A Story i'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house. He opened the window and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide "til the folks were all asleep. "and then," said he, "with all their money, 'I'll take a quick sneak." So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept up close to the wall He didn;t know it was the old Maids room Or he wouldn;t have the gall. He thought of the money he would steal As under the bed he lay, But a 9 o'clock he saw a sight That made his hair turn gray. At 9 o'clock the old maid came in; "I;m so tired," she said . She thought that all was well that night So she didn't look under the bed. She took out her teeth and her big glass eye And hair all off her head. The burglar he had forty fits As he watched from under the bed. From under the bed the burglar crept. He was a total wreck. The old maid wasn't asleep at all And she grabbed him by the neck. She didn;t holler, or shout or all. She was cool as a clam. She only said, "The Saints be Praised! At last i got a man," From under the pillow a gun she drew And to the burglar she said, "Young man if you don't marry me. I'll blow off the top of your head" She held him firmly by the neck, He hadn;t a chance to scoot; He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye. And said" Madam, for Pete's sake shoot ! "