Rambling Around Ina’s Mind

Discussion in 'Personal Diaries' started by Ina I. Wonder, Oct 27, 2017.

  1. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    I didn’t think I would use a diary after my last attempt, it seemed to just contain pain. So I ended up shutting up and walking away from it, and two years later, I find that was a good decision.

    But without a spouse with which to discuss the merits, or the lack of, whatever ideas that pop into my head at any given moment, I now find I have no one to bounce my thoughts around with. I’ve always had ideas, and Michael was always the voice of reason.

    So I’ve decided to see if I can use this nitch in SOC as a depository for my wonderings. Hence the “Wonder” part of my moniker.


    For awhile now, I’ve been trying to sort through all the changes that arise from everything in my life flip-flopping in what seems like overnight. Yes grief is always a part of it. No matter the circumstances of the lifestyle change, there is always the loss to get through. But we do.

    And yes, life does go on, but I now find wading through the, “do’s/don’t’s, should/shouldn’t’s, how’s/why’s”/when’s/ where’s”, of things that cross my mind harder to keep in balance.

    So in the future, please kind people remember that I’m only “a wondering” about whatever again. :)
     
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    Last edited: Oct 27, 2017
  2. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Well? I'm waiting to read some rambling @Ina I. Wonder :)

    How's Riji doing?
     
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  3. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    Riji is getting bored living in Izzy’s old wire travel crate, but until I’m sure Izzy understands he’s not to be eaten, that is the way things will remain. So far all I see is an unafraid Riji teasing a very curious Izzy. So I figure a little controlled visitation is the best way to for them to become friends. (Remember Izzy caught and killed a rabbit a year ago, and he presented It to me as a gift.) :confused:

    I’m yucky today. No good reason. I just woke up that way. So I’m not going to do a dang thing this whole day. I don’t even want to think up an excuse. Tomorrow is different, but today it’s blah.

    CE3F5C79-3B4A-4573-95AC-A2B4F226A948.jpeg

     
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  4. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Well-Known Member
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    Here's my ramblings for today. As a single father,grand father and great grand father I am pleased that I will be able to host Thanksgiving Dinner for most of my family in a private dining room at the new facility that I will move into on November 3rd.
     
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  5. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Pickles is a killer, I'd have to do the same with a kitty.

    I have blah days, as a matter of fact today is one. :)
     
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  6. Martin Alonzo

    Martin Alonzo Very Well-Known Member
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    Ina good to deep six the diary special if it was full of painful memories. What ever your mind concentrates on gets bigger and what you ignore goes away.
    If you concentrates on the good thing in life you will find you have more of it.
     
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  7. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    @Lon Tanner, what an exciting day you have coming up this next holiday. Best of all, no dishes to clean up. :)

    @Chrissy Cross I know you get the yucky days too. Of course everyone gets bad days, but it’s a different kind of yucky. Its an alone kind of thing. But then there is always tomorrow. :oops:

    So true @Martin Alonzo. But it wasn’t a bad diary, it just contained much of my bewilderment in the early aftermath of my son and husband’s deaths. So that diary served me well at such a time when I had no one here to listen to, or them to me. But yes, we all must move on. ;)

    51B2B29A-20F5-442D-9046-EF8CBC747A25.jpeg

     
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  8. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    Life is filled with pain as well as pleasure, and I suppose there is value in each.
     
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  9. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    I think emotional pain can teach us much about ourselves and others. All through my many years, loss has been my greatest teacher. How we deal with these losses eventually tell us who we’ve become, and that is of value to me. It’s a starting place for me.

    It is now time for me to move on, and it is frightening to let go of the familiar. Even letting go of the near painful past is scary because it was what I knew. I know my future must be a totally new one, and that is really unsettling. :oops:
     
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  10. Jeff Tracy

    Jeff Tracy Well-Known Member
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    Past mistakes can be made good by learning from them ...
    just don't go there again ...
    and try to see the funny side of your mistake even if others can't .
    .
    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Martin Alonzo

    Martin Alonzo Very Well-Known Member
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    and-then-the-doctor-says-dammit-nurse-i-told-you-to-prick-his-boil.jpg
    That was from an old joke about student nurses doing everything backwards
     
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  12. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    Yes I do have a well developed sense of humor, and I’ll laugh at myself as much as anything. But my brain wander off to other things.

    I was watching the news earlier, and there was someone saying something about the advances of our war machines. Then the thought that the future didn’t look too welcoming from what I was seeing, and then I remembered that the media can sway a person’s perspective.

    This got me to wondering why we don’t hear about the good things our grand and greatgrand children have to look forward to. I wonder if we started a thread, that spoke of how the world would/could be a better place for the coming generations, just how many things we could find to support the theory of a better future to come.

    Remember, this thread is about the ramblings that run around Ina’s mind. It is also 3:45am., and I can’t sleep.
     
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  13. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Very Well-Known Member
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    @Ina I. Wonder ... have been up since 3:30. alarm went off for hubby to get up. Yawn, I hate being awake so early.
    A Thread about the good of the future for grandkids....sorry, do not see anything great for them in the future. Maybe I just feel in pessimistic
    mood, since it is so early.
     
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  14. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    I guess I’m an optimist, or I want to be. If there are no wonderful things for our offsprings to look forward to, then just what the heck are we doing anything for? I mean, it’s not the earth fault we aren’t happy, if we aren’t.

    We must be doing some things to make living worthwhile . Either that, or we are a very selfish species, I’m going to start looking for those reasons, and I’d like to see what some of you can come up with too.

