#metoo Now The New Trend

Discussion in 'In the News' started by Kitty Carmel, Oct 17, 2017.

  1. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Well-Known Member
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    This has been on the news the last couple of days but I just watched a piece on CNN about it. One attorney was on and stated women should speak out no matter what and if you do get retaliated against "you could become a millionaire"

    Another woman (I didn't catch who she was) was stating she was "privileged" to be able to speak out on CNN because others like people of color and people who are LGBT are not able to. And other guests were nodding their heads to this. I guess she never met the gay jerk I worked with who used this as the ticket to treat others, including me, like absolute dirt. And you better not say anything because they are gay and that's the only reason you are speaking out against them.

    It gets to me because there are so many injustices to people. Many of which don't fit in with the' hot button issue, this makes me look good for supporting' causes and so no one cares. Many people have suffered in absolute silence with no recourse. I'm just sick of this pretentious B.S.. Because that's what I think it is.
     
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  2. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    @Kitty Carmel , I empathize with you. I’m a very tolerant person, but I have absolutely no patience with rude people, and I don’t care what limitations they claim. As far as I’m concerned there are no excuses for abusing other physically or verbally.

    Now yes I do sometimes get angry with others, and I’ll have words with that person, but I never use curse words, nor do I berate anyone. I feel I’m quite capable of using the English language to describe whatever my feelings are at the time. By using derogatory terms, you only give the other person fuel to retaliate.
     
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  3. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Very Well-Known Member
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    @Kitty Carmel I am very opinionated about this subject and not sure I should comment...but... I personally do not know of any female who has not been a victim of this sexual harassment.
    However I do think once again this subject is getting out of hand.
    I can understand to a degree why a person under the age of say 21 would hesitate to speak up. But I do not understand why women with age and experience of the world would wait so long to tell all.
    A job? A family member? I think speaking out asap is still the best opition. If you let it ride for 10 or 20 years why bother to bring it out now?
    Plus what one woman or man considers sexual harrasment is different from what the actual definition means.
    Lolol .. I keep thinking about a man who felt the need to expose himself to a woman he did not know...she took one look at him and said..."seriously? You must be kidding?" Kinda put a damper on his pamper:D
     
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  4. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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    @Kitty Carmel , I'm sorry but I don't understand what you are sick of. Is it that people who are gay, etc. get special treatment just because they are that way?
     
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  5. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    I’m confused Kitty, I don’t think I understood you, so my previous post doesn’t seem to follow. Can you tell us a bit more?
     
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  6. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Well-Known Member
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    I need to clarify a few things obviously. I don't care if someone is gay or not. What gets to me about this very nasty person I have encountered at work (yelling, bellowing and humiliating me in public at work) is that he uses the gay card to be a jerk and feels no one can say anything against him because he will claim the only reason anyone does not like him is because he is gay. Which isn't the fact. I'm not the only one who expressed this. He is one of the most dangerous and scariest people I have ever encountered in the work place. He got a person fired with one call to corporate for no reason. I know this for a fact because my front office department head source told me. And I believe her. Oh and she's a Lesbian and hates him too. She can't even say his name without adding a four letter word to it.

    This is going to get too long but before anyone wants to put homophobe on me which I definitely am not, I'll tell you about an encounter with a transsexual woman at work. They always have someone meet personally with everyone yearly for benefit renewal at my last job. Two years we had a woman who was really nice, helpful and knowledgeable. She was also transsexual. In the break room people were making comments like "what was that" and "that wasn't a woman" I don't get into arguments with people over things like that or try to make them change their point of view. But I can shut them down really fast and let them know I won't listen to that garbage. My responses were "she sure is nice" and "she was very knowledgeable and helpful" That shut the people down real fast because they realized I wasn't going to nod in agreement and side with them on their ignorant comments. m

    What I don't like is just this whole #metoo thing. I think it's pretentious. Now suddenly people care so much. It's just going to go away like everything else and no one is going to care for more than a short time. One of my points was how the people on CNN were nodding in their agreement. And this gay person I have encountered has more rights at work than I do, knows this and uses it to their advantage.

    People suffer in all kinds of silence and some people just want to talk about the hot issue of the moment and I get tired of that.

    I don't know maybe I didn't explain myself again.
     
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  7. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Well-Known Member
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    Don't know if I explained it or now but I replied in the best way I could get my thoughts out. This is very complicated for me as someone who has put up with a lot of abuse. And believe me, no one has ever cared.
     
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  8. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    I understand you, @Kitty Carmel! Way to many people today want to have things "there way". A lot of people continue to complain about law enforcement, but if law enforcement is needed by them, they darn sure had better show up and quick.

    There are other things that people will say "me too" to and it's just plain stupid. Not everyone agrees with the lifestyle of the LGBT community, but their beliefs is pushed and shoved into our faces. They use the "me too" thing as well, when they don't get what they want.

    Ok, enough?
     
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  9. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Yep, it's a crazy world and everybody feels they're right. I try to avoid conflict in my real life and just try and enjoy what's important to me.

    Even though I feel I may be right about something ...the other person feels the same about their cause.

    As for #metoo....I could be a millionaire if the few times I worked at a job I could have sued for sexual harassment.

    Of course I was never raped but propositioned many times.
     
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  10. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    I remember my last Director/Supervisor telling me that when he was in Triple A Ball for the Padres, the Team Manager told everyone to never go into an elevator by youself with a lady in it. “A lot of times you’re asking for trouble”, the Manager added.
     
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  11. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I bet the one lady also was asking for trouble being in an elevator full of men. You'd cringe if I wrote about some of my experiences with bosses and co workers and friends of my husband...and I was married and they all knew it.

