The Vampire Bat

Discussion in 'Tall Tales & Fabrications' started by Richard Paradon, Feb 12, 2015.

  1. Richard Paradon

    Richard Paradon Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2015
    Messages:
    722
    Likes Received:
    359
    I don’t know too much about big vampires who go around during full moons and biting people. I really do not know. But I have found out that vampire bats not only are vicious little rodents, but can talk as well!

    Last fall, I was at my cottage near the lake and it was just a lovely evening. The birds were singing and I was just really enjoying myself. I was treating myself to a nice pitcher of iced tea and just feeling great. As the afternoon started to fade I noticed with not fright, but uneasiness, a rather large number of bats flying closer to to where I was sitting. I was not sure to shoo them away, throw a rock at them or what...it is one of those times that you really don’t have a clue.

    I remember when I was a kid we were told that bats will fly into your hair and try to make a nest and I surely did not want that to happen. I figured the best thing for me to do would be just keep on sitting and try to be still and show no fear. I do know for sure that a dog and some other animals can smell if you are nervous and may attack. I absolutely did not want that to happen, so I just kept still, hoping for the best.

    As I had wished for, most of the bats soon had gone away except for two or three of the larger ones. I was starting to relax now thinking that they probably do this flying show in the early evening to eat insects or whatever they eat, and I had nothing at all to fear.

    I was wrong, very wrong. Just as I returned back to my easy and comfortable self, I reached for a glass of tea and one of the creatures landed on my arm. I immediately felt cold and shuddered. It was not a feeling I’d like to experience again. It was only about 8 inches tall, and if it weren't for those ugly wings it may have been cute with its fox like little face. I was about to panic, when it opened it’s mouth and said, “Hey, just be still. This won’t take very long.” Without even thinking, I asked, “What won’t take long?” I guess the last word came out nervously and the bat answered, “Crap, don’t you watch movies? What do think I am here for?” It then jumped to my neck and I felt a sharp nip. A moment later, the bat started to spit and curse! “Damn, rh negative.” and flew away.
     
    #1
    Val White, Von Jones and Ruth Belena like this.
  2. Pat Baker

    Pat Baker Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    877
    Likes Received:
    459
    Thank you, I got a good laugh out of your story. Keep sharing. Do you publish your stories any where other than this forum?
     
    #2
    Richard Paradon likes this.
  3. Richard Paradon

    Richard Paradon Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2015
    Messages:
    722
    Likes Received:
    359
    Hi Pat! Happy that you liked my little "true" story! No, sometimes I think about making a blog but I want to stay retired. I just write for friends usually.
     
    #3
  4. Hannah Davis

    Hannah Davis Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2015
    Messages:
    514
    Likes Received:
    243
    That was quite a story. You do have quite a creative mind. Sorry, you won't convince me this is true. I mean if a bat started talking to me I would scream, push it off my arm then flee the room. I think you were a bit too calm in the story for this to actually be true, but it was a good piece of fiction to read.
     
    #4
    Richard Paradon likes this.
  5. Val White

    Val White Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 9, 2015
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    147
    Enjoyed that Richard. And the moral of your tale is, don't settle don't with a glass of tea [​IMG]
     
    #5
    Richard Paradon likes this.
  6. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    4,821
    Likes Received:
    6,949
    Well, rh negative is supposed to be the blood of royalty; so maybe he knew that he should not have tried to bite you. Maybe we should be calling you "King Richard, Your Highness", from now on.......
    In any case; it was a great story , and I enjoyed it.
    It reminded me of then I was a teenager and actually caught one of the little bats that had gotten into the house where my friend Norma was babysitting. She called me in a panic to come and rescue her because she and the little kids she was babysitting were all scared of the bat and hiding from it.
    The poor little bat looked terrified, too.
    I got him down off of the curtain with a broom, and then put him into a coffee can and removed him from the house for her. He was a very small one, maybe a baby bat, and a really cute little fellow.
     
    #6
    Bill Boggs and Richard Paradon like this.
  7. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 13, 2015
    Messages:
    1,231
    Likes Received:
    1,434
    If a bat came up to me, while sitting out on my pagoda, and spoke to me I would, no doubt, be surprised. But when I recovered and offered him a drink of my gin tonic, I'll bet he would be surprised, too, no doubt telling me I am the first to offer him a drink. And I'll bet he wouldn't like it either. Without knowing all the details I'll bet this fellow if he looked your bat, prefers a Sour Mash to my tonic.

    Keep on using that imagination, Richard. Sooner or later you'll plant an idea in my head.
     
    #7
    Last edited: May 21, 2015
    Richard Paradon likes this.

Share This Page