On Being A Member

Discussion in 'Help Requests' started by Frank Sanoica, Aug 20, 2016.

  1. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,651
    Likes Received:
    8,306
  2. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    4,821
    Likes Received:
    6,949
    I know that you have mentioned several times about the stalker that you acquired when you were on another forum, @Diane Lane . Were you ever able to completely get rid of that stalker or do you still think that they are lurking there and waiting for a chance to attack you yet again ?
    Until recently, I have never even considered the possibility of someone wanting to stalk me, and it is hard to imagine what goes on in the mind of a person who would lower themselves to the point of just invading someone's private and public life simply to make that person's life worse.
    If you have some pointers about how to deal with a stalker, I would appreciate hearing that.
     
    #27
    Diane Lane and Ina I. Wonder like this.
  3. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2016
    Messages:
    736
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    I had a great bit of advice fairly recently. Don get sucked in by anyone trying to involve you in personal attack against another member. It's not your battle. I have had enough battles through my own life. We are seniors just try to get along.

    If there is a slight irritation be magnanimous and move on.

    Stop trying to seek approval and just be confident in your thoughts.

    I think as in life we warm more to others because of specific interests.

    I have enjoyed your threads Frank. Keep them coming. ;)


    Great little forum. Great members.
     
    #28
  4. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,991
    Likes Received:
    13,735
    Some sites have a mob mentality where if you say something that a poster doesn't agree with they get their friends to attack attack attack. Good members are forced to leave. It's always the same people doing it and it's predictable.

    Yes, @Honey Gee its a good forum and we had a lot more nice people as members but they're gone. :(
     
    #29
    Sheldon Scott likes this.
  5. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,991
    Likes Received:
    13,735

    You should call the police if they are threatening you otherwise you have to suck it up like everyone else does

    I won't name names but I know a few that
    Have been stalked on here by someone on here. It's pretty well documented.

    I just block all my stalkers by phone number, username etc.
    I had someone call on my cellphone, saw who it was and blocked the number.

    I have never called this person in my life so you can imagine how shocked I was to get the call.

    Just document harassment....but make sure it's harassment.

    Do you think I don't notice when someone likes everybody else's post but mine on purpose?

    It's a silly game that's been played on here many times and in fact you asked me to do it to someone when they were upset with a poster that's not on here anymore
     
    #30
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2016
    Honey Gee likes this.
  6. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,651
    Likes Received:
    8,306
    If anyone gets persistent PMs just report them
     
    #31
    Ina I. Wonder likes this.
  7. Admin

    Admin Forum Administrator
    Staff Member Moderator Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2015
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    169
    Stop it, please. If this doesn't make sense to you, it's because I have deleted a few posts. Otherwise, you know what I mean. Please stop.
     
    #32
    Frank Sanoica likes this.
  8. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    14,991
    Likes Received:
    13,735
    I'm done Ken, I'm sorry.
     
    #33
  9. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2016
    Messages:
    3,825
    Likes Received:
    3,421
    @Admin
    Provocative cuss I don't intend to be, with my offbeat OPs, but anyhow, sorry for stirring up the hornets.
    Frank
     
    #34
    Joe Riley likes this.
  10. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2015
    Messages:
    5,897
    Likes Received:
    9,032
    .....give it a few days.;)
    [​IMG]
     
    #35
  11. Diane Lane

    Diane Lane Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2015
    Messages:
    4,590
    Likes Received:
    4,020
    I've heard that about rapid weight loss @Ken Anderson. Congratulations on the weight loss, that's quite an achievement. So, you just used Nutrisystem and walked 4 miles a day? I don't mean 4 miles isn't a lot, I must mean are those the only 2 measures you took to lose the weight, or did you do additional things such as taking any diet pills or supplements?

    I do tend to be somewhat aloof with others online now after my experiences, but that doesn't mean I don't care about y'all and have a fondness for some in particular :).
     
    #36
    Ina I. Wonder likes this.
  12. Diane Lane

    Diane Lane Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2015
    Messages:
    4,590
    Likes Received:
    4,020
    @Yvonne Smith Well that's the thing about a stalker, you never quite know whether you've shed them or if they're just waiting, and I believe that's the case. It's been about a year since I've seen anything that I could pretty much attribute to that person, but it's a constant struggle to keep everything private and not let anyone know/see anything related to my private life online. That's why I sometimes use an alias. As far as how to deal w/one, each one differs. People stalk for various reasons, and knowing those reasons can help determine how to deal w/them. I still don't entirely know the reason for mine, other than the stalker being jealous and a nasty, miserable person. Some have thought there was a potential romantic interest on that person's part, but I can't attest to that, since there were no romantic overtures. I won't consider myself free until the person is dead, but even then, that person tainted the water with others, so I would still be cautious.
     
    #37
  13. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2016
    Messages:
    736
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Best advice Ina ignore them. If they get a response it triggers satisfaction. Hard at times I know.o_O

    You see they are being discussed now. Whoever, they are.
     
