The Bible Salesman

Discussion in 'Tall Tales & Fabrications' started by Bobby Cole, May 26, 2015.

  1. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Veteran Member
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    I heard a story about a stuttering Bible salesman that I will try to relate to ya'll. I was told it is a true story by a guy who actually sold Bibles, but in fact, I never knew the guy to tell the whole truth as long as I knew him. But, here goes.
    It seems that there was a Bible warehouse that employed door to door salesmen to sell their product. At one point the owner had no salesmen so he put an ad in the local paper advertising for a good knocker. The day after the ad came out a young man went to the warehouse and applied for the position telling the boss, "I wa-wa-wanna s-s-s-sell Bu-bu-bu-Bilbles."
    "Oh Lord help me," thought the manager. A thought came to him and he told the young applicant, "I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you a box of 12 Bibles and see what you can do with them. Now, if you don't sell any, don't be distraught because there are a lot of pro's out there who strike out when it comes to selling Bibles.

    The lad left with the case of books in hand and within 2 hours came back with the money and no Bibles. The surprised boss then helped the new salesman load 5 more cases into his old car and by the end of the day he had sold the 5 cases.
    When the young entrepreneur asked for more the boss had to ask him, "how do you sell so many Bibles? I have never, ever had such a good salesman!"
    "Wa-wa-wa-well," said the lad, "I n-n-n-knock on th-th-the d-d-d-door, a-a-and wh-when s-s-s-somebody answers, I a-a-ask th-th-them if th-th-they wu-wu-wu-want to b-b-buy a B-b-b-bible, or if th-th-they wu-wu-wanted m-m-me to r-r-r-read it t-t-t-o them!"

    The actual story was told by Mel Tillis on the Johnny Carsen show.

    BTW............Did you know, that the factories that produced the wonderful Bible paper of yester-year in North Carolina, now make a bigger profit producing paper for rolling pot.
     
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  2. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Veteran Member
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    That's a great story and one nobody can tell better than Mel Tillis
     
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  3. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Very Well-Known Member
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    My girl friend is not all that good looking. I went in the drugstore to buy some condoms. The woman at the checkout asked me if I wanted a bag. I said "No. I'll just turn out the lights."
     
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  4. John Brunner

    John Brunner Veteran Member
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    For those who are unaware, Mel Tillis stuttered.
     
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  5. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Very Well-Known Member
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    ... except when he sang. Great country artist.
     
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  6. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Very Well-Known Member
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    This is an oldie.
    My doctor told me I need to stop masturbating so much. I asked "What for, Doc? It's healthy isn't it?"
    He says "Usually, yes, but I'm trying to examine you."
     
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  7. John Brunner

    John Brunner Veteran Member
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    I was in a band for a while with a guy who was the same way. It's fascinating.
     
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