What Are You Looking For?

Discussion in 'Help Requests' started by Ken Anderson, Jun 5, 2016.

  1. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    I am interested in knowing just what you are looking for in a seniors forum? However general or detailed you might want to take that question, the answers may be of interest. What sort of an atmosphere are you looking for? What discussion topics are you looking for? Are you looking for a forum that is tightly or loosely controlled? However you'd like to answer the question, I'd like to know. There are no wrong answers.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 5, 2016
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  2. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
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    I know that a forum is a virtual place with real limitations, but I like to approach this forum as I would a brick and mortar location. I want it to be a place where I can hang my hat. ;)
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Krissttina Isobe

    Krissttina Isobe Very Well-Known Member
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    I like this forum and it has mostly what I like. :)
     
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  4. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    I already feel at home
    I came here for company - I'm stuck at home mostly
    I choose a forum for the distraction, takes my mind off things that ail me
     
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  5. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    I came here because somebody told me about it on another (not a seniors) forum and thought that I'd like the chat here. Having been here just over a week I am enjoying it a lot.

    In a seniors forum it's not so much what I'm looking for as what will NOT be here - ie: topics that are suited to younger people such as "getting that bikini body", interactive gaming, "what to do when you spot that first grey hair" articles about celebrities that I've never heard of, strange writing in which (for example) "great" is spelled "gr8", and more along those lines - you get my meaning....

    So far the atmosphere here has not only been warm and welcoming during my first week or so, but has been fun, informative and helpful. I couldn't ask for more - I've not hit upon any controversy yet and I'd probably not get involved if I did come across one.

    I'm not sure what you mean by "tightly or loosely" controlled - if you mean having moderators for the forum (I don't know whether there are ...) I'd like to think not because we're all over 18 !

    What fascinates me is the ability to connect with people of the same generation in far-flung (from France!) countries and get to know them in this virtual way, what they do day-by-day, what makes them tick, what they enjoy, dislike or are confused about. The normal daily things that make up life for most normal people.
     
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  6. Ike Willis

    Ike Willis Very Well-Known Member
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    The forum I came here from often went for days with nary a change in topics nor a sign of life. This forum always has something going on. I like it here fine.:)
     
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  7. Teresita Campaner

    Teresita Campaner Active Member
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    I love to hang around here, sharing and absorbing the members' experiences, who have mostly overcome the odds in life.
     
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  8. Chris Ladewig

    Chris Ladewig Well-Known Member
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    I think this forum is fine the way it is. You can blow off a little steam now and then and no one jumps up and down and throws you off. I had not been a senior forum until here lately and was a little concerned it would be a bunch of old folks talking about their meds and operations. You guys are far from that, I'm glad to be here and already consider you as on-line friends. Your topics are diverse and for the greater part interesting. Keep up the good work Ken.
     
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  9. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    There's just me, and I can't read everything. As for the level of control, I am trying to allow as much leeway as possible for discussion without offending people beyond their limits, the problem being that people have different limits. Some people would really rather never see anything that they disagree with, while others enjoy heated discussions, so I guess I'm trying to achieve something in between, with only a few areas where there is a likelihood of strong disagreements. I also don't like to feel that I have to step in and stop every disagreement, so I try to let people work things out for themselves. Sometimes, I think, there are those who would have preferred me to step in sooner, while there are probably those who wish I wouldn't interfere. Of course, I'm trying to make a point by using extremes when, in reality, most of those in this forum aren't really at these extremes. Sometimes, I'm sure I am wrong in my assessments of what's going on.
     
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  10. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    Order must be maintained. But sometimes at the cost of loss of vital information pertaining to a particular discussion. The price paid for "Law & Order".

    Frank
     
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  11. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    I am happy with a forum with friendly folk and freedom of speech, and a hands off approach from moderation..unless..and this is a biggie...unless there's personal attacks on members because of their views on a subject.

    I'm all for serious and heated discussion in it's place..but when a member feels that they can viciously attack someone because their opinions differ then that's a huge no-no for me...and then I feel that moderation is needed ...

