I woke up again, but am not sure if I woke up from my life or from a dream. Both are horrifying and I do not understand. I lie down and immediately I am in a world that I recognize but it continually changes. Then I wake again into the same type environment. I am not sure anymore if I am dreaming or awake. I go to my doctor and all he does is smile but then when I close my eyes during a blink I am at home, or what I think is my home. I think I am crazy at times but not sure which place I am crazy in, the dream or the woken state. Today I bought a gun. I knew that if I was in a dream state, then I could not produce the paperwork needed but I got it right away with no questions asked. I carry the gun with me all of the time. Who knows when my dream will go wild and I may need it? I can not take chances any longer. My life is out of control and I am scared. I must have killed somebody. I know I am in a gurney because I can’t move my arms and legs, I see three bottles of some chemicals, and there is an IV attached to my wrist. There is a priest or somebody next to one of the guards and he is praying for my soul! I am going to die, they are going to kill me. But it must be a dream! Yes, a dream and all I have to do is close my eyes and I will be back in the real world again. I close my eyes and no, it is the same here too!