    Nothing went far because I stopped it and also told my husband but it did happen.
     
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  12. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Well-Known Member
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    @Chrissy Cross even the proposition is beyond inappropriate and humiliating.

    Sometimes people do meet at work. I know two nurses who's marriages fell apart at about the same time. The lady in this scenario stated that the man invited her for breakfast after work (night shift workers) and they have been married for many years. They were very professional though and no one at work knew they were dating, except me and one other nurse, until they announced their engagement.

    What also bothered me in this CNN piece was the lawyer making the "millionaire" comment. It almost came off as a joke by her. At least that's the way I took it. And again, most who put up with work place abuse will never get any justice. So for this lawyer to be so light in her comment really bothered me.
     
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  13. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    It can depend on what the woman is wearing and her personality.

    Problem today is, a co-worker man can’t compliment a lady on anything and same goes for a co-worker woman towards a man.
     
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  14. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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    It doesn't make a damn bit of difference what she is wearing! A man has no right to "Compliment" her.

    @Kitty Carmel, I see what you are saying. A$$ holes come in all genders. And a lot of them are lawyers.
     
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  15. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    You got that right @Shirley Martin ....Donna Karan got in trouble for saying that trying to defend her buddy Harvey Weinstein....she back peddled later, of course. :)
     
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  16. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    Have no idea where you are coming from with giving a compliment at work. When men and women were able to do, there was absolutely nothing wrong with a male worker saying “nice dress” or “nice shoes” or even “nice watch” to a female co-worker OR a female worker saying “nice tie” or “nice shoes” to a male co-worker. Married or single, it was just a compliment!

    Sounds like you’ve had problems with lawyers.
     
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  17. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    Today (sometimes) a woman will come to work looking like a Vegas Call Girl. Low-cut or skin-tight top, very short skirt and way overboard on makeup.

    Sometimes a man will come to work and brag about the lady he was with the night before (all night). Not “office” type talk, but some young guys simply don’t think, until a Supervisor or Manager calls the guy into his office.
     
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  18. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    I still give out compliments, and I still enjoy getting them. I think it depends a lot on the way it is presented. Just yesterday at a store, I saw a young man wearing a shirt that said, “Born this way, not raised”. I, without thinking about it said, “I like your shirt”, and I kept on walking. If I receive a nice compliment, I try to remember to take it as such.

    But yes, I too have gotten the wrong type of, “compliment”, and unwisely, my mouth will open before my brain engages, and I’ll pop off with a scathing remark. Sometimes it as stupid as, “ Watch it, I do bite!”
     
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  19. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    For me personally I see all these women, etc. finally "voicing" what they felt they could not "voice" when it happened. Men had all the power back then and could ruin women's careers, reputations, etc. if the woman did stand up and say she was being sexually harrassed or worse. There was also the problem that women were pretty much blamed for either wearing something to provocative, "leading on" a man by something she might have said or even did...according to the man's view point. There was also the fact that if a woman spoke up she would end up going through hell if the case when to Court...and the man would still usually win anyway.

    Now days the power has shifted some, and for women there is always a better chance if they all speak up at the same time. One woman standing alone still may be ignored but women coming together in Unity for what has been done to them...often shifts the power of truth to them.

    Every job I worked at I also got flirted with, propositioned, etc. at too. And I did nothing to deserve it. I finally decided I would only work for women after that...or be my own boss. And I stuck to this. No person has the right to sexually harass another person for any reason.

    Personally, I'm very happy to see those who had all the power back then...getting their just rewards now for abusing that power.
     
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  20. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    During my years of employment, I never once seen it THAT bad for women at work. Don't know why, but so many times women just want to blame men co-workers for this or that. I'm sure there were men out there that were "twerps", but I never heard about a problem in any job I had.
     
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    Last edited: Oct 19, 2017
  21. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    The men that do these kinds of things do not do them in front of others @Cody Fousnaugh and the women back then kept quiet and did not speak of this like they are doing today, so it is no surprise to me that you did not know about it or even hear anything where you worked.

    If a woman did say anything it would probably have been to another woman who worked there to warn them to watch out for so and so's "roving hands", propositioning, etc. Even if women did not speak out publicly years ago...and many even today...they usually would speak privately to warn the other women who worked under the person who was doing this kind of thing.
     
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    Last edited: Oct 19, 2017
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  22. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    I did hear things, like "nice dress" or "nice shoes", in which I'd say as well and get a smile and "thank you" from the female co-worker.

    Come to think about it, I never once got propositioned at work, darn it. Kidding, but not as well.
     
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  23. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    There's nothing wrong with nice dress or nice shoes comments but what I'm talking about went beyond that and no I wasn't dressed in a sexy manner at all.

    It was a job in the accounting dept.
     
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  24. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    Well, there are idiots at the workplace, I’ll give you ladies that.

    Another thing is, and this has been proven that it’s happened along with giving law enforcement false info, where a lady lied about what happened, for one reason or another.

    Once such incident involved a lady who told her boss and law enforcement that she was touched by a guy at work. She lied because she didn’t like the male co-worker and her boyfriend had broke up with her the night before. She was fired from her job and to pay a fine for a false police report.

    So, that happens as well.
     
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  25. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    Now days some women are a lot bolder and there is sexual harassment done by women in power positions to the male gender too.

    Unfortunately there will always be people who think of people as sexual objects...and they will go after what they want even if the person has given them no reason to do so.

    I'm very happy that this kind of stuff is not being tolerated like it used to be in the work force. But it still happens and there are still people who are to afraid of losing their jobs, etc. to report it.
     
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