I was new in my job when we discovered that my older brother was hooked on drugs. He was already married with one child but still living with us (I was still single then) so his problem did not escape my mother. And in spite of all the support given him, he was still on drugs. I remember my mother going out of the house at midnight to look for my brother who was out ahead of him. She was monitoring all the actions of my brother in order to protect him. Those were difficult times for my mother. Fortunately or unfortunately, my brother's wife gave birth to another boy who died after a few days. That somehow changed the picture. My brother had changed and before the year was over, he seemed reformed. He was driving a jeepney for a job and that was good enough. But then, he again went back to his vice. Fortunately the second indulgence did not last long and again, he reformed. On top of all that problem was my mother. If not for the care of my mother, perhaps my brother would have been dead by now.
That's quite a story, Corie. I'm so glad you're brother pulled through! It's great that his wife stayed with him, and she and your mother were able to be there for him. I would do the same thing your mom did if it was one of my children, no matter what their age or position in life.
Your mother is beautiful. He needed her. She's a giver. Now she needs him. He's now able to give back. Sounds like they share a deep love. That's what life is all about.
My brother is now a successful horse trainer earning good money. He was able to buy a house of his own, a car, and is providing a good life to his family. On the contrary, my mother is suffering from paralysis since the stroke some 5 years ago. We had to hire 2 caregiver to care for her. The expenses for my mother is gargantuan not only for the wages of the caregivers but also medicine, checkup, food (she is on a special diet). Ironically, my brother rarely visits my mother. That is one thing that my sister and I hated about my brother - his utmost neglect for our mother. Sorry for posting this but it pains me to think that my mother had done everything just to save my brother from the destructive vice called drug addiction. And now that my mother needs him, he seems to be ignoring our requests. With the money, my brother gives $100 a month for his share in the expenses for my mother although in reality the amount needed every month is $600.
I'm glad to hear your brother got his act together. Unfortunately there was very little your mother or his wife for that matter could do when he was on drugs because this is something someone has to admit to themselves and decide to stop. I am just sorry it took such a tragedy for him to come to his senses and get help. As for the way your brother is acting now, sometimes it's hard for individuals to watch the person who was always so strong to them be weak to the point where they need help. I know it may seem heartless to you but as someone who lived through a similar situation with her own mother I know from experience how hard it is to watch and I saw how some of my family members handled it differently. My older brother who has health issues of his own and was always close to her couldn't bring himself to see her during those months she was bed ridden which means he didn't see her during the last months of her life and it was something that weighed on him after her death.
@Hannah Davis, I understand what you are saying about not having the guts to see the suffering of a loved one. When my mother-in-law was in the hospital's ICU, my husband just went in once and never came back to the ICU. Whenever we would go for a visit, I would be the only one to enter while my husband remained outside. That was also the case when my husband's eldest brother was in coma due to a ruptured blood vessel in the head. But the case of my brother is different. It is obvious that they are trying to run away from the responsibility since my mother's condition requires a big amount for the regular expenses.