The Bloop Maker

Discussion in 'Tall Tales & Fabrications' started by Tony Page, May 28, 2022.

  1. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    This joke I heard back in the 60s if you've heard it before just pay no attention, it's a long story it's called:
    "The Bloop Maker"

    There's this fellow who just wanted to get into the military, he didn't care what service, he just wanted to wear a uniform.
    He goes into an Army Recruiting Office, filled out the forms, takes a seat, was told someone will review his forms and interview him. The recruiting officer is reviewing his forms and called him to his desk, "I see here for type of work you say you're a bloop maker, tell me what is the bloop?" bloop maker "I can't tell you, I can build one to show you." The recruiting officer has a bad feeling about this candidate, " I'm sorry but we can't use a blooper maker in the army."
    Bloop maker gets the same response from the Air Force and the Marines.
    Next he tried the Navy. Just as the recruiter is questioning "what does a bloop maker do, and what is a bloop?" The Admiral walks by and hears the conversation, and he is curious about this bloop maker. The bloop maker's response to the recruiter was "I can't tell you what a bloop is but I can show you by building one." The Admiral tells the recruiter "sign him up and assign him to an aircraft carrier, we'll be the only service with a bloop maker."
    Few weeks go by when the Admiral meets up with the bloop maker and assigns him the task of building a bloop, thinking we will be the only service with a bloop. He asked the bloop maker what he will need to make one. The bloop maker response, "I'll need a hangar with tools, a purchase order to order materials, and three helpers."The Admiral asked "how long would this take?" Bloop maker "about 2 months depending how fast I can get the materials." The Admiral says"I will expedite your purchase order, I'm going to classify this Hangar as Top Secret, no one is to peek at this bloop until it's unveiling."
    As much as the Admiral tried to keep the building of the bloop a secret, word was getting around the services that something was going on in that hangar, Congress was even questioning what was going on there?
    The Admiral realizing all the attention he was getting thought to himself, "this is great for my career". The Admiral decides to make a festival of the unveiling of the bloop, he invites dignitaries from Congress and the other services. The Admiral starts building a grandstand from which all these dignitaries can witness the unveiling of the bloop. The Admiral sets the date for the unveiling 2 weeks after the completion date given to him by the bloop maker.
    With 3 days to go for scheduled completion the Admiral decided to check with the bloop maker to see how it was coming along. The bloop maker is visibly nervous and tells the Admiral he needs three more weeks to complete it. The Admiral now red in the face says "this has to be done for the unveiling which is a little over two weeks away, what can I do to speed things along". The bloop maker tells the Admiral "with another eight men I could have it done in a week", the Admiral says no problem and supplies him the manpower he needs.
    A week passes and the Admiral calls the bloop maker to find out how he's doing, the bloop maker informs him that he's finished and ready for the unveiling.
    It's the day of the big event, the unveiling of this mysterious bloop. The Dignitaries are boarding the aircraft carrier, the band is playing military music beautiful sunshiny day and everything is perfect for the unveiling. The Admiral doing a final check with the bloop maker to see if there's any final issues, the bloop maker says "yes I'm going to need about twenty men to help me with the bloop," the Admiral says fine and supplies him with 20 sailors. The Admiral instructs the bloop maker that when he hears the trumpets blare to open the hangar doors and to move the bloop in front of the grandstand so our guest can see it. All is set.
    Once all the guests are seated, the Admiral grabs the microphone makes a short welcoming speech, then talks about how proud he is to be the only service to have a bloop. With that he signaled the orchestra for the trumpets to blare, all eyes are on the hangar doors as they gradually open. From inside the hangar a giant covered item, at least 30 ft high by 20 ft long is being pushed out and sits in front of the grandstand. The Admiral gives a signal to the band to play and at the same time tells the bloop maker to remove the cover. The bloop maker and 20 sailors remove the giant cover revealing a monstrous mechanical device with gears, and wheels, and pipes, with pullies, and belts. The Admiral is amazed, "I can't wait for a demonstration of what this can do," so he informs the bloop maker show everyone what this bloop can do. The bloop maker has the 20 sailors push the bloop to the edge of the ship and push it overboard, this monstrous mass of metal hits the water and goes "BLOOP."
     
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  2. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    Shouldn't this be under 'Groan'?
     
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    Tony Page likes this.

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