Where Do Your Ancestors Come From?

Discussion in 'Tall Tales & Fabrications' started by Ted Richards, Nov 3, 2017.

  1. Ted Richards

    Ted Richards Well-Known Member
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    My ancestors came from the trees. All of my ancestors had long hairy arms. It's really handy for reaching way-y-y-y out for that last fruit out on the end of the branch. After my ancestors became ground dwellers, they moved about a lot and grew long, strong legs as I have so we could run like hell when a big kitty chased us.

    Later, my ancestors married girls that liked to grow things down by the river. Some of what they grew was good to eat and some of it made a mighty fine smoke. We started building houses close to the farms but we didn't lose the long legs and long arms just in case we might need them again.

    After that the story gets complicated. First the girls complained about the smoke in the houses from the cooking fires, so we had to invent chimneys; then the girls complained about how dark it was inside, so we had to invent windows; then the girls nattered about how dusty it was, so we had to invent floors.

    You see what I’m getting at don’t you? They figured that if we were going to grow bigger brains and the bulging foreheads to house them, then we had better use them for more than a decoration, so they kept at us and turned us into a race of inventors; strictly for their own purposes of course.

    Did I mention doors? That was one of our early inventions because the baboons kept sneaking in to raid the food supplies. Well after we got the house sorted out, the girls thought furniture and appliances would be nice too and so we built those and then we had to invent all the things the girls needed to cook and clean. As you can imagine, that took quite a while and the girls were having babies and cooking and cleaning and that meant that we had to do the sowing and reaping.

    Well, now that we have bulging foreheads with bigger brains, we had to invent more efficient farming methods, you know, gang plows and huge tractors and things like that. Actually those were a lot of fun but we didn’t let on to the girls, we just kept on complaining about the workload. Since we were bringing in more food all the time, the girls were having more babies and after awhile, we had to invent cities to house everyone.

    That brings us up to near the present time. We thought we had everything pretty well under control, so we took a break and started inventing things we liked, trains, automobiles and airplanes, you know, fun things for guys.

    But enough about my ancestors, where did yours come from?
     
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  2. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
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    Fun things for guys? I thought that is why girls were invented...........................
     
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  3. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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  4. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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