    #38
    Ina I. Wonder and Terry Page like this.
  14. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,448
    Likes Received:
    9,808
    No, that was it. I did do some other walking but the two miles to the post office and two miles back each day was the only regular exercise that I did. I made a point of walking to some other places as well, but mostly it was Nutrisystem.
     
    #39
    Diane Lane and Ina I. Wonder like this.
  15. Terry Page

    Terry Page Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    4,349
    Likes Received:
    8,535
    That is spot on advice Honey t2030.gif
     
    #40
    Ina I. Wonder and Holly Saunders like this.
  16. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2016
    Messages:
    736
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Glad I prove useful Terry. I think why suffer stress at our time of lives. We deserve a break.

    A very wise man once told me. The world is divided into two types of people. The givers and the takers. The givers spend time and take interest in people. The takers couldn't give two hoots about anyone, only themselves. Me, me, me.

    Personally I found travel to different countries and cultures has broadened my view on mankind. I have travelled at times on my own. People will help you willingly.

    People are the same all over the world, they just come under a,different cover at times.

    One saying always is thought provoking to me. Told to me by an Indian gentleman on religion . At the end of the day we are all born under the same sky.

    Stalkers are a waste of space. Take up too much air :)
     
    #41
  17. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,401
    Likes Received:
    2,754
    There are times when it might appear to be stalking but in actuality it is with good intentions such as the incident with @Ike Willis when he went to hospital.
    Ike went missing from the forum and suddenly a couple of folks went on a search to find out what happened to him even to the tune of back searching his posts to get clues about his location, address, relatives, etc.
    Albeit there were good intentions involved, it is still a mass of invasion of privacy.
    Although Ike handled it with grace, it was still an action that should never have taken place.

    The net is a powerful tool and as a tool should be handled with extreme care especially when it comes to discussion groups such as this wonderful site. If any more information is needed other than in the pre-prepared bio then people need to contact the member personally. Then, if any further information is given in private, it should stay private as a privilaged piece of someone elses life and not merely something that can be handed out no matter what the reason might be.

    As an example, no one likes their personal information to be sold to the purveyors of products over the net but it is still done and is irritating as heck. The thing is that there is a way to unsubscribe with most spam but there is no opt out button when people get too curious and your information is made public by someone who knows how to type on a computer keyboard from a forum.

    At least, that's my opinion and hopefully will be received the way it is intended, that is, with friendship combined with some caution.
     
    #42
  18. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,651
    Likes Received:
    8,306
    @Bobby Cole - another great post ! :)
    Couldn't agree more
     
    #43
  19. Ike Willis

    Ike Willis Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2015
    Messages:
    2,450
    Likes Received:
    5,948
    Well, I never considered it stalking at all. I felt honored that anyone at all cared that much. I have kin who don't care that much. I'll be forever grateful. I still have the card Crissy sent me.
     
    #44
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2016
  20. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    7,651
    Likes Received:
    8,306
    @Ike Willis - I'm sure you've put a lot of minds at rest there Ike :)
     
    #45
    Ike Willis and Ina I. Wonder like this.
  21. Diane Lane

    Diane Lane Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2015
    Messages:
    4,590
    Likes Received:
    4,020
    Good to know, thanks!
     
    #46
  22. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2016
    Messages:
    736
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Apologies might have misunderstood the thread connotation. Perhaps stalking is not a good phrase to use in a thread especially about lovely member. Before it gets misunderstood like I can see it already has. In no way did I refer to @Ike Willis as a stalker. I was referring to stalkers in general.

    Hope that is understood.

    Jeez.
     
    #47
  23. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    21,356
    Likes Received:
    6,426
    Ike, we were all worried about you when you were ill...everyone was going around like headless chickens asking if anyone knew you're address so we could send you a card but no-one knew it, and everyone agreed with Admin that it might be an invasion of your privacy to attempt to track you down, but believe me if any and all of us had, had your address, you would have been invaded by cards,,, we really were very concerned..
     
    #48
  24. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,401
    Likes Received:
    2,754
    Perhaps using you as an example might have been a mistake for I now see which direction the posts have gone.
    All I was truly trying to put out there is that even though the intentions might be that of a good will gesture, in most cases I believe it to be prudent when doing any investigating other members.

    Although the thread does have everything to do with stalking, my post was merely another side of a coin which isn't considered stalking but can be construed as an invasion of privacy depending upon the person whose information is being sought after. I haven't gone back to that thread where you were sick but there were, if my memory serves me, a couple of people who thought it wrong to go to such lengths even though you are a much loved person here on Seniors. In this case, it might sound a bit hypocritical of me but although I am very, very reluctant to go after another person's info, I did like hearing that you were located and prayers were needed.

    My humble apologies for any confusion as to the temperment or the reasoning I submitted my post.
     
    #49
  25. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    4,821
    Likes Received:
    6,949
    Exactly !
    So, post your address, @Ike Willis , and we will all send you cards to your heart's content (kidding). You are a much-loved person on this forum, and everyone was worried and wondering how to find out if you were okay.
     
    #50

Share This Page