The Temperature Of Hell

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Sheldon Scott, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. Sheldon Scott

    Sheldon Scott Supreme Member
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    HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

    The following is an actual question given on a
    University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
    answer by one student was so "profound" that the...
    professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
    which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
    enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
    endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
    using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
    when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
    changing in time.
    So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
    into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I
    think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
    to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
    leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
    the different religions that exist in the world today.
    Most of these religions state that if you are not a
    member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
    there is more than one of these religions and since
    people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
    project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
    the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
    Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
    temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
    volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
    are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
    at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
    pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
    loose.
    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
    increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
    pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
    during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
    in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account
    the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
    two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
    exothermic and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
    frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
    more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
    Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being
    which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
    "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
     
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  2. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    :D Fab-U-Lous !! :D
     
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  3. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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  4. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    I bet he ended up a lawyer. :p:D
     
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  5. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    I have a torn abdominal oblique muscle and laughing hurt......like hell!
     
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  6. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
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    @Bobby Cole watch sad movies until you heal. No laughing for you for several days. :(
     
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  7. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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