Same Financial Status

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Cody Fousnaugh, Sep 6, 2016.

  1. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Was the person, male or female, in the same financial status that you were, when you met? Just what do I mean by this?

    Well, my first wife came from a fairly rich family that lived in a very upper-class neighborhood. I sure didn't come from that kind of family, but we sure were attracted to each other........for me, I think it was the EMT uniform I was wearing when I met her. She was a Hostess at a nice restaurant that I stopped by. Anyway, our two marriages just didn't work out and I know that some of it was due to our financial upbringing.

    When I met my second/current wife, she definitely made a better salary than I did, but did share an apartment with her mom. We weren't in the same "financial status", but that didn't bother her.............she had the cowboy she had been wanting! She came from a middle-to-upper class family who lived in a nice house in Michigan and had a lake cottage and ski boat. My step-parents had nothing like that, but did have a descent house in farming country.

    When I think about "same financial status", I sometimes think about waitresses at Denny's and that they wouldn't be married to a lawyer, doctor or any other professional. Now, when wife and I have gone out for dinner, I've talked to waitresses and/or waiters at Red Lobster, Longhorn Steakhouse or places like that and they've told me their boyfriend (or fiancé') is going to a college or university to become a doctor, lawyer or some other profession and they, themselves, are going to school as well, to be in a great profession.

    Today, I think a lot of good-looking/very attractive young ladies and men, and even older divorced ones, definitely tend to look for their "Class" of mate.

    What do you think?
     
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  2. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I don't know, it just depends on your environment when you're at a marriage age. My kids met their spouses in Dental School. They didn't plan it that way, it just happened since that's where they spent their last 4 years of education.

    Not all dentists marry dentists though. If you're a student going to a University chances are you'll date from that environment.

    If you don't go to college and get a job, you may meet at the job.

    There's a lot of variables in who you meet and marry.

    Some dentists marry hygienists, some drs marry nurses. Some pilots marry stewardesses.

    It probably has to do with who you are around every day.

    I think it's shallow to marry someone for looks or even money, as that can all change anyway. I would hope most marry because of an attraction, which becomes love.

    I won't marry someone because of a uniform they're wearing that's for sure. They're not always going to be wearing it. While a uniform may be nice, there has to be more there than that.
     
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    Last edited: Sep 6, 2016
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  3. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, I think that parents can definitely play a part in who their son/sons and/or daughter/daughters marry. Generally speaking, each class of people marry the class they are from. I think, on the average, college/university graduates marry a person with the same.....and I think parents will hope for that.

    Wife was attracted to what I wrote in my Personal Ad and she found out, at the time I met her, that my ad was very accurate about me. Only transportation I had was a motorcycle and I used Shoal "dip", but neither bothered her. To be honest, I was a little shocked about that.
     
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  4. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    Parents can play a part but the child may not listen. Most don't.

    Everybody is different and is attracted by different things. For me the fact that you had a motorcycle wouldnt sway me either way but I'd hope you also had a car because where am I going to sit?

    Not going everywhere on the back of a motorcycle that's for sure. But there are people that like that and you found your match, I found mine but he died....that's life.

    I'm not looking for another person but if the right person pops up...who knows?

    I just wanted my kids to marry who they loved. It ended up being another dentist but both dated non dentists before they met their spouses.

    My daughter was dating an English major who wouldn't have ever made as much as her present husband but I wasn't against it.

    Son dated a girl that I can't remember what she did but it wasn't anything great but again I didn't say anything.
     
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    Last edited: Sep 6, 2016
  5. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    My wife had no problem with us using her vehicle, but I did take her to work once on the bike (I had two helmets).
    IMO, some parents will say something to their kids, depending on the person's personality. Some daughters think a guy with multiple tattoos looks cool, however the parents might not think that at all. Church-going parents might want their kids to get involved with/marry a religious person who enjoys going to church.
    I could never imagine a doctor or nurse marrying a warehouse worker. An upper-class lady who enjoys expensive wine and dinner parties, isn't going to date, or possibly marry, a dude that likes drinking beer and watching NFL. As for me, a lady that didn't like beer or rodeo sure wasn't for me.
     
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  6. Corie Henson

    Corie Henson Veteran Member
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    There was this short story of a joke or a proverb - depends on how you place it - about a couple who met the wife's ex in a restaurant. A former poor boy, the ex has become rich. When they parted, the wife said to her husband that it would have been great if she had married her ex. The husband who is a factory worker said... "if you had married the poor guy, he might be a factory worker now."
     
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  7. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I guess it's true but there are always exceptions to the rule. Some movie stars marry plain ordinary people.

    Thankfully my daughter doesn't like tattoos and neither do I so that wasn't a problem. Since I raised my daughter I instilled in her my values so she wouldn't pick someone very different. I know it doesn't always work that way but it did with my kids.
     
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  8. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
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    In reply to the Bold...

    My brother is a construction worker, and is married to a Nurse.

    My father was a a Bus driver among other manual blue collar jobs, and my mother was a Staff Nurse..
     
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  9. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Excellent about how you raised her!
     
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  10. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    But what I've read and seen, at lot, obviously not all, dating/marriages stay in their own class of society.

    Heck, I had a lady, years ago, come right out and tell me "you can't afford me" when I asked her out. What she said didn't bother me at all, because I knew then that I shouldn't have ask her out in the first place.
     
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  11. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    @Cody Fousnaugh

    How close to home your OP hits, Cody! My nephew, dating again for the first time in 25 years, told me his new love is "dirt poor".

    They married in 2000. He, retired from Southwestern Bell with a good pension, paid health coverage, she, a meager S/S income.

    By 2005, they had moved twice, all new furniture each time, Kay demanded a new car, then yet again, another, they have filed bankruptcy, the cash settlement from SBC is seriously depleted, a $900+ mortgage payment looms, he wants to downsize to a smaller, affordable house, she wants a larger one. The feisty, go-get-'em nephew I grew up with is gone. Served in the Marine Corps., was never afraid to speak his mind. Before.

    My wife privately puts it this way: She ain't poor no more, since she emasculated him.

    Frank
     
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