    Nothing good comes from only seeing the bad. I admit I have been just as guilty of being a pessimist as anyone, and maybe it’s the very reason I need look for the other view of the future.
     
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  15. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I'm sleepy too, woke up 2:30 am! Have to leave soon for an 8 am eye appt. it's on one of the busiest streets in Fresno and it will be rush hr and barely light out. Ugh.

    Will be in a better mood when I return....hopefully.
     
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  16. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    @Chrissy Cross, tell’em “no feel good, no tip” Oooops, I just remembered wrong place and wrong person to bribe or threaten. Them docs can be mean, and you’d never know it. :confused:
     
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  17. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I'm done! :)
     
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  18. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    I agree @Ina I. Wonder that our offspring not having anything in the future to look forward too...or even any of us not having anything to look forward too would be a terrible thing. My Faith and the Bible I believe in tell me there is a wonderful Future ahead of us...if only we believe and receive the gift our Creator offers us.
     
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  19. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I don't know what the future holds but the kids I see at Cal Poly are pretty good kids. Such a caring bunch, it amazes me.

    I read all the posts on Facebook by their parents and you can tell they were raised right. There are liberal and conservative parents but so far all I see is them all come together to help their freshmen navigate being away from home for the first time.

    I have hope for the future ...it doesn't have to be like ours but as long as it's filled with good people I'm okay with that.
     
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  20. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    This is just one post. This person must have been in the recent fires....



    Dear Mustang Family,
    Thank you so much for your kindness, compassion,love and support for our family. In the time since the fires ravaged our town and decimated our home and our neighborhood, I think we have all experienced every possible human emotion. Although it might seem tempting to sink into despair and stay there, this CP community has repeatedly reminded us of all that is good in this world. You have lifted us, buoyed us and demonstrated that there truly is hope for the future.
    I teach at a high school that was closed for three weeks. On my first (emotional) day back, I returned to my Mom’s house where we are staying temporarily and found the most generous collection of gift cards from the CP parent community. On my first day back with students,I received another huge envelope with more gift cards. You have showered our son with care packages with all his favorite things, and the messages, cards and emails and gifts you have all sent all of us have been overwhelmingly kind.

    The care I am receiving, this feeling that I am being held in community by people I’ve never met, is what allows me to show up for kids in my community. We have about 170 students who have lost their homes in a school of 1560 kids. Many more are displaced and others’ lives have been disrupted by fear, mandatory evacuations, and even generosity of sharing their living spaces with people less fortunate than themselves. There is no easy fix. We will be on this road to recovery for years. With your support I am strong enough to be both vulnerable and fierce for my students. There are no words to express my gratitude for this.

    Thank you again for supporting my family directly, and indirectly a group of teenagers who are just beginning to discover what they need and what they can give in this new reality we find ourselves in.

    You mean the world to us.

    Sincerely and with such gratitude,



    Mustangs are the name of the college team and CP stands for Cal Poly.
     
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  21. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    Well it does seem that there are still reasons to believe in the future for at least the next few generations. I found this article on things to come. (I hope I get the address right, but you know me. If it can be messed up, I will be the one to do it. So here’s my first attempt.)

    https://omghews.today>...<ecology


    Something tells me I did this wrong. :oops: :( How do I check to see if it’s messed up?

    Well I now know I messed that up.

    Copying the article might be the only way I can show it. Sorry for my ineptness.

    Well it turns out I can’t even figure out how to copy the article. But here’s the info I do have.

    The Mind Blowing World Our Great-Grandchildren Will Inhabit
    By Victor Shvart
    May 13, 2017

    HELP!!! (Why me?). :mad:
     
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    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
  22. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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  23. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Yep, there will be some cool new technology that's for sure....who would have even thought of what we are seeing now even 50 yrs ago?

    Kind of wish I could see it but...oh well. :)
     
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  24. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    My brain is feverish tonight, and that makes me think of Michael more than I normally do. Before when I was sick, Michael always babied and care for me. When I would object, thinking he must be tired as well, he always reminded me that I got better quicker than if I didn’t get to receive “his” care, and he was right. He told me that was love too.

    My Michael was a tall big well proportioned man, and had only gained ten pounds from the time he was twenty-one. He was proud that he had maintained most of the ideals the Marine Corp had taught him, although he admitted some of those ideals had to change.

    Michael had never been sick a day in his life, until he was sixty-nine years old. Not even a headache. Then it was a slow decline for three years, and he died at home suddenly.

    I have been feeling very guilty every since, and no matter what people have told me, that guilt has remained.

    Tonight my muddled brain is wondering if maybe it has something to do with all the times he made the time to care for me. From the time I was seven my health has been very precarious, and I’ve had one health issue after another.

    But I feel that I never got to return his loving care until he was sixty-nine, and then no matter how hard I tried, I could not give him enough loving care to save him.

    Like I said in the title of this thread, these are just ramblings in minds, and I write them down in the hopes of understanding why I think of some of them.

     
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  25. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    I know you're just thinking out loud on here Dear Ina.... and not looking for replies...but I just want you to know that you have no reason to feel guilty... I'm sure Michael would be sad to think you were.((hugs)))

    You and I are the same...one illness after another since childhood..I think it was the affect of the way we were both raised....

    OTOH..my father didn't suffer an illness all his life, until the last 2 years and then he was hit with the big pole .... it's just the way it happens sometimes...
     
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