    I've recently been a member of a forum where even if I posted that the sky was blue there were members who took offence and followed me around to attack everything I posted..appalling behaviour which was permitted and condoned by the moderator and admin of the forum...

    No forum can provide everything any individual requires...but having been a moderator myself of several forums, I know how difficult and time consuming it is to keep everyone happy...

    A level playing field is the biggest requirement I feel...and as a solo admin and moderator Ken..I think overall you do a sterling job..

    So for me... a forum that allows happy chat..serious debate..and everything in between with friendly folk regardless of differing views...is a place to come for relaxation.. .
     
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  12. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    I can see that it's quite a responsibility. I've not been here very long and have not yet seen anything that has either (a) caused me offense or (b) seen evidence of other people being offended.

    However, when you say "some people would really rather never see anything that they disagree with" .... now that's a tall order and doesn't reflect real life or the ( *ah-hem* ..... ) supposed wisdom of Seniors ... there are so many areas of discussion in this forum that they can walk away from a discussion they are not enjoying or disagree with strongly. They don't have to engage. They can enjoy taking part in those areas that they do enjoy.
     
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  13. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    The problem there is that some people view disagreement with what they have said as a personal attack. In these cases, I try to look at whether it is really a personal attack or simply a strong argument, but not everyone will agree with me.
     
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  14. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I know calling a person stupid would be a personal attack but is calling their ideas stupid in your opinion a personal attack? Maybe it needs clarifying.
     
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  15. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I look for entertainment on a forum, it's like watching TV for me which I barely do. I don't really come to learn anything or change my views because forum members aren't professionals. I used to look for friendship on a forum or be with members I know....to connect. I've been burned by friendship so I'm more cautious now.

    Even on a specific forum like a health forum, I wouldn't do anything crazy someone suggests because everyone is different, nor would I suggest something and then have that person get sicker because they followed my advice.

    I also look for a forum that's just the right size. Too small isn't good nor is too big. This forum is a perfect size and active enough not to be boring.

    I also like the personal stories more than informational. I can google whatever I want, don't really need a forum for that.

    For ex: I liked your post about your plans to hike the 100 miles. A post just on the Appalachian Trail I could look up myself.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 20, 2016
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  16. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I think that people can disagree on something and as long as each person is being respectful of the other person's opinion, and is stating reasons why they think differently, and not just saying that the other person is wrong, or even that their opinion about something is wrong or stupid (even when we think it is), then the discussion can be productive.
    If someone posts something that I disagree with, then I should be explaining my reasoning why I disagree. Then that person can read what my reasons were and give a rebuttal of why they think my reasons are wrong.
    Even if we never come to an agreement about the subject, we have each explained why we think/feel as we do , and been respectful of how the other person thinks/feels about that subject.

    The subject of gun control is a great example of this kind of discussion.
    People who live in other countries where they have never had the right to own whatever weapons they wanted to simply can't understand why Americans want to own guns, and they have a totally different mindset about our gun laws than many of us that live here in the United States have.
    Just saying that guns should or should not be banned is not the same as discussing the reasons why they should or should not be allowed.

    I seems like most of the time we manage to stay on topic here and not take offense at the person with opposite thoughts, and I think people usually feel safe posting in any subject that interests them.
    I hate arguments, but I love discussions.
    Since I know that most of the time, people are not going to change their opinions by what I say, arguing about it doesn't make any sense, once I have said what I think and why I think it, unless there are new valid points to consider and discuss.
     
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  17. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I understand but trying to prove a point is very hard when of course what you're trying to prove will be from sources that state your view and the other person uses sources that state theirs. There really aren't any neutral sites anymore.
     
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  18. Mari North

    Mari North Very Well-Known Member
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    I think that leeway is vital, @Ken Anderson . If a forum gets overly strict and starts dictating what people can and can't say, then it's stepping on amendment rights... and truthfully, so many of our constitutional rights are being taken away, not many people would put up with it on a forum unless it's a no-brainer that's crossing the line. I certainly agree that you don't need to (and shouldn't) step in to stop disagreements. It's hard, but there's the free speech thing.

