By the time we reach 60..unless we've lived extremely fortunate lives we're all walking wounded in some way or other..physically, mentally..or emotionally. Everyone deals with life in different ways..some have a lot of family support other people none. Many of us have been dealt a hugely difficult hand in life and continued on through with our heads down and battled the blizzard head on... others find it more difficult to cope even when the smallest setback occurs.. My question is this...How in the autumn and winter of life when you feel overwhelmed with circumstances do you keep motivated and putting one foot in front of the other? Do you have a tried and tested way that keeps you from sinking under the bridge?
I've 'nearly' sunk, many a time, but I think of my Husband and I have to keep going emotionally Its not bloomin easy and if I wrote me biography it would be called 'Silent Scream' So, in answer to your question, considering your partner or take him down with me And - music, also ending the night with something cheerful
My wife and I tend to take care of each other, depending on which one is in worse shape on any particular day. Also making plans for later ( hoping we'll be able) such as planting a garden or taking a trip.
My faith helps keep me motivated. But also "righteous anger" keeps me motivated to not settle for the worst when I know better is out there.
Just a point...this isn't about me..per se...it's something I was reading which made me ponder about how we all continue to 'cope'.. It's great if some folks have a loving partner to rely on of course, but many don't... relying on religious faith is a great comfort for some...and Sheldon as you say..giving yourself something to look forward to no matter how big or small is another way to keep motivated. ((Patsy))...like you I use Music to calm me when I'm stressed.....but when I've been as low as I think I can possibly get whether through emotional or physical damage ... .., the only thing that keep me going is knowing that I'll leave my ''child' without a mother...not that at 40 years of age she needs mothering per se , but having lost my mother at a young age I know how lonely it is to not have one...especially as my daughter has no siblings to turn to...so unbeknown to her, she's been my saving Grace on many occasions..
Yea - really like your post Holly - your daughter may be 40, but she will cherish you as you do her so of course, you consider her. Fabs is all I have and his welfare and happiness is paramount to me so, I can't go yet .............. I feel so much for those on their own and I hope they are able to do some charity work as that would solve so many problems for them as well as helping someone. I'm able to phone someone on their own, which I do every week she's 93. We also look out for the vulnerable here. Keeping the mind occupied is so important and making sure you have 'me time' Holly - I know you work hard so just that little time to relax - and don't feel guilty about that !
I have the faith thing and I have the Honey too. And my children and grandchildren help keep me motivated also. But at times even with all these motivators....I do still get overwhelmed and none of those motivators work. So I might throw myself a little pity party (with a preset time limit), drown my sorrows in a couple of glasses of wine and some really let the tears flow music. I also might call my best friend or one of my sisters and "vent" all that built up emotional pressure inside of me. Sometimes I like to get my bedroom as dark as I'm feeling, snuggle up under my comforter and sleep the blues aways. I even might pig out on my favorite foods at such a time as this. I don't think there isn't much I haven't tried when I feel totally overwhelmed... And eventually my world turns right side up again. If it didn't I would probably try some Counseling (which I have done a couple of times in my life) because sometimes we need a little help in getting to the root of what is causing us to stay stuck in the "pit of dark despair".
My motivation is the feeling that I still have something to contribute. The part-time job I have is very satisfiying and helping with 'handyman' jobs for others is fulfilling. I have a partner who understands and supports me, as I her. Learned that there are things I can't control. Like many here when things get me down, some music and a good book get me back on track.
What keeps me motivated are the question what am I going to learn to day. What am I going to accomplish today? What laminating belief can I change? What’s for supper? The only difference I see now is when I was younger and had an idea. I would just dive into it and make many mistakes until it was accomplished. Now it replays and replays in my mind until I get all the mistakes done and then if I am still interested I do it. Keeping me motivated is easy just tell me I cannot do it, or I do not know something and my curiosity kicks in and I have a project.
Have to agree with the other married couples, or ones with a partner, my wife keeps me going and visa/versa. We had somewhat of a tough time last year, after my fall. For a week or so, I simply couldn't do much. Can't do much when on crutches. With doing her full-time job, taking care of me plus doing the things I was doing, it really stressed her out. That stress only lasted for a week or two (thank God), because I learned what I could do in a wheelchair. Had to stand up and put most of my body weight on my right foot, but was able to do laundry, load/run dishwasher and a few other things. With my two previous surgeries (2005 & 2007), she was fine with taking care of me, doing things that I had done and working a full-time job, but she was also 10 years younger with a less stressing job. Wife and I have always been the "marriage" and/or "relationship" type of people. When we were single (divorced) we met people who weren't that way and so it didn't work out. When we met, everything lined up perfectly. Neither of us were afraid of marriage or a relationship.
awwww (((patsy))))...I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it's not pain that's getting you down. Just remember we're all here willing you on whatever is causing you to feel so bad today... ..