to play on both teams, and where no one really cared about the score. People would yell at you when you sucked at Little League.
     
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  11. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Veteran Member
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    "...The extraordinary will take care of itself." -William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching

    ordinarylives.jpg
     
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