    Now, that said, there are lines that can't be crossed. First and biggest to me is name-calling. I've seen some horrid things in comment sections of things like news stories on Facebook. When things cross from "I disagree and here's why" to "you idiot!" then I sure wouldn't let it go. Truly can't see *that* happening here, though.

    As for some thinking you should step in sooner... I don't agree with that. Everyone here is over 50, not 15 where someone may have to "step in with a stick" when there's an argument.

    To go a step further, someone thinking you should have "cracked the whip" instead of letting *adults* settle their differences just *may* be trying to stir up drama. Don't know, but... possibility.

    I see some opinions sometimes (yes, even here ;)) that make me cringe and I may be get a tad "loud" sometimes... but by golly, you won't be hearing me calling anyone names. At least not in public. :eek: JUST kidding!
     
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  19. Mari North

    Mari North Very Well-Known Member
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    :) I've been thinking about this one and I can't figure out how I feel. I think personally if someone would say my ideas and beliefs are stupid, I wouldn't be a very happy Mari. On the other hand, if *I* think someone's ideas are stupid, I'm not going to probably shut up and feel stifled about it, :eek: but I'd probably be a little more gentle and say something like "I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense to me" and then go on to explain why.
     
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  20. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    I think that depends on what follows. For myself at least, I'm thinking that if you say, "That's a stupid idea," and then go on to explain why it's a stupid idea, I might have wished you'd have used a gentler word but I don't know that I would describe it as a personal attack, while if you were to simply say, "That's stupid," and then leave it at that, it starts to look more like a personal attack.
     
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  21. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Stupid is the wrong word, I shouldn't have used that but sometimes I'll read something that is off the wall impossible but I can't find a link to prove it, I was just wondering how can you say that without insulting the person?

    Also when you don't believe the source of links people post and they don't believe yours...in the end it's all pointless. I see very little truth on the internet.
     
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  22. Mari North

    Mari North Very Well-Known Member
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    Ohhhhhhhhh! Well then absolutely I'm with you there. It's happened to me in the past. I see something here (or did back then rather) and I know it's propaganda and I get worried that someone might actually believe it, and I feel I need to swoop in and set the record straight because my main peeve is injustice... yes.

    It *is* pointless sometimes. I do understand that no matter what I say, someone who has a great need to push his or her own agenda, or that of a group I think is wacko, will be able to find some other wacko posting something on the 'Net to make their point and post it as if it's gospel. It's maddening.

    How to say something is ridiculous without insulting the person... golly, you got me there. Some people are so touchy that you say nothing more than "I don't agree" and they have a hissy fit.
     
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  23. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    The problem is I think by the time we've gotten to the nasty point, were all upset and BPs are rising and people are calling in the troops to whichever side they're on. You can tell ahead of time if you've been on the forum who will like what post. :)

    Then things get out of hand and it has nothing to do with the topic anymore. Some people can remain cool and don't give a rats behind the personalities on a forum but there are those like me who take things personally and have a need to right every wrong. It's my personality and I've found that it's very hard to have a honest debate or discussion on a forum when you have people that think differently.

    But it also means you are passionate about the forum. If you can post and just walk away and it doesn't affect you
    I feel you really don't care about the forum. This is just my opinion and how I see things.

    What is a pet peeve with me is name calling and that goes for public figures you don't care for. I didn't vote for Obama in either election and I don't care for him but it gets my goat when people call him all kinds of stupid made up names. I also hate it when the left call Trump names too.

    Even if I'm on your side in the argument, doing that just puts me off.

    Rant over....going to the store. :)
     
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  24. Janice Martin

    Janice Martin Well-Known Member
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    Not anything specific, just a nice place with nice people who aren't 'at each others' throats.'
     
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  25. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I agree Janice but you do need differing opinions or it can become very boring. Everybody agreeing with everything that is said.

    I think the trick is to find the perfect balance without people getting so upset that they can't sleep. I'm sure there are people that don't take things to heart but I'm not one of them. I admit I can get ugly when pushed and I'm working on that. I'm really not all angel. :)
     
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